My grandmother calls me every day and cries into the phone "Why you? Why not me? I wish I could have this illness instead of you".
My mother tells me how she is not enjoying anything anymore and keeps thinking about my health. She bought me a 10 days stay at a fancy diabetes clinic in Germany which was really expensive... She is booking an expensive summer holiday trip for me and my boyfriend just to make me happy.
And these two people are everything that I have as a family. And it seems to me that I am causing this pain. I know that it is not my fault that I have diabetes. But for some reason I feel like I deserve it and that it is meant to be which is fine for me as long as I am not disappointing others.
I can have great days and feel strong, but these moments destroy everything and I just feel guilty.