Frustrated Rant

I've been T1 for 18 years. For the last 10 or so I have also been struggling with an anxiety problem, a lot of which is a severe fear of low bg. This affects me to the point that I consistently under count my carbs, and take less humalog than I know I should, or sometimes skip my bg correction altogether. My average so far for September is at 416. Last A1c was 13.4. These numbers are horrible, I am well aware of that, and all of the complications to go along with this down the road. I feel like when I am feeling less anxious and could push my bg down some, I am not making enough effort to do so, mainly out of the fear of "what if"...like, what if I do feel anxious when I see a lower reading later on. To throw another wrench in the works, low bg and anxiety mirror physical symptoms very closely. I've also been told high sugars can cause anxiety or anxious feelings. To an extent I have noticed this, and a decrease to a degree in the level of anxiety I am feeling when levels are not as high. In the past, I've seen many Dr's for this, endo's, psychiatrists, therapists. I spent 4 months in a behavioral hospital where all the medical side of things was controlled for me. That was in 2004, and I was under control during that time. However coming out of there, things were quickly back to where they started. I'm currently on meds for the anxiety, some days go better than others with managing that. Its been suggested that I give a few day hospital stay in a medical hospital a try to get back under control, and go from there, but I feel like this will just turn out like the last stay did. I have echoed this concern and not gotten much of a response. My nurse practitioner at the endo's office would like me to try a cgm, with the thinking that if I have that easy access to bg readings and the ability to set low threshold alarms, I might be more comfortable letting my sugars run lower. I worry it will be too much information for me and cause me more issues. Most recently, between not feeling well due to high sugars, and anxiety spilling over into other parts of life, I have missed a lot of work. I guess after rereading this, what I've written is all over the place and a mess. Anyway, I just needed to vent a bit, sorry its so long and such a mess...but that's my story.
Ryan

Tags: 1, anxiety, diabetes, type

Views: 526

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Brian (bsc) on September 8, 2011 at 3:23am
You are very brave for coming her to talk about this. Unfortunately, all the details of diabetes, every bite we eat, every decision we have to make about blood sugars, these things can really cause us problems. You are not alone. There are others here that struggle with similar issues, whether it be fear of low blood sugars or high blood sugars. These things can take over your life driving you to do things that you know in your heart are not in your best interest. You say you have seen therapists. Have you seen any therapists that specialize in diabetes as a chronic illness or cognitive behavioral therapy? I think there are people here that would like to help you, but you have already tried a fair number of things. Until you get your thinking in order (what you call anxiety), you won't get your blood sugar under control.
Permalink Reply by ryryguy392 on May 19, 2012 at 4:59pm

I haven't had much luck finding a therapist who specializes in diabetes, though I have worked extensively with cognitive behavior therapy.

Permalink Reply by Spock on May 19, 2012 at 5:30pm

Hate to ask, but where are you? I have had great success with therapy with those who are diabetic. The therapists who are diabetic and really understand chronic disease folks are the very best.

I found her through the nurses at the local diabetes care center at the local hospital. Call them. Ask for a true specialist and be patient. I did not think it helped at all at first, but it did--just took me time to digest it.

Permalink Reply by ryryguy392 on May 19, 2012 at 7:18pm

I'm on the east coast. Philly, PA area. In the past, folks at my endo office haven't been much help in finding anyone if that is what you mean when you say diabetes care center.

Permalink Reply by Leo2 on September 8, 2011 at 9:35am
Dear Ryry, A hospital stay can be useful if you combine it with learning about & using CGM. Maybe at the hospital stay they can ensure you have memorized certain set food combinations/carb numbers and with the CGM you can, with them, get to the "right" setting for insulin that can get you moving in the right direction.
Do you need HUGS? Do you need a group sticking with you at meals? Get a good professional team working for you.
Right now we're all pulling for you!
Get the kind of combination therapy that will set you up to achieve normal blood sugars! It goes slowly at first, but it's REWARDING.
Permalink Reply by Spock on May 19, 2012 at 5:31pm

Who lets you stay at a hospital anymore? Not where I live, for sure!

Permalink Reply by crash on September 8, 2011 at 10:49am
ARRRGGGG!!! Sorry to hear of your struggles. I haven't been able to talk to many other diabetics before; its nice to see that I'm not the only one with internal issues that have a severe and dramatic effects on life. I commend you for your bravery and implore you to keep up the fight; you can get to where you need to be. High ones are just as dangerous as low ones; low sugars seem worse because you feel the effects right now, but you can also fix the problem of a low BG right now. High BGs are a long term issue with slow recourse and long term consequences. Good luck, I hope you find the answer to your issues soon.
Permalink Reply by ryryguy392 on May 19, 2012 at 4:57pm

