As a newly diagnosed LADA (3 months now) I was recently presented with a dinner invite from a couple who I know only casually. My dilemma is I really didn't know how best to handle the eating part and am looking for some advice. My issues are 1) I am eating very low carb quite successfully at present, 2) I don't really want to make a big deal about having DM to this particular group of people and I especially am not keen about my health status as being the center of conversation with a group of people I may have only just met, 3) I really don't want to have to do bolus dosing at someone elses house if that can be avoided - I often eat low carb meals without any bolus dosing at all. Although I have eaten out many times in the past, it has always been where I could pick and choose my food choices without drawing attention e.g., at a restaraunt or at parties with buffet style eating. This was going to be a more formal sitdown where they pass the potatoes, bread, rice and desert around and everyone would be expected to have some. I know you can pass on a single dish or two but on everything but the turkey and veg may be a bit out of place. Sorry for the ramble.
Eating in circumstances you can't control is never easy, but you've gotten some good suggestions to pick and choose from (kind of like the dinner!). I personally prefer to communicate but not make a big deal about it - it's a balance. Depending on your closeness to the host I would take him or her aside or call them before the dinner and tell them as much or as little as you please. It could be "I have some health issues that lead to food restrictions" or the actual diagnosis. Then reassure them they don't need to do anything special for you, and that you will do fine with what is served, but may turn some items down. Then just eat the meat and vegies or salad or whatever works for you without feeling pressure to eat things you would rather not.
I've gone through this process three times actually: First when I stopped eating sugar 17 years ago, then when I became vegetarian 10 years ago and now with diabetes. Ironically I find people understand the first two better than the third one because of myths and misinformation out there about diabetes! My own nephew recently told me the italian restaurant the family would be meeting at, and said "don't worry, Zoe, there is excellent pizza you can eat" (meaning vegetarian!) With the first two I was actually surprised how much people made a point of making things that I could eat. With the last one, either I used up my quota of special requests or they just don't know what it means. But since most people I know eat healthy there are always plenty of salads and fresh vegies.
The testing/shooting in public is another issue. Here on TuD people tend to say if you do those things in private you are ashamed of your D. I disagree and think it's a personal comfort level, one that may change with time. I did both in the bathroom for awhile until I had my first lunch out with another Type 1. I watched as she tested and looking around saw nobody was paying any attention at all! And she didn't even do the "move it down into your lap below the table" thing! Then I got comfortable. But recently I went to a potluck with people I barely knew and didn't want to "out" myself as attention getting right away. So I stepped out of the dining room/kitchen where everyone was gathered and sat on the couch in the empty living room. As I was testing a "gaggle" of teenage girls were rough housing through the house and one put her hand on another's arm and said, "careful, she's doing her diabetes" Cute!
It will never get easy, but you will find what works for you and perhaps in time you will share with your circle of friends which you might think makes it a big deal, but which actually leads to it becoming not such a big deal. Good luck!
I never worry about it and I never ask for special accomodations. I just eat what I can and pass on the rest. With all the dieting, food allergies, etc., that is not abnormal behavior. As far as the testing, injection, etc., I would try to test just before ringing the doorbell, then find a quiet spot for a quick bolus at mealtime. I know the bathroom is not the best, but sometimes it will do in a pinch, especially if you want to keep your D hushed up with this group.
Great suggestions all. I suppose it will be similar to my first long distance trip as a diabetic through several time zones and airports away from the comfort and familiarity of my own home/kitchen and food choices. I was admittedly a bit anxious but surprise surprise, it all went smooth as silk and now I look forward to travel again. And Leo I will refrain from the SIOTPP (I'm sure my mother would agree with your sentiments!)