SuFu, it hurts to see your pain spelled out so clearly. You know we're here to support you. But... if this is how you feel, don't tell us, tell HER. In person. Verbally. If you have to print it out and read it to her because the words get lost when you're in her presence, do that, but for gosh sakes, she needs to hear this. And, more the point, YOU need to tell it to her. It may not bring you closer, and it may not change anything about your relationship with her, but the sooner you get it out, the sooner you can move on to whatever your future holds. And what it WILL do is set the stage for you to have a better relationship with your children. They are the best part of your relationship with your wife, and always will be. If you can't have with her what you had before, well, now is the time to focus on establishing a better connection with them.