Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Melitta on September 5, 2011 at 12:30pm

Natalie, this is some great advice, thanks.

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Permalink Reply by Annette on September 6, 2011 at 9:30am

Taking insulin is not a everyday habit for me, taking insulin just doesnt come natural to me. Im so frustrated by the fact that other people in the world without diabetes dont have to do as much as someone with diabetes. I know that their are people in the world with worse things to deal with on a daily basis, but having to take blood sugars and count carbohydrates is the most irritating thing in the world!!! Its all just too time consuming and frustrating!

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Permalink Reply by Natalie ._c- on September 6, 2011 at 9:55am

It was not a habit for me when I was diagnosed and put on insulin more than 17 years ago. But habit be darned, I want to LIVE. And feel good. And it can't be done without insulin.

And I absolutely DON'T compare myself with others. You don't begin to know what troubles they're REALLY dealing with in their lives, because they're just not showing you. Feeling suicidal 24/7 is MUCH worse than taking insulin. Having a severe peanut allergy, and never knowing when someone is going to tell you something is peanut-free when it really isn't -- knowing that you could die suddenly from anaphylactic shock is MUCH worse. Being in pain CONSTANTLY from spinal degeneration is MUCH worse.

Time to accept the hand you were dealt -- you can't change that, but you sure can change the way you play it!

I do understand that you are frustrated, but you can't just whine and not do anything about it. I've been there and done that, and it's NOT worth it. You HAVE to keep looking for ways to make things better!

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Permalink Reply by Annette on September 6, 2011 at 10:01am

Their is nothing in my life right now that is telling me that things will get better.....I dont see the positives. As for whining and complaining all the time, I dont see any good enough reason to take the insulin.

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Permalink Reply by A. Barney on November 6, 2011 at 7:54pm

I too was in a boat similar to yours. I was not taking my insulin at all. I would go months without even testing my sugar. It wasn't until I was unconscious for nearly 20 hours and brought back from a sugar level at 5 mg/dl by paramedics that I found my new view on life. As with addicts to drugs and alcohol, I had to hit a rock bottom before I made a change in my life. I was trying to die, using drugs, alcohol, tobacco. Anything I knew of to speed up my process of dying, i tried. I soon found that I couldn't do it. One night my friends and I bought a bunch of heroin and decided we were going to get high off of it for the first time. they all drew up and shot it up. Knowing I wanted to end my life, I did 3 times as much as they did hoping I would OD. The next morning 3 of them were dead and the 2 of us that survived went even deeper into depression not knowing why they died and we were still here. The depression soon became an even larger reason for my drug use. Trying to get away from the darkness and hopefully dying. All of the things I have done never got the job done. All they did was further complicate an already complicated life. It is really up to you, and until you decide your life is worth it, it wont be to you. IF you actually want help, there are many of us out here that will listen :D

Permalink Reply by Annette on November 6, 2011 at 8:53pm

Honestly Barney.....Our situations are not simuliar. I dont do drugs of any kind and I dont drink at all....yes I dont take blood sugars as i should, but I am always recieving insulin on a constant basis........But your right i dont think that life is worth it right now....I dont see any GOOD reason to take blood sugars regularly or anything else to take better care of myself........I have never tried to kill myself, i have been in the hospital 3-4 times in the past 5 years, but its not enough. Your right maybe I have not hit rock bottom yet......

Permalink Reply by A. Barney on November 7, 2011 at 5:34pm

You may believe our situations are not similar, But the Denial and Depression are what I was getting at that were "Similar". I had nothing to live for, my life was going no where but in debt. Honestly, no one is going to be able to sway the way you are thinking other than yourself. You could find the best therapist on the planet, and if you yourself do not choose to change, then nothing will. I hope the best for you and sincerely apologize for stating I was in a similar situation.

Permalink Reply by Annette on November 7, 2011 at 6:16pm

I didnt mean to get upset Barney, my depression makes me very sad and higly irritated.....I wish you the best

Permalink Reply by Annette on September 6, 2011 at 9:32am

Also I have been seeing various therapists since I was 18 years old, and no one is helping me.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on September 6, 2011 at 10:13am

I've heard many people say that, Annette, until they found the right therapist and/or the right combination of meds. Different medications work better for different people. I can't tell you how many people I've seen give up after the first medication and dose tried. Unfortunately part of Depression is feeling nothing will work, so they don't stick around for other options.

Therapists too are very individual. The person who is right for you may not be the same person who is right for the next person. My suggestion is to make a list of what you want in a therapist. Perhaps you've seen someone in your experience who had something you liked (but were lacking something else). Note down the quality you liked. Then try and find someone to match your needs. Most therapists will give you a free first session and will be open to you "interviewing" them to see if it is a good match. Some of the qualities to look for: Do you prefer male or female? Does age matter? Do you want someone directive or non-directive? (someone who gives lots of input or someone who mainly just listens). Do you have a particular model of treatment (such as cognitive behavioral) you like (or don't like). Do you look for warmth of personality or for professional expertise? What are the issues you want to cover? Do you want to delve into childhood issues or focus on day to day experiences? How much a part of the therapy should diabetes play? Do you want someone experienced with treating diabetics or other chronic conditions; do you really want someone with Type 1 diabetes themselves? (Harder to find, but not impossible). These are just a few of the issues, you may have your own list.

Again two points: I have heard innumerable people say things like "I didn't know how much better I could feel until I got the right treatment". And saying "nobody and nothing can help me" is a symptom of Depression. You just need to put forth a small modicum of hope and openness to let in the support and help you so deserve.

As for money/insurance - yes that is a real obstacle, but since your mood affects everything in your life from your happiness to your physical well-being, can you afford not to do something? Your A1C is dangerously high and, speaking frankly, your health is very much at risk. You are right, it would be a very prolonged and painful suicide, so you have to face yourself and decide if there is just one small part of you that does want to live. There are ways around this obstacle. What resource(s) do you use to pay for your Diabetes treatment? Most insurance provides at least some mental health treatment. There are also clinics with either sliding scales or no cost services (such as County Behavioral Health organizations). What resources are provided by the university you attend? Finally, if you are interested in someone with Type 1 diabetes, your local branch of the JDRF might have resources to suggest. As a Type 1 diabetic I would be willing to see someone for very little cost because it is a situation close to my heart; I'm sure other Type 1's feel the same.

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Permalink Reply by Annette on September 6, 2011 at 10:32am

I dont think I want to live....theirs nothing to look forward to. I dont know what I want....

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on September 6, 2011 at 4:07pm

If you're feeling that way, Annette, and you are actually making plans to do something about it, you need to contact the Suicide Prevention Hotline in your area immediately! We don't want to lose someone to conditions that we know can be treated!

If it is just a feeling, then it is all the more reason to get diagnosed and treated if you have Major Depressive Disorder. Feeling hopeless, and like there is nothing to look forward to is very much a symptom of Depression. Please stop coming up with reasons why it won't work, and get yourself some help. I was a bit confused because first you talked about not wanting help and then you said you have a therapist currently. Even if you are thinking of switching therapists, you should talk with him or her about these feelings. That's what they are there for.

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