Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by MegaMinxX on May 12, 2012 at 9:31pm

Hi Kelsey,
sorry to hear you're struggling so. We've all been there at one time or another.

Why do you feel it needs to be perfect all the time ?

There are many things that affect BG's. It made me realize how complex and amazing the human body is, with the pancreas, liver, and hormones sending signals and keeping a non-diabetic in perfect harmony. There's no way we can be as 'perfect' as that, and I learned to accept that. But still frustrating !!

Maybe you can change your expectations about being 'perfect'. Ask for help on the situations you think you could have done better. You will see how others have struggled, and may find suggestions for doing it differently. But many times, we just can't control things like emotions, anxiety/stress and monthly fluctuations in hormones, that sporadically influence how sensitive insulin is, resulting in unpredictable BGs.

As a teenager, you have lots of normal teenager emotions going on too. That by itself is a challenge even without diabetes. Give yourself some credit for what you have accomplished so far, and celebrate your baby steps in your journey with D.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Brian (bsc) on May 13, 2012 at 6:38am

You are not perfect. I am not perfect. I can see that ever day I wake in the morning and look in the mirror. But in the months after my diagnosis, I didn't understand that. I was angry and depressed. In hindsight, I realize that I was grieving. In a sense, I had died. The old me was gone. The one who could eat whatever they wanted, not have to do all that diabetes stuff and could just be the same as all the "normal" people around me. And my mortality hung over me like a cloud, I felt my impending death.

Looking back, I now feel like I went through by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross five stages of grief. The five stages are:

D'Nial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

These things happened in various stages and ups and downs, but eventually I came to terms and accepted things. These days I feel a lot better, as though I was a Phoenix that arose from my destruction.

Your feelings are real. They are part of your processing what has happened to you. It is ok to cry and it is important to not keep this bottled up. Things are not fine, and you won't get better. But over time, you can deal with what has happened to you and live a healthy happy life, it will just be different.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Doris D on May 13, 2012 at 6:43am

Don't try to be perfect listen to what bcs says. Hey Honey even after 38 years (soon to be 39)I still strugal with the D {{{Hugs}}}

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Lorraine on May 13, 2012 at 8:08am

Oh Kelsey. It took me a while, but I came to realize that "perfect" has a different definition in the world of diabetes. It's probably more accurate to say that it cannot be attained. I think you, like me, have come to learn that if you put in enough effort, if you try hard enough, then you will succeed in life. That holds true too, for diabetes, but with diabetes, success includes having some coloring outside of the lines. I've redefined "success" in the world of diabetes and it has made it easier. Maybe you can cut yourself some slack and see that you are succeeding as well. I bet your and Michael's pizza boluses worked out pretty darn well! ;)

• ▶ Reply