Trust me i understand, In a family with over 70 cousins, 8 siblings and 21 neices and nephews I'm only one of 2 diabetics.Rest of my family doesnt get a thing about the disease, Im constantly bombarded with questions, being asked "you allowed to eat that?" even getting looks when im enjoying just one moment of chocolate milk (no sugar added type) like im trying to commit suicide via nesquik, Its rough. People at my job forget every other day constantly offering me cakes or candies, and the one person i did have in work that understood died right in front of me at work from a massive heart attack. I've been in complete fear since that day over a month ago because he is the 2nd person i know with type 1 diabetes for over 20 years to die before 60. Neither took care of it well so i can tell myself it wont be me, my last A1C was 6.4 so im doing what i need, but i have no one that look me in the eyes and truely understand my fear. I love this site because i can come on here and even though i dont speak much it helps to see others who do understand. I wish i had a few in my offline life. We all get worn down by life, thats life itself. Ups and downs. triumphs and losses, but nothing gets better unless you make it better. sitting here and letting these things bother you and control you will only start a routine, you have to break it. Just do something out of the ordinary, A day you ususally just go home after work, go checkout someplace ya havent been. Go take in a baseball game, stop by a friends to hang out for a while. I found breaking the cycle sometimes makes the biggest difference. Its never going to be simple. but it doesnt have to be hard.