Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tony on August 14, 2011 at 8:53am

I read your story and think you are amazing...you are living the life so many would like, but lack the nerve. How amazing to have a place in both communities and never have to say "I'm sorry" to anyone. All the very best to you!! Tony

Permalink Reply by Jim H on April 16, 2010 at 12:25am

Like most I've always known I was gay. But it was probably when I was about 8 yrs old and looked up the term "homosexual" in the dictionary that I knew for sure. And with my dad having a subscription to National Geographic magazine, it helped bring pictures of all those scantily clad native peoples from around the world to our doorstep. Ahhh... memories...!!

I came out "officially" in my Christian college in 1983. My best friend (female) and I went to a local club. We had a few drinks and before I knew it, this guy swept me off my feet and off we went to his apartment. He was my first gay sexual experience and my life has never been the same. Currently, my partner and I have been together for about 10-1/2 years. He is my dream man and I cherish every moment we have together.

I have been diabetic now for almost 15 years. I've never been shy about sharing my experiences with others - good, bad or indifferent. I have always been upfront with people about my diabetes. My coworkers have been very receptive and supportive. I have even given them instructions regarding hypo clues and what to do in case of an emergency.

I guess, I've been lucky that my workplaces have never made me feel ashamed for being gay and/or diabetic. So, I'm definitely out of any closet - gay, diabetic or otherwise. Aloha!.

Permalink Reply by CarbloverTX on August 8, 2010 at 1:40am

I was a bit hindered coming out, as I grew up in a very conservative military town. Sure, there are gay guys all over the place (in High School many GIs used to come in to the bookstore I worked to buy gay porn), but they were all closeted. The only guys I personally knew who were gay were very effeminate. I had no masculine gay role models. The other problem was that nobody I found sexy even remotely looked like the gay stereotype.

I've always had a thing for chubby guys. It took me a bit to realize that, but that's another story.

I was lucky that when I went off to college and was ready to explore, the internet was just exploding,so it was easy to find other guys like me, and had the freedom to chat anonymously with people about what I was going through. Man, the hours I spent on AOL.

In any case, I finally came out at the age of 25, after a few encounters and after I had met my first lover. I sent a letter to my family members, telling them this man was my partner, and I expected him to be treated like family. For the most part, that went well, though my mother was very upset and confused for a while, and my father told me I was going to hell. He got over it, and actually gets along very well with my current husband.

I've encountered very little overt prejudice because of my sexual orientation.

I didn't tell one of my best friends, though, and when he saw me dancing with my partner at a friend's wedding, that kind of shocked him. That was the last I ever saw of him.

About the only times prejudice has really been an issue was the 11 months my late husband spent in a Houston hospital. Many of the nurses there refused to call him my husband or partner. They kept referring to him as my friend...or to me as his. It never really became a problem, but it certainly made me angry. After he died, I couldn't find a lawyer to sue the hospital and his surgeon for malpractice. They told me a jury wouldn't award enough to a ''domestic partner'' to make it worth their time.

As far as coming out as diabetic, I'd sometimes have to take insulin shots in front of coworkers (being as discrete as I could; but I work in a fast-paced industry and can't always step too far away). Also, before my pump, I would have to sometimes disclose that I HAD to go eat NOW, since the insulin I took 30 minutes ago in anticipation of getting to eat was now starting to make me pass out. After my pump, it would invariably go low or empty right when I was too busy to immediately stop the beeping. So those who didn't know would ask, ''what is that annoying beep?'' One of my directors used to joke, "He's gonna blow!" These days, I just get lectures every time i eat a cookie.

