Grr My wife is going d-pol on me. Twice this week we have butted heads. I don't mind the occasionally do you need that comment but don't tell me how to take care of my diabetes or compare me to my mother. Just venting
I have a sister who is always on my back on if I have tested, if my pump is on, if I have tested my blood sugars before I eat and after I eat. Always making sure I'm doing what I can do be healthy.
I have been a diabetic since I was 3, I know how to take care of my self. My sister is a nurse who works in PED ICU and is a flight nurse and have seen what happens when diabeties is at its worse.
I had snapped at her one day and was really mean in what I said. I had told her, I'm waiting for the day you become a diabetic so I can be on your $*# about what you eat, how to test, when to test, what to eat.
Told her how fusterating it is when your at my face about my diabeties, told her how fusterating it is that your being a $**# and a fricken nag all the time. I told her I would like for once have a decient conversation without my diabetes being part of a conversation when we are talking to each other.
Since then, she has backed off. Our family is streight and direct and pretty much blunt.
You might want to try talking to her sometime, Jim, when you are both relaxed and in a good mood. (Not at the time of one of these incidents). Tell her why you would prefer she didn't play the D-police role, and could trust you to manage your own diabetes. All these little annoying comments can start to end up as resentments that your marriage doesn't need. If it really starts to be a wall between you, a couple sessions of couples counseling would help you talk to each other about the issues. But hopefully you can head it off at the pass before it gets to that point.
She tries not to nag but only understands so much. I have tried to get her to read up on everything but I think she would rather be in the dark. Mostly because her family has a history of type-2, she is slightly over weight, PCOS and now we are pretty sure a thyroid issue(I keep hounding her to get to the dr), and I will suggest she gets a A1c every now and then.
Vent away! I don't want to hear that someone means well & it's because they love us because being intrusive is just that. My husband is the love of my life except when he goes police. At the slightest change in emotion I hear, "should you test?" & he starts bringing me the meter. Want to grab it from his hands & throw it against a wall. Feel like I'm not entitled to legitimate emiotional responses. Everything gets chalked up to a low or high. Yea, I've told him how infuriating this is. The only time he flashes the food badge is when we're out with friends. What's that about? Yea, I've also told him how humiliated this makes me feel. He also checks my meter for readings. I've thought of sticking a strip in sugar to log in a super high just for fun!
I think the whole "policing in front of friends and family" is some kind of deeply ingrained, caveman thing. He's unconsciously trying to show everyone that he can manage and take care of his woman. ;0)
Smile and tell him very sweetly, "Thanks, Grok, but I've got it under control."
I have to admit that I like the hand at the small of my back, the arm to hold when crossing the cobblestones, the hackles rising on the back of the neck when there are some unsavory characters nearby.
It's nice when they love us and want to protect us from harm.
But do we really need to be "protected" from one slice of pizza or 1/4 of a brownie at a holiday party? Really?
And do we really need to test our blood glucose (or be asked about our Aunt Dot...!!!) every, single time we get grumpy? Other people get grumpy, too, including our Type 0 heroes.
My husband used to ask me when he was acting like a jerk, "Honey is it that time of the month?" At least now that I'm post menopause he doesn't ask that any more. He's probably just thinking "What a b%$#@ !
Honestly I'm bad at anytime when my husband, kids or g-kids bring up the fact I need to test but I'm worse when I'm going low and they tell me to test my bs. Then I WON'T and they have to grab the meter and a finger (while I'm fighting them with all I have. Which by the time they catch it is not much but in my mind I think I'm fightingoff a bear) and test me. I'm usually below 25 when that happens. LOL! It has to look funny me fighting them with all I have while their simply trying to prick my finger. You Tube They need to veido it one time. Bet it gets the most hits. LOL!
You could ask her how her UTI was dong, the first second she plays that stupid control game. Or ask her how her cycle was progressing. Same type of utter insensitivity (IMHO). Should silence her short term anyway.
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