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This is probably long and drawn out.. but I would appreciate feedback if anyone has anything to add.

So, ever since I went to see the endocrinologist and the physician's assistant, I am thinking more and more that I do not need to go to that office anymore.

First, the day after my appointment I called and asked if I could decrease my I:C ratio because the 1:20 was sending it sky high. The PA basically wound up telling me I was micromanaging and not to worry so much.

The CDE that I am seeing used to work at the same endo office and knows this PA. I told the CDE about what happened, and I said maybe the PA was having a bad day but it made me feel really bad when she suggested that I was micromanaging. My CDE told me that the PA's heart was probably in the right place, basically. So I decided to just let things simmer before making a decision.

The second incident occurred a week and a half later when I sent her my BG numbers. She actually e-mailed back and told me the following: "You are testing a lot and may want to reduce it a little. Be careful with over testing. I know you are curious but you don't want to burn out
with testing." I was really shocked by that, but let it be. I was testing on average 9-10 times a day; a couple days I did more than that when I was paranoid about my sugar dropping too low. Well, I just ignored that comment and let it be.

She has been asking me when I am going to make my pump appointment off on. I've tried to schedule it several times, but whoever was at the front desk the first time I tried had no idea what I was talking about. This week after I e-mailed her my numbers, she asked me yet again. I e-mailed her back and told her that I could not make an appointment because of my schedule- I am working 85 hours a week for 4 out of the next 6 weeks and the two weeks I could potentially go, they do not have any appointments.

I don't know why she keeps pushing me to make the appointment when they are booked solid for a month and a half.

She e-mailed me back with this "Sound like you are a little busy for the pump. So best to give it a little bit more time." I'm sorry, but that came off rude to me too. I keep thinking maybe she is just not a very good people person, but these interactions have totally turned me off of going back to that endo and PA.

I told the CDE I am seeing the first day that I am probably a little too intense and she responded immediately with "That's OK, I am too." And every interaction with her has been positive and helpful. She is very supportive and does not speak negatively to me about things; instead she is informative. The CDE does set some people up with pumps; but she told me on my last visit to go through the process at the endo because they are better set up for it.

I just don't want to. Is it unreasonable to ask my CDE if she would please go through the process with me because I am not wanting to go back to that endo office? It is the only endo office in the whole region, and quite frankly not worth it to me to keep going..

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That's totally bad-ass that you are enjoying your life!

I kno, rite?!!! :p

I agree too that I'd put my money on you being ok going on a pump tomorrow, being a doctor and all that...

I realize I could still really screw it up..

LOL, diabetes is plenty screwed up by itself, without any input from us. I was stunned at how much less work the pump was once I started it.

Yeah? These overnight shifts make it a pain in the ass. Everything is all screwed up.

I have to admit I haven't ever done overnight shifts! 8-4:30 most of the time...

Can I have those hours please?

I guess I get sassy when people suggest I can't or shouldn't do something.

Were you trying to raise your blood sugar with those two tablespoons of peanut butter? Peanut butter is not very good at all for that purpose (as you saw). You need something more pure carbs without fat that will act quickly to bring you up the desired amount.

I was more concerned with going lower, not pushing it up. Today went fine so I probably freaked for no reason yesterday. I do realize things can vary though

I understand. Until you get used to what your body is likely to do, even near-lows can be scary. Of course once you get used to it, it throws you a monkey wrench, but try not to think about that..lol.

My own process with lows is I had a bad one where I went unconscious very soon after I started insulin which scared me a lot. It was a case between me and my doctor...well, you've heard the phrase "the blind leading the blind"? I did learn from that experience, though. First I learned that you can go unconscious and your liver kicks in and makes glucose to raise you up enough to deal with it on your own. Second I learned why it happened. (I took 5 units fast acting to correct a high of 209 - my ISF today at night is 1:60. You do the math..lol

But I was still scared and it took me awhile of gingerly taking the least insulin I could before I got confident enough to take appropriate amounts. Today I only treat lows under 60 (some people treat under 70, others under 60) and I treat with only what I need. So freaking out at first I would say is pretty normal - insulin is a powerful drug - but after awhile you'll get more comfortable.

Oh my goodness, Zoe, I'm so happy that you survived! Getting the correction ratio is so important...




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