I've been watching your posts the past few weeeks. Sorry you are feeling so bad!
Yes, it does sound like you are depressed.
Do you have someone you can talk to?
Don't give up Honey!
Tell us what is happening with you even with the roller coaster. Maybe we can give advice or input that would help.
Please know that I care about you, though I am on the other side of the world.
A lot of people care, and understand what you are going through, some have been there, some are there right now. It is hard to care about yourself when you are hurting so bad and it seems like nobody understands, let alone cares, but people do.
It has to start with just one small step,to begin to love yourself enough to care for yourself when your are hurting, and to believe that you deserve that care and that self-love. Just to eat when you are not hungry, eat the right food too, to test when you don't want to, and to take your insulin right. To care enough to do that work, it will help you to get to a better place. It is a good place to start. The roller coaster will slow down for you and you can catch your breath. We are here for you, and yes, we really care.
I never want to make light of another person's problems or sluff them off as trivial.
BUT... especially at your age, the problems that seem so big right now will be forgotten over time. Your obstacles are temporary. Whatever sadness you're feeling will go away. Your problems might seem very big, very real, very sad. But don't let them overwhelm you. Everything passes in phases. Particularly with the diabetes, you will have good days and bad days. All you can do is strive to make each day better.
Listen to Jessica
I've read a few of your other posts and it sounds like you have a lot going on in your family life as well as your own diabetes. You need to talk to someone. Maybe a friend, teacher or school counselor. Trust me it does get better:)
I've noticed occasionally that if my basals are set too high, even a shade, like what used to be .05/ hour but now I have a new pump that goes to .025 increments, my BG will suddenly be running low all the time and I'll go through more jelly beans than usual and get sort of unhinged about it until I finally say "hmmm, maybe if I turn my pump down..." and fix it? It might be worth looking into? Although there's lots of other reasons to be feeling like what you are describing?
As much as you probably would like to just force a smile onto your face and make yourself feel better it isn't likely to happen if you're depressed. Just like diabetes, depression needs treatment and you deserve help in digging yourself out of the hole you're in. If you don't feel like you can talk to your parents about this, please talk to your favorite teacher or someone else you trust and ask for help. Talking to a therapist can do wonders; sometimes you may need to use medication. As much as we all would like to help you we can't sit in the room with you and we can't figure out what you need to begin to feel better. But there are people who can help you and you can begin to find one by asking people close to you for help.
I go with Maurie here. He's given u some good advice there!
Me too, Kelsey. I know people are being helpful when they give you suggestions. But what I got from your words and other posts are that you have been trying to make it better and it is only getting worse
I too recommend you ask a teacher or school counselor to recommend a good therapist who can do a full assessment and see if you are in fact suffering from Major Depressive Disorder. If you are, it just won't go away on its own and you can begin treatment if so. You are very brave to ask for help, and I can only imagine how hard it is for you right now. I can only tell you on a personal note that I had a very hard time emotionally when I was your age and wish someone had gotten help for me back then. I made it through but I could have maybe avoided a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Hi Kelsey: I am so sorry that you are feeling so very down. I know that you are newly diagnosed, and that is an especially hard time. I always say that the emotional side of diabetes is much more difficult than the testing, dosing, tweaking, etc. that we need to do.
I do think that when we are first diagnosed we go through a period of grieving, and grieving takes MUCH longer than most of us care to admit. When I was first diagnosed, I was lucky enough to find a therapist who had been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes 40 years prior, as a young child. She was so helpful to me. Maybe you could find someone like that, or get a trusted adult to find someone like that?
Finally, we here are TuDiabetes are here for you, and we understand or seek to understand. If only you take a little support from us, I hope that gives you some tiny ray of hope.