Met with my endo last week and told me all the obvious...I'm depressed, I'm not checking my BG enough and I need to take control.

I know what I need to do! Sometimes it's sooooo hard. I'm T1. I'm on a pump and have a CGM. I was not testing as much, because I was counting on my CGM to help me; WRONG, according to my Dr. 4 times isn't enough...maybe 10 is perfect.

I have nerve problems in my back in now my shoulder, going down my arm.

Today, I just feel like curling up in my bed and never leaving it! Anyone ever feel this way? I sick of dealing with this disease!!! A constant worry about if I will wake up, are people hearing my dexcom vibrating at work all the time?, will my husband stand by my side or get sick of dealing with bells and whistle going off every night?

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I have to argue w/ Anna Banana and Gary's suggestion "I'd tell the endo to go %$*@ himself if he tells me to test 10x/day". I believe that 12x/ day is pretty much the bare minimum. Although Anna could perhaps opt out of a few by virtue of not driving? I don't actually test before I drive to work most of the time but use some extra strips to fill in the blanks or fix stuff that gets off, which is not *BAD*, it's just extra tests to make sure corrections are ok or the Dulce de Leche Cheerios weren't too carby or whatever. Nothing UNREASONABLE...

1) wake up, test bg
2) before eating test BG
3) before driving to work test bg
4) 2 hours after eating test bg
5) lunch test BG
6) 2 hours post lunch test bg
7) drive home test BG
8) get home, run 3 miles...oh wait, don't forget to test your bg!
9) post-exercise maybe, maybe not, maybe eat dinner and, you guessed it, test BG
10) 2 hours post BG, test BG ****AGAIN****
12) stay up late? Maybe squeeze in another one, what if you have errands to run, what if you want to exercise more (when it's nicer out, I'll run 6-7 miles during the week, more on the weekends...a lot of times, I'll run a long run on Saturday and then a 20ish mile bike ride for fun, speed and recovery on Sunday...there's several extra strips in there...).

I am with you...I test like a maniac , especially before I get behind the wheel. Today I had to run my son to the hospital..Felt fine but I checked and my sugar was 70..So, called ambulance for my son and had to eat before I left!!

I absolutely agree. I am always floored when my doctor kind of hints that I'm testing too much -- and I'm not testing nearly as often as you to, AR, nor am I testing as much as I know I should. If you're exercising, eating, driving, etc. and injecting insulin (hello? then ten is a nice round number.

I totally agree with you acidrock23. Yesterday I tested 9 times. And that's me on a normal day. When I am training for a race I can get up to 15 times. It's the only way to know what is going on. I test if I'm thirsty, have a head ache, feel tired, before every meal, before bed every night (need to make sure I'll wake up), once I get up. I mean the list goes on.
Gary can go and tell his endo whatever he likes, but I prefer to live without complications such as kidneyfailure, blindness, infections etc. If Gary doesn't want to test that's his choice - but it's certainly not good advice.

I did not read through all the posts, but have comment. I have been in the same place--sometimes it is just hard to get over. A few years ago, I got really down--I mean realllllly down. I pulled myself up, did a lot of research and decided I needed help. Found a therapist who deals specificallywith lifelong, uncurable disease, OH! Diabetes! She was fantastic. Can I tell you what happened? Perspective, mostly. Less of a "why am I such a bad D?" Who has control? (ME!) Etc.

I have talked about this in many posts. Was it hard to make this step? YES! At the time I had D for over 45 years (have recently hit the 50 year mark), so, yea, it was hard to admit that I needed this help. But it was really worth it. I highly recommend therapy--but be careful who you see; do your research. It is definately worth the time.

If you don't mind, where are you? I am in the D.C. area, so if you want a referral, please let me know.

Oh, and yes. I test 10 to 12 times per day. It just helps a lot. I was in a meeting today and my CGM buzzed. Said I was 69 (just below my low threshold of 70.) Tested and wa 43. Without testing, well, let's see...sirens, papamedics (OK, if they are cute, but...)

Test. Test. and Test again. Sorry, but it is the real truth.

Oh you poor thing! We all have miserable days. It's the nature of the beast. It's been a couple of days since you posted this, so I hope you're feeling better now.

