Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Doris D on May 15, 2012 at 12:18pm

Agree with u pup on all points there. I get sooo flustrated that I tend to blow up too fast. ERRRR I do it with my kids too! LOL! Oh and let's not forget the g-kids.... My g-daughter has said "If u getNanny flustrated enough she'll start yelling Then it's time to leave her alone" LOL!

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on May 15, 2012 at 1:13pm

If you are responding to me lotsofshots, you are making some incorrect assumptions some of which are beyond patronizing, such as "it is bound to feel uncomfortable to many people that are not used to these types of behavioral health issues." I don't often share my credentials on here because I feel we are all here as Diabetics not as our various professions. But just fyi I worked in mental health for over 25 years and currently teach Psychology at the Community College level.

But your comments are patronizing to people on here who do not have professional mental health backgrounds as well. This is one of the most compassionate and empathetic online sites I've ever seen. People are welcomed on here who have lots of extra issues to the usual Diabetes management, from cognitive deficits to emotional/psychological issues to extra health problems. We have newly diagnosed pre-teens and "unused to modern tech" seniors. We have people recovering from cancer, kidney transplants, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, Substance Addiction, etc. etc. To say one person is so unique so damaged that he cannot be understood or treated compassionately by members of this community is to misunderstand both the nature of change and the nature of TuD. But as a seasoned professional I know that you cannot help people who don't want your help, you can only let them know you are there and help is available. I also know that feeding into negative behaviors or thought patterns is counter-productive to all concerned. Do read up on behavioral therapy and you will see that positive behaviors are rewarded and negative behaviors are not. Attention is reward. By all of us getting emotional and continuing on with this thread long after the OP has stopped participating we are giving attention to and rewarding negative behavior. And yes, I am aware that I am doing this as much as anyone else right now.

To say "since I am in the mental health mode at work, it is natural for me to be more responsive in supporting behavior that most people would not" is both patronizing and inaccurate. Supporting unhealthy behaviors is an easy trap to fall into,and may "look like"compassion, but it is far from being the correct thing to do in all circumstances. Knowing when to help and when to sit back is a hard skill to come by..and even harder to stick to.

Finally this is not a mental health facility. It is a message board whose purpose is to support and help all its members from newbies to longtermers. And while "venting" is one of the things we all do at times and hear caringly in others, the goal is always to provide an ear, then suggest positive resources, whether they are D management tips, or outside support for things we are not, individually and collectively equipped to help. As a professional in the field I may have my own views as to what someone appears to be dealing with psychologically, but it isn't my place to diagnose on a message board because the picture is often much different than the words typed. And it isn't my place to "counsel" either, but just to say, "you sound like you may be dealing with some emotional issues, perhaps therapy might help." Bottom line is I'm not paid to treat mental illness on TuD, any more than the physicians who come on here are being paid to treat our medical problems. I'm on here for me, and if anyone thinks that's selfish, that's their right, but ultimately we all come here to get needs met. I do very much enjoy being a part of a community and nobody could deny I try to help others. But negative energy is not how I choose to spend my time and certainly not when attempts to help have proven fruitless over a period not of days or weeks but literally years. If you choose to see me as uncaring that's your prerogative.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on May 15, 2012 at 1:28pm

No need to delete, Trudy and I understand; I don't like arguing either, especially when I'm the one doing it! So I apologize for that. But I also need to speak up for myself when I feel misunderstood or offended.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on May 15, 2012 at 2:27pm

Hey lotsofshots - maybe it's time for us both to take some deep breaths and get back to this lovely spring day? ::::extending hand:::::

Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on May 15, 2012 at 4:26pm

awww, that's so cute! Oh wait, can I say that? I always miss out on what happens in these threads during the day as I don't "board" during work but it's interesting to see all of the dialogue from what was sort of a yes/no question?

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on May 15, 2012 at 5:47pm

Hey at my age, I love it if someone thinks I'm being cute! Though that was actually a "shaking" hand, not a "strolling through the sunshine" hand which is how it ended up sounding...still, like someone said..we're family and family can have heated discussions and all's good in the end.

