Hi, my son jacob is responsible about his D and struggles more with the emotional side of dealing with D. His biggest issue is being different and he has trouble sharing anything about his D with his friends. I think most of this is personality and age related, he is 14. I just feel so bad when I can't seem to find the right words to make him feel better. I think when anything is bothering him his D comes into it as part of a downward spirial. He is not "depressed" just expressing sadness, and my lame I know how you feel,I am here for you, you have this and that going for you ect. only makes him feel worse. Any good ideas on how to help? If I let him be he ussually comes around, I guess this is all part of growing up and dealing with all kinds of emotions, but when D seems to be the biggest player in his angst of course I feel bad and want to help. One major trigger is when he has to change his omnipod, it is a hastle it hurts and it reminds him of how dependent he is on his pump I guess. Oh and despite my suggestions he is not interested in joining tu, he wants to treat and pretend he is "normal". I would appreciate any words of wisdom!
you know i always value your imput zoe and would love to teleport over to your neck of the woods and enjoy all your nature! enjoy your weekend! amy
You can have some of my leftover snow if you want, Amy; I'm tired of parking my car at the bottom of the hill and walking up! You have a great weekend as well!
I love snow!!and the exercise is good for you!! ( how often do you get snow?) we new englanders seem to think we own snow, not really the case we had a bit after christmas but almost all melted now, the aftereffects of snow are worse than no snow at all. hang in there!
I love snow too. Sitting in my dome drinking cappuccino and watching the snow fall in the woods...lovely. Dragging groceries up an uneven icy hill...not so much..lol. But knowing I'm getting exercise is a good compensation. We usually get one good size storm in the winter and then just a couple inches here or there. This year our good sized storm was actually several medium storms every couple days for a week before Christmas. total accumulation about 2 feet.
I love New England...I think I've told you that before!
Hello Amy, I read all the suggestions that you were given and most seem like good ones to try. I tried to put myself in your spot because at any given time I could be there too. My son was diagnosed a little over 3 years ago, a couple months before his 14th birthday. My reaction to it, after all the private crying was to learn all I could from books, some support groups but mostly Tudiabetes was pivotal to me. Having the latest info, peoples personal feedback, and getting best technology for him was my way of helping and dealing with it. The way he has coped with it so far has been very well considering all the responsibilities he has related to his pump and cgm. He doesn't mine the pod changes so much (we have been very happy with Omnipod), but we usually do it before bed when it not interrupting is daily priorities, and maybe too tired to care about it much. Changing the Dexcom sensor is more annoying to him, but we try to keep them on as long as we can, taping when needed then he usually takes around a three-day break in between. I don't harp on him much, he takes corrections when needed when his cgm alerts him (his has a pretty tight range for alerts). Because of the cgm, I have been more lax about counting carbs and weighing food (we take a educated guess), but I think that helps take some stress out it. Nathan has school-friends he eats lunch with that see him deal with D and answers questions if asked and is open about it but much rather talk about video games! There are 7 others with Type 1 at his school, one I thought he was getting close to, but this year she is not in any of his classes, I was a little sad because I know she's nice girl, her mom's a teacher too. He hasn't been involved with the others. He is a big home body and I wish he put himself more out there to build friends he could invite over. I too wanted him to join TuD, and he said he might a couple summers ago, he never did and because I haven't been much involved here for a while either so I haven't pursued it. Happened to log on in December to find out the Dexcom G4 was out, in one week we had it, thanks TuD. I know he would like the comradeship with other teens if they had some the same other interests. He has been to a 4-day D winter camp a couple months after diagnoses but it was a great experience because he roomed with jerks. He took a friend to a D surf camp once that was more fun. Now he is a little too old to be involved in those now. Support groups that we have been to manage D very differently than us so we lost interest.
