I'm so glad you found the forum and had the courage to post! Sounds like you've really been working hard already. I'm so sorry both for your loss and for the frustration that comes when our best efforts are not enough. You are doing all the right things. Well done also for reaching out.
I know what it's like to have lost a parent (my mother) to diabetes. She went low in the night. It is a scary thing to walk in the footsteps of parents we've lost with the same disease. I love your perseverance in not wanting your story to be the same as your father's. You were determined enough to reach out here--even after multiple frustrations. That takes courage. Your story does not have to be (and I suspect will not be) his.
I would echo what everyone else has already said here. Ask for antibody testing. I asked for it this year when they wanted to diagnose me as having "pre-diabetes" after my gestational diabetes never resolved. I wasn't satisfied with that and requested testing over against my NP's wishes. So, be prepared to fight for it if you have to. Mine came back positive for GAD antibodies. Sounds like it's very possible given your history and that of your father's that is a distinct possibility for you.
Regardless, if you are positive for antibodies at all, you are not considered to have Type 2 (as you already know). And if you do not have type 2, you might qualify through insurance for a CGM (Continuous glucose monitor). Unfortunately, insurance often will not approve them for a diagnosis of Type 2. But it could be an invaluable resource for you as you reign in that A1C.
Either way, discussing the option of insulin sounds really important. So glad you reached out!