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Need advice for a friend whose husband has Type 2. My son has Type 1, so I know about diabetes from my end, but she is dealing with a lot on her end. Her husband has been diagnosed for several years but is in denial and refuses to take his meds because he doesn't like how he feels when he goes low. Obviously his meds need to be adjusted, but he won't go back to the doc. When she can get him to test he is always high - like 400 to 600 range! He is wasting away in front of her eyes - getting skinnier and skinnier, drinks liquids a lot and urinates a lot. I think he is clearly going into DKA, and so does she. When I have given her keytone test strips to have him test, he has come up with large keytones. He just says he's not going to worry about it and won't do a thing about it! I have sent over websites, links to Diabetes Powershow, etc. but he won't listen. She's at her wits end. Any advice on how to get through to him???
whatever. My wishes are best of luck and please deal with asap.
There are no instant answers but current approach while in your hands do not seem best answer as one who has been there - done that. Good luck and may your Gods go with you.
How sad. Twice I dealt with similar circumstances with my ex. He was an alcoholic and after trying to fight the fight for over 20 years I divorced him. He wasn't interested in fighting it and I couldn't do it for him. 2 years later he was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Another 2 years went by and it kept coming back. The dr. said he should have his bladder removed but he wouldn't have any of that. I tried to tell him that living without his bladder would be better than not living. It took him another year to decide maybe he would do the surgery but it was too late. He died 6 months later.
Obviously the up front way hasn't changed his thinking. If the sneaky way (My daughter always says it's ok to manipulate for good and in this case I have to agree) doesn't work then I have to say the blunt way might. Andi if it doesn't then your friend should put her life in a position that she can deal with it when he passes. You can't make someone else take care of themselves.
it is unfortunate that his mind will not change. As everyone has said it is pretty much impossible to change someones mind if they do not want to do it. However, I think when his condition finally gets extremely severe, he will realize the reality of the situation. Hopefully, you can find a way to really express how serious the situation is right now: tell him about the future consequences and tell him how it will affect his wife. Maybe even give an ultimatum if necessary to save his life. It may seem a bit drastic, but it may be the only way to get him to respond. If that does not work well, all you can do is continue to wait.
This is most unfortuante. The high glucose levels are making his viens and ateries soft and rubbery all over and potential for bad stroke. Best case is he dies. Worst case is he ends up disabled all over and stuck in bed.
It really is critical to get the glucose levels down to 155 average or lower.
One does not have to starve - only practice good portion control and get good exercise and be on meds with correct dose and application.
best wishes and good luck.
1st of all tell her to join the site she doesnt have to have diabetes to join the site. 2nd that is something she is going to have to do an intervention including his doctor and other family members. 3 rd she just really need to explain to him that she loves him and he is only hurting himself. Also local support groups might help..
I wish you the best of luck, he is not only in denial but will soon be worse. With readings that high he will most likely lose a limb or his eyesight. I have seen it before in others, its a shame it takes that before someone wakes up.
I remember back when I was a kid, the weeks before diagnosis, things were obviously very very wrong (every sign of DKA for at least a month, getting far worse at the end) but I didn't get to the hospital until unconscious from DKA. And after that... acceptance wasn't that hard, being stuck in the hospital for two weeks in recovery.
Can you just get the guy to a hospital that will actually hospitalize him for DKA? I know "give them the pills and treat them as an outpatient" is popular these days, but if that didn't work, putting him in the hospital really is the right thing?
As to "not liking how he feels when he goes low" I can identify, but many docs I think are not that appreciative of hypos? I mean they either make them sound like the worst thing in the world (leading to the situation where your friend's husband is, preferring DKA to risking a hypo), or are scared to talk about them because then their patients might stop taking meds? Getting him to talk to other PWD's here might be much much better than any doc? Some of our attitudes are a little cavalier but most of us balance risk+fear of hypos with treating diabetes OK.
I guess since he wont listen when he does pass out from DKA, he will be on a ventilator and an Insulin drip. After he gets out of the rough ( if he does) he can decide how many times he wants to do that. Seen that several times in the hospital.
I agree low b/s feel bad. Mine goes to 84 and i cant stand the feeling. I need to get my body readjusted to lows.
I too was in denial for several years. Even after my leg was amputated. It took for my whole body to shut down completely for me to come out of it. Until he is ready to do it himself, there is no way you can force him to take his meds. I, too, was used to the highs and didn't like the lows. Just help him be prepared for the lows when they happen and just give him time. I am a Type 2 diabetic so I know how it works. JudyAnn
threaten him..what else can you do...terrible way to live as a wife..watching your husband kill himself..to be honest and blunt very selfish person..really...and not thinking how it would affect the other people around you that love you..tell her to pray for her husband...I will do the same..to lighten his heart and to see what he needs to see..
It is extremely difficult when a spouse has a serious medical condition of any kind and won't respond. I am a type 2 - my hubby warned me at dinner last night that I needed to lay low on butter- while in the throw of my denial, it does no good for him to remind me. The best time for him to talk to me about diabetes is when I " Ain't Misbehav'in."
Her concerns about his high numbers and weight loss are really heartbreaking for her and are not to be taken lightly. She needs love and support - her husband being in denial is not about to change because of her promptings. I think she can best help him by helping herself - it may sound crazy but a 12 step program can help her deal with living with a person with a disease of denial. Addictions come in many forms. Intervention is another option.
My hubby had a heart attack 10 years ago and refused my pleas to call 911 - and he refused to go to the hospital. He was NOT passed out or incapacitated at all so had full conscious judgement. Finally, 30 hours after his cardiac event, he asked me to take him to the hospital. The blood work came back at 7 p.m. on Saturday. He indeed had had a full blown heart attack at noon on Friday. Then in the hospital in front of my very eyes he hand another incident that had it happened when he was alone with me, I WOULD HAVE CALLED 911.
The nurses were really ticked off at me - I mean REALLY - but the Cardiologist was patting me on the back for letting my 50 year old husband make his own decision. As I said,my husband was not laid out and was awake and refused a ride to the ER. All that being said, I still struggle with my decision. What if he had died? He had a blockage that needed to be tended to - it was and today, he is in full charge of his condition. I hope your friend finds a supportive system to help her. All my best, DeniseC