Part 2 (aka More of the Same):
So here we are about 8 months later. BG readings still looking just as ugly as before, if not worse. I finally broke down Thursday and put a call into the CDE at my endo's office looking for more help and admitting to her that I think I am probably at the point of needing some kind of outside intervention such as possibly giving in to her previous suggestion that I should be hospitalized. She is supposed to be calling me back Monday after she shuffles some appointments and finds a hole to fit me in to see her before making any decisions. As I pointed out, my readings have slowly been creeping up, and I'm really starting to feel this. At this point, I've managed to get myself into such a mess of not taking any of my meds the way I'm supposed to be, be it thyroid, vitamins, or anything else. Last I posted I mentioned being well aware of all of the complications that go with what I am doing, but now, feeling how I do physically every day (sick, tired, unmotivated, etc), I guess it has sort of made it click that the path I am headed down is going to kill me sooner rather than later, and quite frankly, I'm not ready for that at 25 years old. I really haven't been taking any insulin for a correction factor, and she was able to give me some idea where I can start with that and some changes with my Lantus. So far, when I have stuck with it, my readings have looked much better (not good, but for where I've been running, better).

I'm still fighting with the anxiety and depression as well. I'm also now unemployed, and am finding it very difficult to keep to any kind of medication schedule not having any other real structure to my day, even with diligent logging of when I take everything from meds to food.

Again, I reread, find my thoughts all over the place, and apologize for the length. I guess I just wanted to update this, find some encouragement, and perhaps this is my admission that its time I really buckle down and make some positive changes for me.

Thanks for taking the time to read more of my ramblings!
Ryan

Permalink Reply by MegaMinxX on May 19, 2012 at 5:57pm

You should be proud that you are still trying, and taking small steps in the right direction. I can see how hard that is for you, so congratulations, and keep the positive thoughts flowing !

For many years I kept my BGs high and resisted doing multiple injections. After 20 years of that, I suffered eye complications, and knew it was time to make changes. I did not have to deal with the anxiety you mention, but it was hard to break old habits, and leave my comfort zone of not worrying about lows.

By changing things gradually, and for a while eating the exact same meals that I knew the right dose for, I gradually got my BGs and A1C down. I set weekly goals and rewards when I met my goals, one small step at a time.

YOU CAN DO IT TOO ! In your words, you have, if you just 'stick with it' !

Permalink Reply by Ashley on May 19, 2012 at 10:34pm

I've had T1 for 18 years also, My A1C has been between 11 and 9.6 for 8+ years. 6 months ago I developed a thyroid problem, and 4 months ago I found out I have the earliest stage of retinopathy. Complications are not fun.. especially only being 20.

I would suggest another hospital stay, you CAN do this! It took the retinopathy for me to realize that this is not going to go away, and I regret choosing to ignore my diabetes for all of these years. Good luck, you seem to be headed on the right track!

Permalink Reply by Doris D on May 20, 2012 at 7:41am

Vent all u need here. I really have no advice for u but to let u know that I'm still surviving after 38 years with Type 1 and u can too!

Permalink Reply by lotsofshots on May 20, 2012 at 8:52am

Ryan, You are really not as "all over the place" as you would think. You have done a great job of explaining what is going on with you and I can relate so much to your story. I have problems with anxiety too and was in bad shape when I first came to TuDiabetes with a HA1C of over 8 and afraid of lows just like you are talking about. My heart goes out to you. I finally found the help that I needed and it takes a lot of work to keep things stable, but it is worth it. I feel a lot better with good BGs. It is possible don't give up. I had a lot of trial and error and went through a lot of evaluations. I have been in the hospital a few times too along the way. sending positve vibes your way. Take it one day at a time. I know it is rough and feels like an impossible situation, you have more control over things than you think that you have.

RSS

Advertisement



REsources

Groups

From the Diabetes Hands Foundation blog...

How do you measure the work of volunteers?

329,040 minutes, 329,040 moments so dear. 329,040 minutes — How do you measure, measure volunteers? In smileys, in tears shed, in counsel, in cups of coffee. In units, in carb counts, in laughter, in strife. In 329,040 minutes – how …
Continue Reading

DHF Expands Board of Advisors

Diabetes Hands Foundation has always relied on partners and advisors to increase its understanding of the diabetes space, in order to better serve people touched by diabetes. Today this is as true as ever, as we proudly announce the expansion …
Continue Reading

TuDiabetes Team

DHF STAFF

Manny Hernandez
(Co-Founder, Editor, has LADA)

Emily Coles
(Head of Communities, has type 1)

Emily Walton
(Business Manager)

Mike Lawson
(Head of Experience, has type 1)

Corinna Cornejo
(Development Manager, has type 2)

Heather Gabel
(Administrative and Programs Assistant, has type 1)

DHF VOLUNTEERS


Lead Administrator
Bradford (has type 1)

Administrators
Lorraine (mother of type 1)
Marie B (has type 1)

Teena (has type 2)

Brian (bsc) (has type 2)

jrtpup (has LADA)

 

LIKE us on Facebook

Spread the word

Loading…

Get Badge

This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify. This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: verify here.

© 2013   A community of people touched by diabetes, run by the Diabetes Hands Foundation.

Badges  |  Contact Us  |  Terms of Service