Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by amy mercer on August 31, 2008 at 5:42am

Stuart,
You posted this so long ago and I'm sorry that no one has responded...where are the other moms and dads with type 1? My kids are younger than yours (7 and 4) and so far they have not seen a bad low of mine. I have actually not had a bad low since they were born which I think says something about becoming a mother. I still get low of course, but since I had kids I have not had the kind of lows I used to, the kind where my husband had to pour juice down my throat in the middle of the night to bring me back. I think becoming a parent changed something-my sense of responsibility? my need for control? my knowledge that I am no longer invincible? Or maybe I haven't been low because being a stay-at-home mom has allowed me to live on a tight schedule...I don't know....I do know that you should think in terms of something your kids "should" never have seen. Give your kids more credit than that. They were scared, they saw that adults are not in control all the time and now, they refer to that time to remind themselves and you of what exactly? That they have a father with a chronic illness, that they can help you by reminding you to test, that you need them too. Not such a terrible lesson.....

Permalink Reply by Stuart on September 4, 2008 at 6:15am

Hello Amy:

I put it out there, it is all one can do, right? And now, a new friend has responded. Thank you! The cause of their question is the maleviolence with the big teeth. The reminder is benign, though in a bad mood I might bite at it a tad as well....

In my humble opinion, experience (for whatever that is worth) there is knowledge, experience(s) which children should NOT have, not for a very, very long time (ever?). Out of sequence, prematurely, an event (like the one they encountered) harmed them emotionally... and myself even more so.

Permalink Reply by Linda G on September 9, 2008 at 6:31pm

Man, but what an experience...for the children as well as for yourself. Forever indelibly seared to memory....sorry to hear that. I wasn't diagnosed 'til my children were teens, and yet I still dreaded ever being "caught". They're now 22 and 24, and it's not until a couple of months ago that I had a low bad enough to bring it home to them. I was guilt ridden! Go figure....not as if I could have prevented it, because I did cheque before getting behind the wheel. I was on my way to my son's, travelling on roads I'd driven on thousands of times before when suddenly, nothing made sense...not the roads, the signs, the buildings...and an overwhelming sense of panic. Drenched, I pulled over and tested....3.2 (57)! By the time I got to my son's place, he was frantic...I was over an hour late, for a stretch that normally takes 15 minutes. He was actually on the verge of tears when I told him what had happened. So, as you see...it never leaves you...but that certainly doesn't compare to the trauma it causes young children. We have to walk away from that, look ahead and stay positive...don't burry yourself in "what could haves".....take care...linda.

Permalink Reply by Stuart on March 25, 2009 at 10:12am

Hello Linda:

I am a diabetic, and shall be so for the rest of my days. (ie hopefully at least 60, 70 years forward)

How do we, ANY of us "walk away" from the Diabetic Ground Hog Day (Malevolent version) prey tell? We all do ~damage control~ no matter what form that takes for a given event, or events but OUR "low experiences" apparently make hideous scars to their memory(ies).

Whther they are children, teens, or our parents, family(ies). It is ALWAYS whether openly or secretly ~...when will IT happen again...~


How do we crush such malevolent ghosts? There is no making peace with them, unless the fairy comes and cures us. Myself I lack that faith...

Stuart

Permalink Reply by Linda G on March 25, 2009 at 8:50pm

True here too, Stuart....we've heard over and over that the cure is just around the corner....well, I have my doubts that the corner is even on this planet!

Permalink Reply by Timi on December 7, 2008 at 6:36pm

Hi Stuart, Just wanted to share my story with you. My husband and I have taught our children from a very young age that mommy sometimes has lows and what I say and do at those times, I don't have control of. My kids have witnessed me having a low more times than I'd like to admit. It is never easy on them. I would always break down in tears telling them how sorry I was, as I was coming to. My kids are now 7 and 4 and they know what to do for me just in case. I think that helped alot. Giving them the info to get me help if they or myself could not. It took alot of fear away knowing they can call 911 if I really needed it, which ended up happening when my daughter was 5 and my son 2. It was around 3 or so in the morning and my daughter woke up to me screaming and kicking. She tryed to give me juice but I was not able to drink it so she tried to call her dad at work, but could not get through. She then called 911 and told them that I am a diabetic and could not drink the juice she gave me. Then she asked them to call her dad at the fire station and have him come home. My then 2 year old kept repeating "mommy needs sugar". When the police got there she unlocked the door to let them in. When all was said and done my children where a little upset, but knew they helped save mommy. I think if you explain to your kids that you have no control when your low and it scares you as much as them, maybe that is a good start.

Permalink Reply by Stuart on March 25, 2009 at 10:02am

Hello Timi:

Their memory(ies) have vicious teeth and meaningful venom to them.Apparently it is the first thing they think of w/ dad behind the wheel. Our defacto impotence (towards any low) does nothing to assuage/reduce their fear..

There is nothing more that can BE DONE , to prevent "a repetition", that is not being done. In spite of that truism, their memory, their recollection hurts in ways I cannot give voice....

Stuart

Permalink Reply by Traci on July 13, 2009 at 12:25pm

I too am sorry that this was posted so long after your question. All I can say is that down the road, you'll probably be laughing about it. I recently had a patient that was diabetic and came in with his two adult children. Curious since he was only in his early 50's I asked him how long he had been diabetic. "Since I was 10," he replied. Now equally curious since my husband has been diabetic since he was 4, I asked him how his kid's handled his low's.

His daughter in the corner popped up and said, "I was 12 when he had his first low. At first I flipped out and was scared. At 16 or 17 I was embarrassed by my dad's diabetes and often hated it. And now, we just laugh about some of the things he does when he goes low. It's hilarious. I got a new dress out of it, and he doesn't remember saying yes! Sometimes even though it's scary, laughing about it later makes all the difference."

Permalink Reply by Linda G on July 13, 2009 at 12:32pm

Yes...that's a good way to handle a touchy topic....lightens the load a tad.

Permalink Reply by Stuart on August 3, 2009 at 4:48pm

Hello Linda:

I wish a simple dress were the cure for this now "ancient demon",... and I would not mind at all , IF, IF it ended the life of it (said demon). No matter what I bought, did... it returns without permission, in spite of my best efforts.

The ~damage done~ apparently will not be healed...

Stuart

Permalink Reply by Stuart on August 3, 2009 at 4:41pm

I appreciate the input regardless...

I cannot laugh at that which is dangerously raw and shreading my spirit Traci...

If the kids were girls, I shudder to think what the price of any low whether then, now or in future might be... Emilda Marcos's famed shoe collection would be tiny by comparison I suspect.

Too few things cause laughter IMDE I merely put out the flames and find/await the next ones... diabetic damage control 101....

Stuart

Permalink Reply by Traci on August 4, 2009 at 8:39am

Stuart,
I'm sorry this is such a tough subject for your family. I'm sorry if my reply offended you in anyway. I was trying to just say that perhaps in time things will get easier... I know it's rough. I've been through them with my own family on a different end. As the spouse of a diabetic I pick up a lot of the slack. If this is such a hard situation for your family and causing a lot of irrepairable heartache perhaps the best route for your family is to get some professional help. Perhaps it will help your family heal. My husband and I needed some help after he went through a period of time when he was on Lantus. He was having such swings with his blood sugars that it was causing a very hard time in our marriage. It definetely helped us to have someone who could get our family headed in the right direction. Again, I'm sorry if you were offended in any way.

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