Your story is so common -- and so very sad. Too many people will give you lots of compliments for losing weight, without every wondering or seriously inquiring HOW or WHY you're losing weight. There is tremendous pressure to be thin with little thought given in the moment to all the dangerous, unhealthy things that can make people suddenly thin: bulimia, anorexia, cancer, undiagnosed or untreated T1, clinical depression, etc.
I remember the summer (when I turned 14) when I simply...stopped eating.
I got so many compliments, people telling me how great I looked.
No one noticed or inquired into the fact that I was eating maybe 200 calories per day -- literally starving myself to near-death. But I was thin! That was all that mattered. Fortunately for me, after loosing about 40-lbs. (about 20-lbs. underweight for my height) my body rebelled and I couldn't keep it up into full-blown anorexia. Thank goodness for a strong survival instinct.
i agree, running high all the time would feel terrible. i'd never cope at work. I mentioned this once to the diabetes nurse about how easy it would be and she got tears in her eyes. she was so upset, that someone would do that. she made me promise i would never intentionally skip insulin. scary stuff, im well aware of what couold go wrong, ive seen it, i dont wanna risk that!
When I was having a lot of trouble with my breathing this past fall -- and my doctor pretty much told me that after all the tests, she thought it was strictly my weight that was the problem (it wasn't, but that's another story) -- this set off a brief period where I was kind of flirting around the edges of diabulimia. I would calculate my insulin needed and then inject half or 2/3 of what I ought to have injected. The thought/feeling was, "I can't inject so much insulin! It's making me gain weight!".
After a few weeks of doing this several times per week, I snapped out of it.
I think it can be dangerous for medical professionals to just blame people for their weight -- or tell them that their weight is the cause of their health problems -- without AT THE SAME TIME working with them on a healthy plan for weight loss.
As an obese T2 on MDI, what works for me is to cut way, way back on my carb intake (of course), eat as close to a all-natural, all-organic diet as possible and walk an hour every day. That way I NEED less insulin. I don't need to keep eating what I was eating and cut back on the insulin required to cover it. That way lies madness and diabetic complications!!!
I am glad that I had heard of diabulimia and understood it -- this knowledge helped me realize what I was doing and nip it in the bud before the behavior got too entrenched.
I was diagnosed with T1 at age 10. I can honestly say that it never crossed my mind to reduce insulin to lose weight, even when I was a teenager. That is not to say that I didn't have my own issues with bloodsugars and food. But I think it was partially due to the fact that I have been very lucky to never have weight issues, but also due to the fact that my parents were very on top of my diabetes care when I was young. Also, the thought of all the complications that could happen made me too scared to attempt something like that.
I had my own issues with food/weight before I was dx'd T1. I am doing much better because I eat very low carb, so I keep my insulin usage down that way...but I think about skipping boluses all the time. I have high autoimmune markers for hashimoto's (hypothyroidism) and lately I haven't been able to lose a single pound. I have a bit more body fat than usual, which is really distressing for me since I'm used to being on the thinner side. The call to restrict my insulin at the expense of my blood sugar control is getting stronger, but I'm still resisting. There have to be better ways! I don't want complications, and I keep telling myself that every day.
Please visit my website www.wearediabetes.org for a ton of resources on diabulimia. I am the founder of this organization and would love to help you. Please feel free to email me at email@example.com :)