Hi @ClaudandDaye, So glad to have you back and sorry to hear life has been kicking you about lately.
As for the A1C, don't ever feel like the effort you are taking is wasted. First of all, the months of lower A1Cs you did achieve translate to lower cumulative exposure to BG, which is good. Also, you now know it's achievable. So you don't have to believe anyone who tells you it's not...you know it's theoretically possible to get there again, which is HUGE. Many T1Ds spent decades thinking an A1C of 8 or more was baked in.
Second of all, I think a lot of learning happens on this experiential level you can't quantify or notice immediately. I firmly believe all that data is simmering in your brain, just waiting for a time to be useful. Many people have a "click" moment where things just come together, patterns seem to make sense, and all of a sudden they find themselves much less in react mode and more in anticipate mode. The learning curve is steep and always there, but we get stronger legs and hearts for climbing it. At the least, it is a labor of love, and love is never wasted!
As for the settling into real life and losing all the OCD stuff -- I hear you! We had our son down to about an average BG of 125 for a while, and now it's hovering in the high 130s. While that's not a huge leap, I know it's the result of lots of teeny decisions all day long to be less active. The decision to just go to sleep and let the high alarm wake me when I know that pasta is going to rear up at midnight and I could stay up to preempt the rise, the decision to let my husband be in charge of bolusing when I know a particular food better, the decision to bolus once for the meal instead of breaking it into three boluses that I know work better, the decision to let him be high at daycare and let the loop take care of it, instead of going to check on his site, the decision not to review his settings at night and instead watch some morbid Swedish murder mystery. I've stopped dreaming of math and new ways to visualize and understand his BGs. It's just hard to be in emergency!! alert!! mode all the time. My husband is happier but I feel like we're being too complacent. On the other hand, there's no doubt our family life is happier.
Also, just because you've taken a small break from OCD, that doesn't mean that's how it will be for all time. I mean, you have the ability to step up management any time you feel like it's good for your son, your family and your mental well-being. Don't beat yourself up about the A1C but also don't be resigned to an 8.5 A1C for all time. You can get back in the game anytime you want.
Finally, I want to say that while you should for sure trust your Endo team (and having 10 or 12 basal rates is probably not the easiest program to manage), you should also realize you are the expert on your kid, you're seeing him everyday, managing his BGs etc. So don't feel like you're always bound to what the Endo team suggests. Sometimes it's good to trust yourself.
Good to see you back on here!