Permalink Reply by sammy on August 12, 2010 at 3:19am

I hate coming out stories, whenever we share stories in my lgbt group its people who either have really great stories where they got a hug and were completely accepted when they came out or then there is the ones who are disappointed with their coming out because there family didn't throw a party, well at least you wern't kicked out i always think! Then i have friends who won't come out for no good reason, they know there friends and family will accept it they are just too afraid. I find it hard to sympatise i'll admit. I just think being out is the only way to be for me, i was in a short documentary recently talking about coming out with a straight friend of mine.. anyway my coming out wasn't great, i think ive always been a lesbian, from a young age i was confussed and wanted to be a boy, i have the best photo of me 3 yrs old, dressed in my uncles shirt and wearing a hat that says 'female body inspector' lol. I came out to people at 17, i told a few friends first, one didn't talk to me after that i think she thought i fancied her, and when i told my mum she kicked me out, i told her before school one morning and she rang up the school and told the deputy principal she didn't want me coming home, i was talking to the guidance councellor at the time and when the deputy principal came to tell me this i lost it, they asked if i had anyone to stay with, i stayed with a friend who was very supportive, I remember i had no insulin when i got kicked out it was at home so a teacher brought me to the pharmacy, and they took me for hospital appointments to, anyway my friend and her family were happy for me to stay there, and her mum even told her younger sisters about my sexuality. The guidance councellor in school had put me in touch with an lgbt support group, though i wasn't old enough to go to the group at the time they had no youth group but i met up with the woman who ran it to chat a good few times and after i turned 18 they set up a younger group so i was the first member and now there is lots of us in the group. Thanks to some good friends and the lgbt suppost group i dealt with coming out. I ended up moving back home also, but that was because i ended up in hospital because i wasn't looking after the diabetes, the school got involved when i started not going in, and i told my mum and my sister what they wanted to hear i said i was going through a phase and i wasn't gay, i felt like that was the best thing to do, coming out in my last year of school wasn't a good idea i had exams to worry about something to keep my mind of other things, i'm in college now i'm a regular at the gay meetings, i like being involved in the group.

Permalink Reply by g0m3z on September 11, 2010 at 10:40pm

I was forced out of the gay closet by my ex boyfriends aunt. After being with him for years, and after encountering his controling and abusive ways, he was arrested and deported to Mexico on rape and attempted murder charges on me, his aunt told me that she was going to tell my family I was gay for doing that to him, so I decided I was going to tell my family before she could. My mother told me "duhhh. I already know." and my dad told me to bring my boyfriend (didn't have one) over for Christmas.

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 17, and kept myself in the closet about that until now. I finally told my mom and dad, and the rest of my family. You have to understand my mom to understand her reaction to this, it was the expected reaction from parents when kids tell them their gay, only it was when I told her I was diabetic. She was totally dumb to the situation and thought I had an old persons disease. :D

Permalink Reply by Kati * on September 12, 2010 at 2:37pm

queer: About three years ago, when I met my fiancee. She was my coming out story. I had always known, but was in denial/scared for years. When I met her, I put everything else aside and let everyone know. It didn't matter, I just wanted everyone to know that we were in love. We'll be getting married in CT in October and I couldn't be any happier. I come out only when I find it necessary, although several bumper stickers on my car out me everyday :) ...If my sexuality comes up in conversation it does, if not I don't make it an issue. If you want to be a part of my life, in one way or another, you'll eventually find out. Like it or not.Many of my friends accepted it (my co-workers are supportive as well), some family members didn't. It is what it is, if you really want me in your life you'll accept me as I am.

diabetic: I've had diabetes x11 years now. I was about 10 when I was diagnosed. All of my family members were aware due to my hospitalization and I told my friends like it was no big deal. It didn't bother me to have diabetes as a kid/teenager. Now that I'm a bit older and understand the consequences/effects of the disease there are days when I just want it to go away. I have no problem telling people I'm a diabetic. If I'm friends with someone I make sure to tell them just in case of an emergency. My fiancee was understanding and even helps me with my infusion set changes.

Permalink Reply by jconroy on September 15, 2010 at 3:51am

I only recently came out to my immeadiate family, after reading sammy's reply to this post "i have friends that won't come out for no good reason." When I read that something clicked in my head because I knew that my family is so open minded they really wouldn't have a problem with it, and if they did, they wouldn't let it affect us as a family. So I told my sister, "I'm gay," to which she replied, "You are what you are." Then I told my mom, who's opinion I worry about most, but also who asks me on a somewhat regular bases if I'm gay (I think she figured it out before I did). She had asked me again while we were in the car and I just said, "Yep, I'm gay," (quoted from one of my favorite Kym Berry songs. She said, "No way, really?" "Yes, mom, I'm gay." She proceeded to take a drink of my open soda, then said, "Shit, I can't catch gay from drinking after you, can I?" She's a funny lady. I flew out to see my dad in colorado, and told him and my stepmom together. My dad was happy for me, and said "I hope you have better taste in girls then you did in boys." He had a valid point. I made the mistake of telling them while we were drinking, and after my dad went to bed my stepmom (only 10 years older then me) snuck into my room and stuck her hand down my pants. It was awful and disgusting and I had to kick her out of my room. But we don't talk about that night, so its slowly disapearing from my memory. I didn't tell my family about that because who needs the drama. So, all in all, it was difficult for me to spit the words out, but I knew I was the only person holding myself back. I had to put a little faith in my family, and it was due because they were great.

