How are "[we] all killing [you]"? I see a lot of favorable reviews by many pumpers here. Not everyone likes them. I just wrote this in the last couple of days:
A pump works by providing insulin 2x ways. It puts out a steady "drip" of basal insulin, which you need to keep your body working ok. This is set at a rate, like .825U/hour. It is very handy because if, for example, your BG runs up every morning, you can change your .825 to .875, see if that works, if it works a little, you can try .9 and see how that goes until it's "set". Then things might change again but you can be very precise in your control. If you get sick, you can turn it up to 200% of normal and "cover" the rise from an infection. If you are going for a 2 hour bike ride, you can turn it down to 20% of normal (or whatever, there's often trial and error in these sort of basal adjustments, or at least there were for me...) and be good to go.
Then, when you want to eat something, you use the pump to administer an amount based on the # of carbs your ratio is determined to be, say 10G of carb/ unit. So if you eat a sandwich that's 25G of carbs, you bolus 2.5U of insulin and eat. You can have different ratios at different times of day, just like the basal rate time adjustment.
In terms of logistics, the pump has a pump motor and a reservoir to keep the insulin in and some hardware and software to run the stuff on. There's two kinds of pumps, tubed, with a pump, about the size of a flip phone, a tube connecting the reservoir to an infusion set and the set itself, a small plastic tube you stick into your preferred location with a needle, take the needle out and leave the set in for a 3-4 days maybe. There's also the Omnipod which just has the Pod gizmo that you stick to your body with the pump and rf gear and needle that sticks itself into you. You run it through the controller, which is another cell phone sized gizmo.
I've enjoyed my pump since about 2 hours after I got it, when I tested at 85 after 3x Taco Bell tacos (I'd been at the doc getting set up for a couple of hours and didn't want to waste more time @ the tastier taco place so I headed for the border...). It's helped me do a lot of things much more easily than I think it would have been with shots for me.
One thing left out of that that I really like about it is that the data compilation that my pump does, both on it's own and then the additional layer with the CGM, has been very useful. If you are having issues or wondering how to tweak things to make them run more smoothly, upload your pump and see a sort of "forest" you might not get with the daily "trees" of one BG test after another.
I have the Medtronic Pump which is not waterproof. I've gotten rained on a couple of times and it's survived tucked into a pocket. I had a "BUTTON ERROR" failure 3.5 years into pump number one (4 year warranty...), after a sweaty 14 mile run at 87 very humid degrees. I dunno if that did it in or not as they didn't provide a report (although I didn't ask for one...) but I had a new one the day after the next business day. Eerily, the error, which I've seen other reports about it being humidity/wetness related, seemed cured by putting the pump in the freezer since it was beeping and I didn't want to take the battery out for some weird reason and we were partying. The next morning, I took it out, let it warm up and, amazingly, it seemed cured. I still sent it back. I have no idea what Medtronic made of that...