We are all worried about you and for you. We all understand that diabetes is a fight that you must fight everyday. We all know how hard it is on you, our children and ourselves.
I have never been sadder than the day my young boy was diagnosed with T1D. A few days later, he and I went to a week-end camp for diabetic kids. Up there, this is what a young woman, T1D, just exactly your age, told my son, who was 11 (he is 12 now):
"When you were diagnosed, you were given one heavy burden, and three special gifts that nobody else can get but us.
For the rest of your life, you will have millions of friends around you, all the T1Ds of this world, who understand everthing you are going through, and will give you help, love, understanding and assistance. Who else in the worlds gets millions of instant best friends?
Because of the burden you have, you will also have compassion for all the others around you who also bear a burden of a heavy kind. How can we not be sensible to the pain of others?
And, because you have it in you to live with the burden you have, you also will have strength to bear other things in life that will seem so hard to others. if you can take diabetes, day after day and night after night, the rest will feel very small.
You will be a wall of strength to the others around you. You will have compassion for them. And, when you feel low, wherever you are, you will be able to draw upon all diabetics around you that you were given special friendship with the very day you got this.
So you see, diabetes comes with bad luck, but also with a lot of good luck."
That day, my son met other diabetic kids for the first time (we live in a rural area and there is no big crowd around us). He is on social media with them almost every day. Wherever he meets other diabetics, they bond with him right away. We were at a party a few weeks ago where he spent an hour talking to a woman 20 years older than him, who is also a T1D like him.
You have the same opportunity. All around the world, and all around you, every diabetic is your gift-given friend, from the day you were diagnosed - a friend who knows and understands you more than any other, and who is ready to help you as well. Your first step is to find these friends and draw upon their help wherever you are.
You are just a bit older than my older son - we parents live for our children. You probably have clinical depression right now, from what you are sharing with us. Can your parents take you on and help you through the next few months, maybe move to your house for a while?
Have you talked to Medtronics? Do you have basal and bolus insulin on hand?
Your friend Michel. Feel free to msg. I can give you a phone number to call me if you want. You need to talk to someone who will listen to you.