help..
So my angst and anger and annoyance aside, (that's a lot of 'a' words), I have a boyfriend, and he loves me immensely. He knew at the beginning of our relationship that I was a type one diabetic; our relationship actually started because I was diagnosed with it. But lately my moods have been horrid, I don't want to check or deal with the type one, etc. He tries to get me to check or take my insulin and I just get mad at him. He keeps eating chocolate or three or four servings a sitting of mashed potatoes or whatever else of high carbs. He doesn't seem to understand how much this bothers me. He also eats most of my serving, which bothers me too. But as much as I try to tell him how it makes me feel, it doesn't help him understand and he just gets defensive. He drinks soda late at night. I feel like we are always at eachother. He doesn't believe me when I say mood swings can be caused by diabetes; he thinks I can just do some deep breathing and it will go away. Since the type one onset, I have been diagnosed with a rare form of eczema, bipolar, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, anger (my shrink wanted to admit me to a mental hospital for evaluation). I was also just told I have a thyroid issue which affects my calming down after getting mad near impossible to do. I had just ended an abusive relationship after the diagnosis. I am a full time college student (made the dean's list the last three semesters). Just some background. But what has made me write this is that I was just telling him about the artificial pancreas system, and he said it had been out for years. I told him it is still going through its trial phase and he wouldn't believe me even after I showed him proof. I feel like he thinks I'm incompetent. Out of the two of us, I figure I would know if there were new developments because I have the disease. It has consumed me mentally. I get emails hourly about type one/diabetes. I constantly worry about my levels even though I dont check. Plus the eczema has made it difficult enough to check my fingers.
I'm at a loss about what to do or how to get through to him. I hate the fighting but I can't get a grip, which like I said, he doesn't believe.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Oakville27 on -
I definitely have moments of frustration with my GF and, more frequently, her family. She's come to understand more about my BG and what my numbers mean, but for a while she was confused about what needed to be done for low BG and high BG, etc.
Ultimately, I came to realize that I'm the one living with diabetes and managing it. I'm the one who constantly thinks about carbs, ratios, and what exactly insulin does. Quite frankly, i had no idea about any of the details of insulin until I was diagnosed and I can't expect anyone who doesn't have diabetes to truly understand the nuances and details as we do. I try to involve her in my visits and she makes the effort to ask about my numbers and over time she has come to understand it better - but it's probably taken more patience on my end than hers.
My frustration with her parents is more constant because they just don't understand what carbs are and when I've tried to explain it I can just see it going through one ear and out the other. They mean well and are very supportive, but it leads to constant questions and confusion (assuming I can't eat tomatoes, but offering me a huge piece of coffee cake, for example).
I've honestly just had to learn patience in my relationships and get past my frustration or self-consciousness (or both) and just say "no thanks." when i need to. I can't control how they feel or if they think my diet is weird - I do what I can to explain things but I can't let their attitudes/behavior influence or affect me and I certainly can't expect my needs to affect their habits or those of anyone else around me.
As long as I know they mean well and are making an effort, it's all I can ask of the people in my life - i live with this disease and will always have more to learn about managing it (both the BG and the emotions). Those who don't have diabetes on their mind 24/7 will ALWAYS have questions and that's just one more facet we have to deal with. Not that all the other aspects aren't enough to manage on their own! :)
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Permalink Reply by JustGettingBy on -
I am learning more and more that I am the one who truly has to deal with this. I get so excited when my levels are okay and then so utterly depressed when they aren't. I was just put on gabapentin and clonizapam (don't remember the spelling on either) but I don't know. I'm still anxious and moody and worried. I checked my dog's blood level the other night cause I'm starting to get obsessed.
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Permalink Reply by Oakville27 on
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Yeah - if everything in my life is going smoothly one day, I can take some funky numbers in stride. If the stuff's hitting the fan at work, etc. and I get a bad number, it's tough to keep things in perspective at times.
At the very least it's nice to be able to get on here and have a chance to talk to some people who understand what it feels like!
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Permalink Reply by JustGettingBy on
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Haha it wasn't for me, it was for him.. I do a lot of the cooking as well, buy he never seems to eat it. He likes the fast food, or microwave dinners as opposed to the lentils and pasta that I like.. But thanks for the input.
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