I was diagnosed at 10 y/o, so everyone in the family knew about it. I downplayed my struggle with it to the world because I wanted to appear strong, and just wish I would have shared my stress and anxiety with d a little more. I think I would have been happier, and wouldn't have had to shoulder all of that burden by myself. I've gotten over that since growing up a little more, and since starting my blog and joining tudiabetes. When I meet new people, I pick and choose who I want to tell about being gay or diabetic. Some days I just don't want to appear any more "different" then the next person. Other days, I just don't feel like dealing with ignorance. But most days, I try to be an open book, and celebrate my differences.

Permalink Reply by SM Johnson on September 21, 2010 at 7:19pm

I love these stories. More please!

Permalink Reply by Theunha on April 29, 2011 at 12:54pm

I'm only out as gay towards a few friends, and 2 cousins. I am planning on telling my parents in the next week, but I first want to get my one sister on my side. I've wanted to tell them for quite some time (since I met my ex and first bf). but since that only lasted 3 weeks, i just never got the courage to tell my parents. I think and hope my dad will just accept it, as for my mom, I am terrified of her reaction even though I have no idea what it is going to be. but I've got my story in line, ready to tell them. I'm not gonna change and turn into a fairy/queen. I still want to go hunting and sleep next to the camp fire under the stars, and go fishing, and do all the stuff with my family. I just don't want a Girlfriend.

I've been a diabetic for 21 years, since age 2. so that is just like introducing myself, if I think it is something that you need to know, I'll say so straight(haha) from the beginning. if I'm never gonna see you again, there is no point in telling you.

Permalink Reply by Theunha on May 5, 2011 at 2:49pm

Update: I came out to my parents, sisters and brother-in-law. What a terrible experience! my mom freaked out completely, and broke down in tears, sobbing hysterically! my dad accepted it, told me he still loves me and is still proud to call me his son, and he knows I will be a success in my future. My sisters also took it really hard, my brother-in-law said he is cool with it, and he still treats me the same. he said he suspected something a while ago already. I'm just glad it is done and I never have to do it again!

Permalink Reply by CarbloverTX on May 9, 2011 at 3:06pm

hey there. Sorry things went so badly with your mom and sisters. Hopefully they are coming around.

Permalink Reply by Suzy on January 21, 2012 at 6:04pm

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 11. I find it odd that people 'come out' as a diabetic. The day I was diagnosed was the day it spread like wildfire (I was surprised to receive calls and 'get better' gifts within the first 24 hours of the diagnostic!) I never heard of diabetes before being diagnosed, but I knew it was important that my peers and teachers knew that I had it for my own personal benefit and safety. My beloved granny who recently passed away on Christmas had type 2 diabetes. I don't remember this, but apparently the day I was diagnosed, I had called her to let her know I was just like her!

Now as a queer. I never thought anything of my sexuality because it wasn't something that mattered to me. I was an obvious tom boy growing up and developed crushes on both sexes. When I was around the same age I was first diagnosed, women intrigued me! I had snooped into my sisters room to find her 'puberty' book I had so immaturely pretended I didn't care about or want to read (I wish I knew the name of it) but it had said just because you develop crushes on girls doesn't mean you are gay. So I figured it was normal. But it wasn't until I reached high school where kids use to torment my gay friend where all of a sudden I became a slight phobe! I did not know I liked girls and I feared rejection so I stayed away from all that gay talk. But when I was 16 and a girl admitted to liking me, and I knew I liked her. However, as a 16 year old, I was not thinking about sex so I had no idea if I was, you know, sexually into girls or guys or both. However, I went along and dated her. She was obviously PDA and it was something I DESPISED so that's how my peers found out (she couldn't respect me enough and stop being so touchy feely and it made me so extremely uncomfortable, we were in public for heavens sake).

There really rarely is a time where someone asks me if I am gay, but I don't feel like it's a necessary thing to announce. Who goes around saying 'I'm straight?'. I never felt it was something to broadcast. My dad ended up asking me after my moms persistent pleas for him to because she 'had to know for sure'. She was upset for 'lying to me' which I never felt I was, I knew she knew. Nonetheless, my parents are cool about it and support me and my current girlfriend. My cousins are cool with it and both my grandmothers are cool about it. I must say I am a lucky one.

I've had some selfish 'friends' get mad at me for not telling them I am lesbian (but I never got mad at them for not telling me they were straight? Let's get real here). The coming out process is actually difficult for me. I don't care that people know, but if people start asking about boyfriends, I get uncomfortable when I have to mention I date girls...haha! But to this day I get crushes on men; So the process in determining my sexuality is taking some time (and to this day, it remains unknown whether or not I like boys in such a manner!).

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