Please advise the panic-stricken diabetic!
After 10 years of "controlled" retinopathy, I went to an annual eye doctor appointment (the ONE doctor that I'd gotten to NOT feeling anxious about!) and found out that my vision in my "bad" eye (scar tissue down the middle from a detachment, but corrected vision of 20/60) is now 20/400! Further exploration showed that I have fluid accummulation behind the macula. Thank God it's in the "bad" eye - I can still see relatively well out of the other one!
The eye doctor said that it was not NEARLY the worst she had seen - and that a simple steroid injection to the eye would probably clear it up - and referred me to a retinal specialist that I'll see on Wednesday. Unfortunately, my experience has been that nothing is EVER simple for us diabetics, and vision issues tend to be huge, complex and scary to me. Research on the web, of course, simply made me MORE anxious...
Anyone have experience with this? Any words of wisdom - or even comfort?
I've worked with the blind - as a rehab counselor - and it's really weird... I'm not scared of going blind, exactly - I know what accommodations can be made, and while I dont' WANT to lose my vision, I KNOW it's not the end of the world... I think I"m panicking about the idea of the big scary "COMPLICATIONS" beginning. I've been diabetic for 23 years - and currently, my only complications are retinopathy and a little neuropathy (mainly carpal tunnel, which I might have even if I were NOT diabetic, due to the nature of the work I do).... I see my endo regularly, my last A1C was a 7.8 and it's improving (NOT GREAT, I know... but not the worst either!) My kidneys, liver, etc all check out fine. Cholesterol is slightly elevated and I take blood pressure meds to control blood pressure... But, I've been losing weight and it's helping.
I'm just tired of feeling older than most old people. I'm 38, but I feel older than most senior citizens I know seem to feel. I certainly worry over my health more. I have a 7 year old daughter, and I worry about the impact my health will have on her - whether I'll stay "healthy" or not...
Frustratingly, every time I start to get BETTER control of my blood sugars, it seems "complications" arise... Is that "normal?" It feels like being punished for doing the right thing.
Sorry for the downer post - I'm just having a really rough time right now and looking for some support.