I've been Type 1, since the age of 16 (a junior in high school). While other girls were learning to apply lipstick and mascara, I spent 2 weeks in hospital learning the fine art of "shooting up."
I also wondered why life was doling out such a cruel and unjust punishment. Realizing that death was not a viable option for me, I chose life.
Yes, in those days my mom had to sterilize glass syringes on the stove. There was no apparatus to test BG...it was by no means easy. Please realize how lucky you are to have been born later where there's such a wide array of products and an ever-evolving improvements in technology to help us.
I've been in a diabetic coma and I've many episodes of overnight hypo, sometimes regaining consciousness in the ER.
I have both a very strong love of life and an equally strong will to survive.
At 16 I was told I wouldn't live to age 50 and never have children. Now, I'm well over 50, have 2 wonderful sons and 2 beautiful grandsons.
Pete, we are all 'fighters.' We do our best to maintain homeostasis, by whatever means possible.
Never lose sight of the things and people you love. Soul searching could prove helpful. And so could counseling.
Lastly, remember that you are loved.