Well, I've never blogged before because I figured my life was too boring for anyone to pay attention to. But having a forum, I suppose, gives us room to vent irregardless of whether others read it or not. I most certainly have my good days and my bad days like everyone else, but lately I've been really struggling with the frustrations of those around me who 'care'. On the one hand, I feel utterly guilty and wrong when I get exasperated with my husband, for example, who scrutinizes much of what I put in my mouth.... On the other hand, I'm a big girl, and it's my body and I need to be allowed to be me and not a child who needs monitoring every 5 minutes of my life!!
Now, to give background... My husband has had a very unfortunate life. He lost virtually all of his family at a very young age to a variety of causes (car accidents, cancer, etc.) and so is, quite understandably, very protective of me which I absolutely understand and try my best to respect. Add to this, my very recent (and first) experience with DKA that landed me in ICU for 4 days, which scared the ever-living crap out of both of us. However, I learned a very big lesson from this experience, i.e., no matter how sick I feel, NEVER go without insulin. Lesson learned. But his monitoring is driving me absolutely nuts!! And then I feel guilty when I get upset... It seems a no-win situation. I have tried explaining my point of view and acknowledging his very reasonable - and justified - concerns, but also try to explain what I have learned, what will help me and what won't regarding advice and monitoring. However, I still struggle with this idea in general (not just with him) of where the line is between my independence and respect for my ability to take care of myself and the "caring" of others.... I suppose time will tell. God grant me patience!