I love summer. I love the heat and the ability to wear cute little skirts and sundresses. But I HATE the lows that always come with the hot weather. At first, it's kind of nice to watch my insulin requirements lessen in the warmer weather. But then, the lows start and my basal rates go nuts and I feel like I'm living in a permanent fog. I've had several bad middle-of-the-night lows recently, one of which almost required the EMTs. Last night was another one that, while not as bad as the one last week, was bad enough to keep me up the rest of the night.
Whenever I go low, I'm always scared to go back to sleep. I've had a few hypoglycemic seizures over the years (mostly at night) and it only takes one to fear having another. So I just stay up. I watch TV, I graze to treat the low (so bad, I know), I rebound, and then I'm a zombie the next day. I've had 3 cups of coffee today and I'm still out of it. I don't know how I'm even functioning and I'm sure I don't look too hot either. I hate when this happens because it just throws off the whole day, BG-wise and work-wise. I have a headache too. Strangely, aside from the 201 I had on my way into work this AM (can you say rebound?), my BGs have been pretty good. But my cognitive functioning is a mess.
This is always one of the hardest parts of D for me - the inability for people to understand what's going on with me. I really only have one colleague that knows about my D, and when she asked me today if I was ok (probably because I look like I'm not), I did tell her what was going on lately. So at least she understands. But you can't exactly go around announcing, "Yeah, I had a bad low last night so I'm a freaking zombie today. Sorry that I can't talk properly or think straight. Better luck tomorrow!" In this respect, D is an invisible disease. Our bodies are often wacking out all over the place, but unless you tell people (or have a majorly obvious bad low) people just don't know. I can appear functional down into the 50s, but I'm not all there. It's strange and hard to work around some days. I have a job that requires a lot of thinking and being unable to think is beyond frustrating. Lost day in terms of productivity, so I am going to throw in the towel and head home in a bit.