This really isn't the right thread for this, but I can't help myself. The devil is making me do it.
It's 3:00 AM and the Pope is sound asleep. The cardinal who has the duty that evening enters and gently wakes him.
The Pope stirs and says, "This had better be important," or some words to that effect. "Oh yes, Holy Father," says the cardinal. "We wouldn't dream of disturbing you for something that wasn't. There's a phone call you have to take."
"Okay," says the Pope, "you want to tell me what's going on?"
"Well," says the cardinal, "Your holiness, you need to prepare yourself. I have good news and bad news."
"I don't think I'm fully awake yet," says the Pope, "so give me the good news first."
To which the cardinal responds, "Your Holiness, it's God on the phone, and he wants to talk to you. As a matter of fact, he asked for you by name."
"Well, that sounds good, all right," says the Pope. "All right, let me have the rest of it."
The cardinal takes a deep breath, turns an interesting color, and stammers out, "He's calling from Utah."