Hi, my son jacob is responsible about his D and struggles more with the emotional side of dealing with D. His biggest issue is being different and he has trouble sharing anything about his D with his friends. I think most of this is personality and age related, he is 14. I just feel so bad when I can't seem to find the right words to make him feel better. I think when anything is bothering him his D comes into it as part of a downward spirial. He is not "depressed" just expressing sadness, and my lame I know how you feel,I am here for you, you have this and that going for you ect. only makes him feel worse. Any good ideas on how to help? If I let him be he ussually comes around, I guess this is all part of growing up and dealing with all kinds of emotions, but when D seems to be the biggest player in his angst of course I feel bad and want to help. One major trigger is when he has to change his omnipod, it is a hastle it hurts and it reminds him of how dependent he is on his pump I guess. Oh and despite my suggestions he is not interested in joining tu, he wants to treat and pretend he is "normal". I would appreciate any words of wisdom!
Yes apparently depression is a "side effect" of diabetes. Every time I went to the clinic for a Diabetes check-up, they'd ask "Are you sad" like I was supposed to be or something. Um, no. And for a time they handed me a survey with an assortment of 'depressing questions' which I soon discovered a)don't think anyone reads them,since I stopped turning them in b)surveys stopped Im guessing because their funding stopped
I know for some: activities like biking & sports or whatever are supposed to a help with our moods.
Get 'em involved in some fun activities, hobbys or sports?
This isn't quite advice, but a remark on my limited experience with young people (early twenties) with type I. I met the first two long before I was diagnosed, and the third before I was on insulin.
1. A pretty, cheerful young lady who gave the impression of being in perfect health, and who somehow got involved of telling me the story of how, as a child, she learned to inject herself.
2. A young man who was studying in the same place I was. (He was by far the best student there, but that is totally irrelevant.) Once, in the kitchen where we drank coffee, I found a strange-looking object. Two of our fellow students were chatting there, and I asked them what and whose it was, and they said that it was something of So-and-so's. I went to return it to him, and he thanked me, but he said it doesn't matter, that it was an insulin pen and he gets them free when he buys the insulin. He did add, though, that he ought to be more careful about losing them, because they might frighten someone. Note that he was so casual about the whole thing that he used to inject himself in the kitchen, where people were walking in and out all the time.
3. I know slightly a young lady with an insulin pump who occasionally helps her mother out in the shop, so I run into her. She wears the pump outside of her clothes, but I never noticed it until she and her mother made some joke about it in my presence. As far as I understand from her mother, her great (overwhelming) interest in life is her acting career, and her only problem in life is the possibility of conflict between here acting career and the religious opinions which the three of us have in common. She is always so cheerful and optimistic about life and the universe that I'm tempted to strangle her; nobody should be that cheerful and optimistic.
The big point about these three is that they don't care about being normal; they simply are normal (except maybe for the cheerfulness of the third). In other words, it's quite likely that he will learn to adapt, and realize that socially, diabetes doesn't have to be a big deal.
thanks for sharing, nice stories about some amazing people, that is the way it should be leading with your heart and bright spirit not your broken pancreas or all our other combinations of brokenness and bad experiences! on a positive note he had friends up this weekend and he maturely brought up his D, tested and bolused in front of them and carried on with their fun, neither friend judged, they asked some quick questions and continued to like jacob for jacob! his mood has been less heavy since hoping for more good moments on his journey into adulthood!
If you feel that it would benefit your son, please check out my blog at http//www.whoneedsbetacells.blogspot.com
I am an eighteen year old freshman in college and started a blog as part of a scholarship program! I have had T1D since I was 7 and in my blog, focus on everything that Diabetes doesn't stop me from doing!
I hope this can be of help to y'all!
hi ashley, thanks for your concern and support, i checked out your site, so glad diabetes does not define who you are and are following your dreams! best wishes, amy
Tell him to watch this with you and then share your feelings with your son. It might make you both believe that things are okay just the way they are.
thanks so much! jacob loves coffee so i think he will like this, i will check out the website this came from as i love this type of thing and like to share with friends, it is through stories like this that we see how simple things should be and how everything really is ok! thanks for the warm sentiments! blessings, amy
I was diagnosed T1 when I was 14. I was a sophomore in high school and I missed about 2 months of school because of it. It was really tough, and sometimes it still is. But, it gets better. I don't have any miraculous words that make it all better, and I can't tell him or anyone else that it is always easy, but I can tell him that as time goes on, things do get better. He will find people who accept him for who he is, despite medical concerns and that as he grows up, he will care less about what people think.
Diabetes is a life long thing, unfortunately, we don't outgrow it. What I had to learn is that I have diabetes, diabetes does not have me. I control the disease by refusing to allow the disease to control me. But it's also okay to get frustrated to feel like giving up. I don't know a single diabetic who has not felt that at least once. I hope your son can realize that diabetes doesn't have to define who he is a person, and that he is ultimately the one in control of his life and his disease.
thanks for the good advise jamie, i think he is on his way up, as you know with D the path is rocky, thank goodness he likes to hike! amy
So I been diabetic for 11 years now. Got it when I was 11. Honestly, pretty much anything you or anybody else says is most likely going to go in through one ear and out the other. I spent about 2 years in denial and being totally p***** off at the world, my doctor, myslef. It was horrible. Being 11 years old and not being able to eat cake and ice cream at a friends bday party, having to try to explain to ignorant and very mean kids (kids are meaner than we think)and still having to count carbs, exercise, check your bg several times a day. Its tough but basically the way I got over it was by seeing other very ill people with diabetes. It may sound harsh but what woke me up was when a nurse gave me a hospital tour after falling into DKA for about the 7th time. You see diabetics with no feet or even their whole legs. I saw people had to go thru dialysis everyday. It was so sad n scary. Thats when I realized things could always be worst. You should never take life for granted. It is a gift. Life will never put you through things you cannot handle. Theyre simply tests. One last thing to make him laugh, I remember a counselor at diabetes camp once told me: Were going to start a petition. The new name for diabetes will be LIVABETES ;) hope this helps some
so glad you found your way niela, you have a great attitude, thanks for sharing! amy
I am so looking forward to the chat this Friday..for just this reason and to gain some understanding..From one mom to another <3 http://www.tudiabetes.org/events/live-interview-with-dr-william-pol...