last week i went to the endo. for nothing, basically, but im keeping my appointments and going, even if its just to say that yes, the half unit pen is working fine, etc.
no, i cant have a pump, no, i cant have any more than the three test strips i get per day. thank god for my ma, who sends me cheap strips for my relion meter.
i arrive at the swimming pool late and bitch about the crappy medical system in spain-only crappy cuz i cant have what i want/need to take care of myself like i want to without spending more cash on this rubbish disease.
i never bitch to my friends about t1. i test in front of them. i shoot up in front them. i make surprised faces when i see a number on a meter im not expecting. they know if we go out to eat i dont pig out on bread or pasta if i want desert. they have never had to help me out in a serious hypo situation because ive never had one. never had to call an ambulance for me. never had to do anything for me with regards to my diabetes. maybe hold a book and a bottle of water while i rifle through my bag for a syringe, at most. yet, they take it upon themselves to do things that concern my diabetes that makes me want to stab them in their eyes with pencils, forks, earrings, a corkscrew, whatever is handy.
why is it that people think that because they know i have diabetes think its ok to ask what my number is when i test? what is that? since my bitching session at the pool, my friend has asked me three times in two days what my numbers are when im testing. i didnt answere tonite, as we were about to order food at a restaurant, and just answered a question directed at me by someone else. yesterday i gave tight-lipped "good"s. those are my numbers.
i ordered cheesecake for desert. another friend told her partner, WHO I JUST MET TONIGHT, emily has diabetes. we have to watch her. what is that? what is that? you have to watch me? watch me do what?!? these are professional women that have brains and they are just driving me crazy! i just met this person. i tested discretely at the table and he didnt even notice. he was looking at the menu, etc.
really? if hed noticed and asked, no problem, id have told him. but he didnt! nobody has to announce it! nobody has to tell a complete stranger about my pancreas! i am raging right now. and probably high from that stupid cheesecake.