Met with my endo last week and told me all the obvious...I'm depressed, I'm not checking my BG enough and I need to take control.

I know what I need to do! Sometimes it's sooooo hard. I'm T1. I'm on a pump and have a CGM. I was not testing as much, because I was counting on my CGM to help me; WRONG, according to my Dr. 4 times isn't enough...maybe 10 is perfect.

I have nerve problems in my back in now my shoulder, going down my arm.

Today, I just feel like curling up in my bed and never leaving it! Anyone ever feel this way? I sick of dealing with this disease!!! A constant worry about if I will wake up, are people hearing my dexcom vibrating at work all the time?, will my husband stand by my side or get sick of dealing with bells and whistle going off every night?

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Be thankful your only depressed today. I can't stand getting up any day.The fact is the disease blows big time. It sucks the living life right out of your life. You have to have a great disposition to have a chance to cope with it as it's just not an acceptable way to live IMO. If an endo told me I have to check my sugar ten times a day I'd tell him to go F**** himself. To think it really just boils down to a treatment keeping the levels as stable as a non diabetic at all times and the battle is virtually over. I admit defeat and have acknowledged for a long time my existence is virtually doomed unless they can get just one of these potential therapies commercialized. Honestly I find it far more bizarre to hear people not depressed living like this then are depressed. Sorry if I didn't say anything to help you but don't even remotely think your alone. Support the Faustman Lab!

Oh my I will say your honesty is refreshing. Sometimes it's great to peel away all the cheerleader rah rahs in response to "I hate being diabetic." That said, we are stuck with it. And though some days it's necessary to pull covers over our heads, I still like life and will do whatever ever is necessary to live it...even with this sucky disease.

Why wouldn't you test your sugar 10 times/ day? I'd argue that's not enough to actually "fill in the blanks" with enough data to fix your BG levels. If you don't test enough, then it would be impossible for you to testify that all of your travails are diabetes' fault. An expert would make mincemeat out of that suggestion. Not that there's anyone to sue but if say you axemurdered someone and tried to blame it on the D, you would not be able to support that particular contention.

The war is *never* over but you can only fight one battle at a time. All of our existences are doomed

I'll test 20 times a day when the non-invasive meters come out! My control is not the problem. How do you explain getting symptoms of extreme high glucose at a fasting reading of 105? No I am not exaggerating. I woke up the other morning with pressure in my hands and head, buzzy, flu like symptoms, complete irritability like I haven't eaten in weeks. I don't need to check my sugar 10 times a day cause I can always feel it. Today again... similar symptoms plus cotton mouth at a 135 BS. Took 2 units and took a while but symptoms eventually subsided. Anyone can say whatever they want that its mental and whatever.. but I have a very unique problem. I am basically getting severe symptoms of high BS at the higher end of normal levels. I had a 58 sugar this afternoon and though I didn't feel perfect I felt way better then at 105. What in gods name can someone do for my situation? I am so sick and tired of dealing with this s***. My only chance is either a cure or its another endocrine problem that somehow is only present when my sugars are over 90.

I don't think there's an endocrinological explanation as the krew here has veterans of thyroid, several types and subtypes of diabetes, hashimotos, depression and other conditions with no other reports of this level of what would likely be described as "subjective complaints" since medical science hasn't duplicated your results in a different experiment?

Soooo... I have this major problem that technically shouldn't be happening yet it is. My dad also has diabetes and unless he gets real low he feels nothing. He could be 120, 160, 250, 300 and can't tell a thing. That makes no sense to me either but my scenario is far more bizarre and far more of a problem because lets face it if I only really feel well between 80 and 90 fasting that is completely unrealistic no matter how many times I would test. I need my own insulin production back the way it was before this nightmare occurred.

Your scenario is unique in the annals of the two message boards I've hung out at. I don't believe that there's anything in the medical literature about it either or someone would have posted links to it in the numerous threads about the situation.

Admittedly, I am by no means scientific but I haven't seen anyone else complain about 90s. Although I'll fret about a post hypo 90 if like 1 test is 75 and 15 minutes later it's 98 I would be concerned I'd overtreated and go walk the dog or something like that? Plus walking the dog is fun, I can do "the dog voice" and get out of my head for 30 seconds while she's talking to me, etc. It's more fidgety for me though and I don't beat myself up or get bummed out about it, even if it shoots up higher. C'est la vie and while tactical solutions are possible, waiting for researchers seems like a futile strategic solution.

So what is the game plan chief? I certainly can't wait around for another ten years for a medical breakthrough If I even make it another ten years. This is a serious problem even more serious then the diabetes itself. IYO should I realistically be able to have an 80 glucose level feeling perfect and grab a few chips shooting me up to 120 and not feel a thing? In my world that is not realistic. The even stranger part is I really don't feel any worse at 300 per say then 110.

Let's see, I've suggested testing more and, elsewhere, abandoning cereal which I vaguely recall you mentioning you eat several times/ day.

