Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by onesaint on August 24, 2010 at 10:42pm

You are an amazing partner just for reaching out to help him more.

Your husband sounds a lot like me. I sleep little, have gotten under tighter control lately, the wife is off taking care of the little ones a lot (we have 2 as well). She listens when she can. She does her best to make meals that are near my diet or can accommodate me in some way. The biggest thing, is that I know if I break down shell be there and will love me and take care of me. Knowing that gives me a base of confidence in my actions that is very important.

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Permalink Reply by Teena on August 24, 2010 at 11:39pm

My husband is very supportive. He has willingly taken all diabetes courses with me and educated himself regarding the management of the condition. He is non diabetic yet he is mindful of the food we both eat and purchase every time we do the grocery. Often I will let him slide with his regular soda and chips (specially during football season!)...but he makes it a point we eat healthy. Since exercise is an essential part of my diabetes management, he often always joins me for the walk or run each day. He will remind me to test, to take my medication or to eat...even if it wasn't necessary. Sometimes he can be a "diabetes police" but...I don't mind...I just know he cares that's why. It is touching when your spouse will say: "Honey...I would love to spend a long long healthy happy life with you..."

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Permalink Reply by Kelly on August 25, 2010 at 7:33am

I just joined this site, in the hopes of finding just this kind of a thread. As the partner of a type 1 diabetic I struggle with being supportive and not being the "diabetes police." Thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences. I want to be there for him but sometimes have a hard time finding that balance. He was diagnosed as a child so sometimes I feel like he thinks I just "don't understand." But in the moment, when his blood sugar is low or very high i sometimes think I am thinking more clearly and can be of assistance. Nice to hear y'all appreciate the support. I think he does, but was worried I was bugging him.

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Permalink Reply by onesaint on August 25, 2010 at 9:53am

Oh jeeze. This reminds me of a few years back, my wife would constantly ask me if I was low at the drop of a hat. Sooo annoying, I think eventually she backed off a bit to where she only asked when I was really acting spacey or out of the norm. I really appreciate her concern, but the constant "are you low?" was horrid. Made me feel like my normal actions were only justified if I was having a problem or not thinking straight.

The other thing is, I dont let her hold my kit. Her bags, be it diaper bag (when shes holding it) or purse are the epitome of a black hole. If I drop my kit in there is 5+ minutes of me searching for it. Cant have that when I need it for a check.

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Permalink Reply by Cara on August 25, 2010 at 7:50am

I don't think it has changed my husband's life at all, honestly. He's only "helped" me about 3-4 times in 13 years. Sometimes he's even downright obnoxious when I do ask for help. Unfortunately, I've had to learn to not count on him to help me. It makes me sad.

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Permalink Reply by TS on August 25, 2010 at 7:55am

My BF listens. I've grown up around "don't talk about it" and I try not to bug people at work or in my personal life. I don't hide that I have D, but I don't talk about it. My BF, I talk about it, or aspects of it, and he listens. May sound silly, but that's all I want from him. He also actively listens, will ask a question now and again or just say 'wow' or 'what about...'
I posted in a thread about intimate moments, he also holds the pump at those times, and is more careful than I about where the tubing is- this gives me an odd warm feeling.

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Permalink Reply by Myriah on August 25, 2010 at 8:25am

my boyfriend is very supportive of me....he was proactive in my decision to get on a pump....he's very attentive to my highs & lows and how it makes me feel....gives me a hug when i break down and have had enough....basically he lets me know that he's there no matter what....and he's not an emotional person whatsoever! lol....a hug and a smile to show support can go a long way ;-)

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Permalink Reply by rubyred2002 on August 25, 2010 at 9:29am

How many of you have little kids? I know that onesaint mentioned he has kids, but I am curious about the others who posted. I think the work involved with the kids definitely has an impact on both of us - when my husband is having blood sugar issues it's hard for him to do anything else and the kids are still little and need a lot from us.

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Permalink Reply by Kelly on August 25, 2010 at 9:31am

Yup, we have an almost five year old. My partner is typically very involved in childcare so it is a definite shift when he's feeling crummy, which is really pretty rare.

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Permalink Reply by caprifoglio on August 25, 2010 at 9:40am

I have a four year old and a 6 year old, both high energy and full of exuberance! My husband is really good about letting me go off and rest when I'm tired, and I appreciate that. I've explained and showed to them everything about testing BG and taking my shots from the beginning, so they're totally aware. Mostly I've just had to make some small adjustments for taking care of myself, as a mom putting yourself first is not always easy, particularly when the kiddies are young. But I've tried to keep my life as normal as possible since diagnosis, it's my intention to be around and in step with them as long as I can!

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Permalink Reply by Dana Clark on August 25, 2010 at 5:07pm

I have a 6 and 7.5 year old. Yes, 18 mos apart :). I KNOW I do too much and in the past probably put myself last. But I learned with Diabetic care, I have to work it in and put myself first. I work in the care into my everyday life. Thats one of the reasons I went on the pump- for an active lifestyle and to level-out instead of such highs and lows. My husband and I balance eachother well, but I definitely do too much in the childcare department. :) Thats how I'm wired. I don't think I get over tired or need rest... I'm just used to going and going. You can have a very normal life with Diabetes- with hard work. If he tends to have blood sugar issues he may want to consider the pump- but that will be a decision he will need to make.

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Permalink Reply by rubyred2002 on August 25, 2010 at 8:05pm

Thanks Dana - he is on the pump and it has helped but he still has a lot of highs and lows. He has a psychological issue that has been hard to overcome: he usually doesn't taken enough insulin because he is afraid of going too low. He passed out a couple of times in his teens and hasn't ever gotten over those incidents.

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