Anyway, good luck, sound like he was just going thru and frustrated time, I worry about burnout a little, but so far so good with us. If you want to friend me and tell us what your son's other interests are maybe we could get them on to connect with each other. My best. Emily :)
P.S. Smaller pods soon! Hooray!
thanks for your thoughtful reply emily. you were lucky that at 14 nathan was so responsible about his D, they say diag. during the teen years is the hardest and i would have to say there must be some truth to that. jacob was diag. at 10 still young enough be be under my wing, but old enough to understand everything. i think nathan and jacob have some similarities and suspect personality type plays into so much. with them both being basically introverted it takes the wild irresponsibility out of the equation and leads to i suspect a more compliant diabetic with more sense of personal responsiblity,along with the self conscious factor being higher! my thought if i joined a suport group as you suggest there would be a diverse group, diverse knowledge base, and sorry to say but a lot of noncomliant teens being discussed?? i feel that most people on tu because of their commitment to join and stick with online support are on the same page basically that is why i have "hung out" here so long. in anycase i would gladly friend you and maybe we can talk more about our boys! thanks again for the support! amy
I was wildly irresponsible when I was younger (literally, TONS of acidrock!) and, in some ways, it made me be more responsible with diabetes because I didn't want to kill everyone's buzz and wake up at the hospital still frying my brains out with BAC of .25 or whatever. I'm still missing part of my ear from an accident on a bike ride to go see the sun rise after one of those binges. I went to a support group the summer after freshman year of college and someone "fessed up" to having a fuzzy navel and said it made her pass out from hypoglycemia, which didn't square with my experiences.
I was a bit older than your kids when I was dx'ed (16) and was sort of relieved to get it squared away so I could get back in action. I'm wondering if he's 14, perhaps he doesn't need diabetes, but some sort of girl action [not trying to offend females but well, I vaguely recall being 14...] to get perked up? Not that you're not his favorite girl but well, you know? 14 can be sort of frustrating because you don't have a job, car, etc. that are sort of useful for establishing rapport in that realm at the same time you may be more aware of it than when you were 12? Diabetes is a huge drag but when I was 16, I was like "oh, ok, diabetes, thanks for the prescriptions" and went back to chasing girls around high school.
Hey acidrock, remember me, I hope so, extreme as your experiences have been, I think you are right in our case at least. I think a girlfriend would be a real boost for Nathan morale. He's a good looking kid, I think, but he just doesn't take risks to put himself out there. Maybe the girls these days can sense he's not the rebel type. I hate to say that was the kind I got involved with as a later teen, but that was cause I knew it would piss off my parents! Nathan doesn't have a problem with his home life and he has so much to offer. I tried to encourage him with the girl in his school that was type1, he got some "friend hugs" from her, but he said she had a boyfriend and this year she not in his classes. I think the only interaction they had this year is when his batteries died in his pump/meter and he found her to check on her meter so he could take a shot at lunch.
I have said the same thing to people about Nate, that he was dx'd young enough to take my instruction and old enough to understand why. As I learned new things, I was able to teach him. He now understands different factors that go into making a smart boluses. Yes, you are right, we are lucky that their personalities enable them manage their responsibilities well. He has never been sneaky with food, even when hungry and high, he knows he has alternatives. Yes the support groups and camps are diverse, most manage so differently, some dealing with highs higher that we normally see. The last meeting I went to even had the other extreme, the mom of a newly dx'd teen had her on a VERY low carb diet. She only needed a small basal shot. I debated with her a little, kindly wanting to learn more, but believing that I don't want my teen to be that different than other teens (he already eat 1/3 the carbs a normal teen already), I think that would lead to rebellion and resentment. He'll know that being more conservative with carbs makes D easier to predict, but that is decision he can make for himself.
Thanks for the add, talk to ya soon. Emily
This answer might already be written but he needs a support group. I am 38 and had diabetes since I was 11. One of my best friends is a T1 and this has been a great support to each other (she is in the picture with me). We have supported each other through college, after college, getting our pumps, through pregnancy. It make s a big difference. Also I really enjoy this website... especially when I realized that are people doing it longer and successfully. That was really hard for me to imagine before this.