With more data, we might be able to help you reduce your SD so you are not swinging. Just grabbing a few chips (depending on the year/ make/ model...) could easily crank you to 120 depending on the other factors involved but you don't usually spell out the whole scenario for us, only "my BG is 110 and I'm miserable". I get edgy at 110 sometimes to but I fix it. I don't want to tell you what to fix or not to fix without more information but I can only guess at a fix at this point and, for me, the place to start is by getting rates and ratios as close to "reality" as I can, by eating conservatively for a few days. Same input, same output, what happens to the BG from something moderate. If it's off, then figure out which insulin is off. Then, once the rates and ratios are "pegged", eat some cereal and see how it works. Maybe develop a new approach or whatever? It is a constant science experiment. Maybe Ginger Viera's book would help you conceptualize an approach that, even if the results were similar, would distract you enough that it wouldn't bug you so much? Running did that for me but not everyone is going to spend 3 years working out to get in shape for a 5K and then 4 more years after that, 3-4 times/ week, every week? If you think diabetes sucks, find something you hate more (like running?) and say "well, diabetes sucks but AT LEAST I'M NOT RUNNING!!" and be happy about that?

But your BG won't start "spiking" from chips for like an hour or two. You talk about "symptoms" but the complaints are 1) likely to be largely subjective and 2) are hitting *before* the chips would actually have elevated your BG? Another possibility, is that w/ carb-intensive food like cereal that your BG is running up really high and then crashing so with less frequent tests you "feel like crap" at 120, 2-3 hours later but what happened might be that at 1 hour, the Cheerios had you up to 220 but the large, appropriately carb counted "spike" nosedived thereafter so you get two points in the "normal" range without documentation of the wild ride to "normal"?

I did this *a lot* before I got my pump and, when I'd test a lot and see spikes, I'd knock them down w/ IV R shots that would drop me from 300 to 70 in about 1/2 hour but, of course, necessitate more eating on the back end. Maybe what your experiencing isn't quite that whacky but I dunno what else to recommend other than more testing and consideration of what you are eating. If your ratios are a little bit off, I think that it's much harder to get smoother curves that are usually what I get when I feel the best. I'll admit that I didn't feel as well as I do now, although perhaps self-medicating with booze was a way around that? "I'm low, I'll have a margarita [tequila w/ a splash of mix= low carb] and figure out how to play 'Hotel California' on my guitar..." had it's moments too.

It may also be that your interest/ bias in the "issue" of diabetes in general has fried your brain into manufacturing the symptoms? That's total speculation on my part as, other than a couple of college classes, I generally avoid psychology because I am, as it were, nuttier than a fruitcake myself and prefer to deny feelings and emotions and focus on odd things in the shimmering distance, playing guitar (and getting blasted...) for years, often reading (and getting blasted...books to go with music and booze to go with both...) and now all the running stuff, which is, similarly, a huge endorphin *buzz*. Although I'm sure my doctor approves of it more than the other stuff. Oh wait, I forgot to tell her about that...

I know you like to joke around about this stuff to try and lighten bad scenario's up but this is really no joke. Just another example... If say I am at a fasting sugar of 95 which is around my threshold of too high and I eat a few chips or in essence anything that will increase my glucose within seconds I'll feel the spike and basically get all the symptoms of high sugar as I explained but If I were to take a shot of humalog before eating and wait a few minutes I usually won't feel anything disturbing. I would bet 90% of the people on this board if they took a random sugar that read 120mgdl would feel absolutely fine when I took one last week 2hrs post shot and meal and had all the typical symptoms I get of extreme high BS. I'm not trying to be a smart ass but I have really yet to take a fasting glucose reading that has been post 100 where I don't feel physically and mentally disturbed. It's bad enough how awful I feel but at virtually being at numbers that basically within normal range is the icing on the cake. The more I read about hyperglycemia the contention is most people don't really start having symptoms until they are over 250 is baffling to me. Constant urination and dry mouth which are the most common symptoms of highs though annoying are not life altering symptoms. The stuff I get is and all it takes is being at the higher end of normal.

What I am guessing is probably most of the time I am feeling an instant spike my sugar is either already out of range or close to out of range and adding more carbs is just making it worse. It's so bizarre that one minute I feel rather fine and eating something that may elevate my sugar a few points can be disaster unless I am low. Like I said the other night I had my cereal and felt relatively fine 1 hr post injection and meal. I was hanging out with my dog who loves peanuts so being she usually sleeps with me when I give her peanuts I took a few for myself and literally within seconds I felt the spike and got irritable. I just didn't want to deal with getting up and taking a test so I eventually just fell asleep. I woke up the next morning feeling kind of the same way but just more groggy. I checked the sugar that morning and it was 105. Certainly felt much higher. I took 1 unit of humalog and stayed feeling horrible for about an hour or so. Then I eventually started feeling better. One unit lowers me about 25 points. So I should have been back to around 80 even though I didn't test to confirm. Today at around 11am I check and was 129 three hours post injection (R) and about 1.5 hours post cereal. I was working rather physically so despite the fact that I felt not great I left it alone. Rechecked one hour later and was down to 54. Ate about 15 grams and felt fine. I am trying to give you some scenarios even though you nor anyone else will probably figure out why this is happening.




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