What's wrong with taking a "you" day? Lie in bed, cry and feel sorry for yourself. Eventually you'll be out of tears, and probably exhausted from all that self-pity. Then make yourself a cup of tea, maybe draw a hot bath, with your favourite book. Indulge in making yourself feel good. No one else can do it for you. Then, when you're feeling better, you can come up with a plan to improve. Then you'll feel empowered and ready to conquer the world!

Sending positive vibes your way ;)

I am relatively new to this whole life and I just recently got on my pity pot. I am feeling the same way. I don't want to get out of bed but then, I get scared thinking if I don't eat, my sugar will bottom out. SO, I drag my ass out of bed and hope that today won't be a day of chasing sugars up/down. I was afraid of my husband getting fed up but I have to say, the one day, he saw me crying. Just sitting on the bed crying and I told him I just couldn't do it. He looked at me like I had 3 heads and said , "You can't do what? Live?" After that day, I suddenly realized that really those are my choices..Life or Death. Hey, if I get that much control, then I choose to live. I also have to say that my husband decided to live my life for one day. Naturally, he didn't make it past noon but he understood where I am coming from. I hope you feel better and I hope you find your inner strength. I don't know why we were given this life altering condition but apparently a higher power greater than us thinks WE can handle it. I know we are all destined for greatness and maybe this is our time to shine!!! Love, Peace and Broccoli--jujube

Hi Gary. I think acidrock was suggesting that you eat less cereal.

Cereal really does spike your blood sugar, esp. cold cereal. Couldn't you substitute salads and meat? If cooking is a problem, it is possible to buy these items already assembled and give them a try.

I eat a lot of high glycemic carbs but honestly there is no correlation to any specific food that I eat that makes me feel horrible over anything else. The key to eating higher glycemic foods is only eat them when you are on the lower side and wait at least 15 min after injection so the insulin gets closer to its peak. I eat cereal every night before bed and that is when I generally feel the best and have the most stable levels. I would never eat anything high glycemic unless my sugar is on the low end of normal. Being between 70-80.

Little late in on this thread, but I wanted to tell you that I have had Major Depressive Disorder since I was a child. Diabetes is a comparative latecomer, but the 2 together are REALLY bad news.

When I am big-time depressed (and even WITH anti-depressants, I have rough times), my diabetes control goes all to hell. I start craving carbs and sweets, AND have trouble convincing myself to take my insulin. Bad combination. Good way to kill myself. :-(

I do have a therapist, and we have come up with some ways to deal with those overpowering urges. In MY case, since I KNOW I binge, I made a deal with myself that I can binge all I want AS LONG AS I take insulin and monitor to make sure my BG doesn't go too high. A little high is OK, because I don't need the pressure of striving for perfection, but over 250-300 is just NOT acceptable. Setting that numerical goal really helped me get a handle on it.

I don't know what the pressures are in your case, nor how you deal with the depression, but it might be helpful to have even a couple of sessions with a therapist to determine whether you actually are clinically depressed, and to analyze what your specific behavioral barriers are, and what would help you slog through the depression.

For me, the permission to binge if necessary really DOES make me feel better emotionally, even though I know it's not healthy eating, and I can make myself physically sick doing it. And yes, it IS hard to control BGs when bingeing, but the goal is not perfection; it's just to keep myself out of the hospital. The depression DOES pass, and I DO get back in control, but when I'm really depressed, the rules just need to be bent.

What I'm trying to communicate to you is to be proactive about finding ways to DEAL with the depression -- what your endo said absolutely doesn't matter -- what matters is for you to find the energy to stay alive every day until the depression passes. If you want to try antidepressants, you can -- they help me, but each person is different. I have the world's best therapist, but the second best may be hiding in your neck of the woods if you want to avail yourself of their services. Also, therapists vary widely, and if the first one you consult doesn't fit your needs, try another. It took me 4 tries to find this one, and I'm glad I persevered!

Please keep talking to us -- and remember, every day is a brand spankin' new one!


I really appreciate your response, here, Natalie. I, too, have had major depression for decades, since childhood, and learned to manage it as best I can. Adding D into the mix is no fun at all. It's good to hear how you and others have worked to deal with it in positive ways. We need to encourage each other to hang in there and find ways to manage that make positive differences in our lives. Too much focus on how dreadful it is to be depressed and how hopeless life with D is just drags everyone deeper into the Slough of Despond for no useful purpose. Thank you for emphasizing practical, realistic strategies.




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