Permalink Reply by lotsofshots on May 17, 2012 at 10:25am

Hi acid, Sorry if you saw a mean cat comment here and felt confused by it. Also for Zoe, we are good no hard feelings at all and I respect your opinion. I deleted all my comments because they were just not helpful to the discussion, Zoe and Acid, I agree with you both:
@Acid It is good to take care of your diabetes and the effort helps you feel healthier
@ Zoe Staying positive is crucial. It helps you cope and helps you deal with the challenges inherent in a condition like diabetes.

Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on May 17, 2012 at 11:22am

I've sort of moved to the next level, where I don't worry that much about diabetes when I'm running/ riding/ lifting. It's along for the ride but as I've kept at it, I've been able to keep pulling, small, incremental improvements out of continued "work" (really "play" would be better?) and I feel like if I keep at it, I'm less a person with diabetes fighting against a diabetes grim reaper and more a middle-aged guy fighting the middle-aged guy grim reaper, if that makes sense?

I didn't take things personally but I argue about stuff at work all day a lot and often am arguing pros and cons of both sides so I probably do that here too?

Permalink Reply by Trudy on May 15, 2012 at 6:27pm

My comment became irrelevant, so I deleted. Cheers, Everyone!

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Permalink Reply by Peetie on May 15, 2012 at 7:30pm

Cheers Trudy!

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Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on May 14, 2012 at 3:25pm

I agree that smileandnod's post is great and a good riposte to people. I don't think that I'm 'joking', as KatieT1 put it either. I read through the posts again to see if I was particularly obnoxious and maybe I oughtn't to have quoted Gary's history back into the thread so if people found that offensive, I apologize as my intent is to keep the idea of better numbers in everyone's head. I really would like to see a different approach to "goal setting" put out by the medical industry and for doctors not to light up with a rosy glow at an average BG that is still above the threshold at which the chances of complications increase. I started in on my rant about that a few pages ago but apparently wandered off away from that too. I think the topic is a good one and as I found something I am leery of getting too involved in myself so I certainly should not be casting any stones. Still, I don't like it when a "veteran" implies that testing 10X/ day and "counting crumbs" are a bit whacked out. I mean, of course I'm a quite a bit whacked out but not because I test my BG a lot?

I also like that smileandnod mentioned "doing everything" and still having challenges. Maybe I don't talk enough about challenges, although I've mentioned a DP "outbreak" lately, worse than usual, that's led to some off numbers for me. I just figure that stuff out and maybe it will go away? The points about driving to work and "faking it" on weekends are also really good. Weekends are always harder because I get out of my comfort zone, even though it feels great not to go to work, the extra time sometimes leads directly to adventures in BG.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on May 15, 2012 at 11:08am

This thread has gone off in several directions, some of them not so healthy. But I do want to respond to one issue brought up and that is that some members feel intimidated by those who talk of "flatlines" or the 5% club. On a personal note, my A1C is listed as 5.7 in my profile and that is, in fact, the last A1C I took, back in November and I was over the moon with it as my previous low was 6.4. But more recently my numbers have been all over the place and I'm struggling to get back under control. I haven't done a new A1C out of fear..lol.

We all make choices about how we manage our Diabetes. For myself, I choose to eat moderate carb rather than true low carb so I can remain a vegetarian. I was fine with A1C's in the middle 6's. That doesn't mean I don't admire people who through hard work get consistently in the 5% club! But that doesn't take away from my compassion for people who work hard but struggle.

Finally, I've spoken often on here about something I call "the luck of the draw". Some people seem to semi-effortlessly have very stable numbers, and some people work really hard and achieve great results. But there are also many people who work really hard and still struggle with fluctuating blood sugar levels. And that's where the whole "luck of the draw" thing comes in. Perhaps it's a variable we're yet unaware of, perhaps it's genetics, who knows. But when I see someone who works hard with little success I know they must feel frustrated, like we all do when we don't get the rewards we feel we deserve. And when I see someone who says their blood sugar consistently flatlines between 80 and 90, I'm very happy for them even if I feel we're from different species! The cliche/joke "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" comes to mind.

Ok, getting down off my soapbox.

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