Sounds like a classic case of what I have come to call T1 Claustrophobia. It comes to all of us, less frequently over the years, but I think you hit an especially vulnerable period a few months after dx when the initial shock has worn off and the difficulties of just getting the hang of your treatment regime and carb-counting and whatnot starts being less of a distraction and you suddenly realize, wait a sec, unlike every other time I've ever been down with something, This. Is. Never. Going. Away.
I was DX'd in 1983 at age 28 and I still remember looking at the list of foods they handed me in the dr's office. As I recall it was divided into three categories: stuff that was ok, stuff you could "exchange" (the old "exchanges" diet, yeesh), and finally the all-important Avoid list. As I recall--and I'm sure my memory is colored by the subjective shock of it, but nevertheless: right at the top in funereal German black-letter all-caps was a doom-laden four letter word:
That, plus the "I can't believe I'm about to do this and it's never going to stop" feeling when they handed me my first hypodermic and showed me what to do, was my first experience of the dreaded T1 Claustrophobia.
Here's the thing though: it is SO much better than it used to be. Ok, pizza is the devil incarnate, we all know that (search on "pizza" here and you will see all manner of frustrated how do I bolus for this stuff!!! comments), being as it is the single most ubiquitous, unavoidable and highly tempting social-gathering food out there--and of course pizza without beer is an abomination before the lord. Nevertheless, even rich, carb-containing dinners can yield to a diabetic well armed with pump, CGM and a little foreknowledge. It is true that a lot of us, yours truly included, practice carb avoidance as a matter of routine because it just makes it a lot easier to stay off the BG roller coaster. But it's not an absolute. As a f'rinstance, last night at a restaurant I enjoyed two Sierra Nevadas, New Orleans-style shrimp toast and suckling pig charcuterie, and thanks to the dual bolus feature my post-prandial never got above the 140s. Well, ok, my CGM says I was trolling along on the low side overnight but nothing I had to get out of bed for, just 70s with a level arrow.
Whereas back in the old R/NPH days... well, let's just not go there.
Point being: we all know exactly what you're feeling because we've all been there and there is no shame in it. It is what it is. But we're also here to tell ya, Yup, you can do this.