It's a tough situation when someone does something for you without realizing that its potentially harmful.
There's no choice but to be straight forward. How about 'contributing' a great big salad to the meal and eating mostly that. But you still have to explain to your friend that although you deeply appreciate the thoughtfulness and the meal, pizza is something you just can't handle (not even 'just this time') because it raises your blood sugar. Explain how the carbs in the crust convert directly to sugar . . . blah, blah, blah. Do this while you're cutting a slice of pizza in half into a pencil-thin sliver.
In other words, try to thing of the nicest way to say you can't eat pizza and hope they don't take offense. After all, you're there to spend time with THEM, not for the pizza. Right?
I guess you could explain that you will scrape off the top portion of the pizza skipping the dough part and eat that. That wouldn't be near as bad; as the pizza sauce although its sweet, it is not going to spike you like the dough will. Not the best work around but hey it something.......
Well, I guess if you follow my posts, you will realize I am outspoken. The plain fact is, if you go through life, just accepting whatever food is put on the plate in front of you, you are going to have a rough time. If you feel comfortable telling your friends that you have diabetes, then you should feel comfortable telling them that you are following a strict diet. That is just the way it is. It is not a big deal. They can either prepare something on your diet, or what I do is offer to bring something that I can eat. I will adapt in difficult situations, and I've had to eat the topping off many a pizza. But just because someone else is providing food, that does not mean you have to eat it and any true friend will be ok with you protecting your health and sticking to your guns and declining to eat the pizza crust and their homemade pie.
And I will tell you that should a friend tell me that they will "take care" of my diet and I show up and there are just carbs and absolutely nothing I can eat, I will just sit there at the table and eat a few slices of butter and nothing else. But then again, I said I was outspoken.
I know, and it's partly my fault, because... I didn't ask ahead what she was going to be making? I just assumed that since a.) her grandma is diabetic, and b.) I told her I was diabetic, that they would be making something better... But not everyone actually takes care of themselves or gives a rat's behind, if you know what I mean? I can't really make a big dish to share, right now, cus the weather is bad (it's freezing rain), and I don't have car, and I'd have to walk to the store in that... but she's coming to pick me up, so maybe we can talk in the car, or something... She's a nice person, I just.. don't want to hurt their feelings too much. I might be able to dive in her fridge, and eat something else. lol
1. It's nobody's 'fault'. Nobody did anything wrong. Your friend may have relatives with diabetes but that doesn't mean she knows squat about diabetes or diabetes management. (Have you ever run across the person who say something like "Oh, my uncle had that" and then goes on to spill out a ton of information that's just plain wrong? This is similar.) You didn't do anything wrong. You can't be expected to teach everyone you know about diabetes management. You have to do it a little at a time. Be kind. Explain that it's not them, it's you - make sure they understand that the burden is on you and you're not unloading on them.
2. Your health is more important than her feelings, and you're smart enough to avoid hurting her feelings. Since she's picking you up, ask her to swing by the grocery store so you can pick something up that's okay for you to eat - but get enough for everyone.
Before being diagnosed, I was vegetarian & got used to eating what I could at other people's houses. I'd stick to salads & veggies. This hasn't changed much since being a diabetic.
It's an awkward situation not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, but all you can do is politely tell them how great the pizza looks, but you can only eat the toppings. Friends understand. I have a friend who calls me to list the ingredients to check if I can't eat something (she already knows I don't eat grains & starchy things). She doesn't need to go to this extreme, but so thoughtful.
One must also realize that simply following a low carb diet is really not that bad compared to other diets. I mean you can mostly look at food and tell. But think about following a gluten-free diet. You can't look at stuff and know. And people don't know about gluten-free, even the best intentioned people have serious trouble. How are you supposed to know the darn "soy sauce" has gluten. Pizza. That stuff is easy. She's your friend, she will understand. Go have fun, ask her to pill the toppings real thick on your slice.
Report back here and I'll give you the recipe for my "pizza pie pie." That's right a pizza pie, made entirely with toppings as a pie. Not exactly low calorie, but it is low carb.
I know that this is a tough situation. Like others, I suggest bringing something healthy. Here's what I would do:
Bring some salad or raw carrots or a veggie tray. Or stop and buy a pre-made salad on the way. Thank them for a THIN slice of pizza and tell her that is all you can eat because pizza has a lot of carbs and eat a lot of salad.
Eat the topings (hope they are vegi's, meat's and good quality cheese) ... and little crust ....
But like most have said ... being honest with your family and friends helps you to be honest with yourself. Spikes are not cool, especially if they end up effecting you in a global sense like your A1C.
It's a matter of is one meal more important to you than being honest about what you can eat? If the friend is a good friend then they will understand that you have a health problem that can't just be ignored for one night, it is a 24/7 thing. YES, my all means call ahead and ask what the menu is going to be, unless it was a spur of the moment thing, you can always stop and get something to bring, make it at home, however you do it. But educating the general public about diabetes is very important I think, and I like BSC tend to be very vocal about my needs. If you let this opportunity go without explanation, your friend will not know about what you can eat, and make the same gafaw again. I believe in being open and honest with people and telling them the truth. And then enjoy their company, because it's NOT about the food, it IS about the friendship.
Well, to update on my night, tonight... I did tell my friends my concerns, and they bought salad, and various other things, and they made the dough into a very thin crust pizza, to minimize carb impact. I actually haven't had pizza in a very long time, so I did allow myself to enjoy some of it, in controlled portions... I have to take care of myself, and because I take care of myself, and I want to prevent binging episodes in my life (that are far more dangerous), I allowed myself this mini vacation tonight. My month average blood glucose readings have been very low (112 mg/dL), and low 80s for morning fasts, and such, and I had eaten very little carbs today... to try to minimize impact a bit. What ended up happening was that I had a blood sugar of 191 mg/dL 70 minutes after dinner, and 153, 2+ hours after dinner. Right now, it's 95 mg/dL (12:46 am.) We stayed up, moving about a lot, and talking, so that has helped quite a bit. I think they understand, now, that I can't do these things all the time... I don't quite think their mother in law has full blown diabetes (but more of a pre-diabetes state), or at least, doesn't care much about dieting in any way... so they don't really have much of a clue as to what is okay and not okay. But we can work on that... It'll be an adjustment for my friends, as much as it has been for me... but they care, and they love me... And no, I didn't offend them. :) Thanks guys, for all the input and I appreciate the help. This is all, still, very new to me... even though I have managed to get my sugars under tight control in just a couple of months.
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