I'm going to visit my endocrinologist on Monday with the hope that she will tell me my womb is now safe to be occupied. I am optimistic that I have lowered my A1C over the last three months and that she will give me the green light. She is located across the hall from the maternal fetal high risk OB clinic where I will be transitioning to once I have a bun in the oven. They have "diabetic" Friday clinic days when all pregnant T1 diabetics show up for their battery of tests and adjustments.
I have this fantasy. I am pregnant, diabetic and visiting this clinic every other Friday to make sure that the growing fetus is not living in a toxic environment. I see myself in the small-ish waiting room. The walls are painted a sterile white and there are paintings with calming colors. On the tables, magazines are stacked with covers featuring healthy babies. A mother is holding her shapely child above her head and there is a lovely park in the background. She is happy with her healthy baby. There are only women in this waiting room. Pregnant women with little bumps and swelling bellies. Type 1 women with insulin pumps attached to their hips. Because it is Diabetic Friday. I strike up a conversation with them and we find out that we have everything in common. We are all pregnant AND diabetic. We see each other every two weeks in this waiting room. Five of us become friends. We have fancy lunches in downtown Chicago when the drone of non-stress tests, ultrasounds and tweaking of basal rates are finished. We order our mid-day meal. Could I have 1 cup of a tasty low-sodium, vegetable soup with extra vegetables. Two ounces of lean protein. A slice of whole wheat bread, preferably with a low glycemic index. And a non-alcoholic, sugar free margarita please. We discuss our latest A1C's, how much our insulin requirements have increased, what doctor we saw that day and what he told me that was different from you. We discuss how often and when the fetus is kicking, how our husbands are talking to our bellies and whether or not we will return to work. We discuss the nurses we LOVE and the one's who drive us crazy. We lament about our challenges and celebrate our triumphs.