Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Roxanne on March 24, 2010 at 5:21am

I have had T1 for 17 years. I was diagnosed at age 8. I've always had decent a1c's. But, what scares me the most, is the real "ghosts of lows past". You know, the things you can't remember. When I was a teenager, I did the "typical" rebellion thing. I hated diabetes for picking me. I didn't want anyone to know I had it. I was so ashamed to be different. I would, apparently, act really silly and do things that were not like me. I would be low and nobody knew that I wasn't being silly or crazy, I needed help! I have blacked out for entire evenings, while out as a teenager. What happened? I'm always afraid that that ghost will come out to haunt me in the future.

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Permalink Reply by Tim on March 24, 2010 at 7:24am

Over the past 30 years I've had some bad stuff happen... DKA Coma at initial diagnosis and weeks in the hospital recovering. ER trips and 911 calls for hypos, etc. I've had some scary hypos that didn't turn into an ER trip but were not fun events either. I remember one time my bg was so low my two eyes wouldn't point in the same direction. Other times I've had mini-seizures while still semi-conscious. Scary stuff for me. And I'm sure for my wife too.

If anything when I think of those "bad" events I actually wear them as a badge of honor. I'm not happy that they happened but I now know that they aren't the end of the world and I survived them.

I've had a zillion doctor visits and a bazaillion individual bg tests in the meantime. I do have a certain amount of doctor anxiety but when I'm done with the checkup I'm happy that I'm still around. You've been at this 40 years so you must get the same congratulations from all the docs who are surprised that a T1 is still around and kicking and doing pretty good (if not perfectly... we're never perfect.)

What bothers me more is the constant worrying about bg all the time. Some days I feel like I'm hypo even when I'm not. Other times I'm worrying that because of hypo unawareness maybe I'm low and and I just don't feel it. That really drives me nuts.

So overall it's not the individual events that bother me, but a more vague worry about what I don't know at the present, and about the future.

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Permalink Reply by Stuart on March 29, 2010 at 4:20pm

Heck no, they want blood and more blood, CLEARLY there must be something "wrong" being from my generation of diabetics. They do not offer congradulations... I would love it if they did....

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Permalink Reply by Brunetta on April 4, 2010 at 3:02am

I get the "You don't have complications? Your eyes are fine!! No kidney damage You are not fat!! Your heart and cholesterol levels are fine!!! Come look at the woman still living and not deteriorating with 42 years diabetes!!" Sounds like a circus sideshow.
I get this mostly from medical personnel in hospitals I have gone to have tests done; and on my infrequent hospitalizations or for ER visits for non-diabetic issues, such as a rib contusion from a tumble down a flight of stairs a month ago). I have had ER doctors and some nurses tell me they have NEVER met a healthy long-term diabetic and they are amazed...

God BLess,
Brunetta

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Permalink Reply by Doris D on April 4, 2010 at 4:05am

Uhg NO! I've been a Type 1 now for 36 of my 47 years and some of the bad stay with me but now I laugh at them........Like the time I passed out and seized in jury duty. Guess who they NEVER called back? Or the time I passed out and seized in a Kroger! The hospital has gotten to know me so well that one time I had passed out and my husband came in, the lady working the ER looked at him and said "Your wife is in (whatever room). I had a sleep over years ago for my daughters ended up passing out (yes seized) and woke up to 9 little girls giving me Gluagon! Testing did help (when they came out with it) but it just happens to me alot without warning. ( I've had it so long that I get no warning now when I start falling etc usually passing out with a seizer involved!)

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Permalink Reply by Cyrise on April 5, 2010 at 5:35am

Hi Doris, I am sorry to hear that you have seizures. I am assuming they are from lows? I was wondering, do you use a CGM? Your daughters sound like very smart, capable girls! I wish you well, and hope you have a good day today!

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Permalink Reply by JamieN on April 5, 2010 at 7:18am

Over the last 20 years, my "past events", particularly lows, are remembered like one remembers snippets of a bad dream right after you wake up. But they don't go away. I'll get that 'bad dream' memory flash, sometimes perhaps a memory trigger like walking across a parking lot where I recently had an extreme low - in that case a memory flash of stumbling across a pay phone, being drenched by the rain - and I didn't have the sense to pick it up and call 911. These 'bad dream' memories can be triggered by something as innocuous as seeing an ad for Ben & Jerry's ice cream and remembering the low I had in a motel room in Vermont when traveling across that state when I was 6 months pregnant, 20 years ago (I wonder if I don't like to buy B&J ice cream because of the price or because of the memory).

Sometimes it is just a memory flash that seemingly just comes at me for no apparent reason. It happens, but I don't dwell on them. However, these experiences have played out as significant events in my life. They have, in part, contributed to who I am today. Admittedly they do burden me to some extent - for I do tend to play the "what if" game (I try not to) or worry about how others worry when I have had an extreme low.

As for high events, I've never been hit by DKA or anything I haven't been able to handle. I just deal, and move on with it.

So I believe in general, the answer to your question is that I never get rid of unpleasant memories. I don't dwell on them, but they are there like that bad dream that won't go away.

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