I came accross this site today and unfortunately my first post is about diabulima.I bet lots of you reading this find it hard to understand why someone would risk their life rather than gain weight but to me it has beome normal to skip my insulin.I feel the need to fill you in in the backround details so you can understand how I justify my diabulimia.I have type 1 diabetes for 16 years.I have always been fairly chubby and my control has NEVER been good.I am always hungry-I feel insulin makes me hungry.I was put on the pump in 2006 and for a month my control was good..but I wasnt exercising..I have never been able to exercise without eating exttra food...and I have read so many books and gone through 4 endos all telling me to go on a temporary basal rate..IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME!I found that I would gain weight by exercisng as I would almost always go hypo.Then I started college last year.It wa s a nightmare!I couldn't concentrate as my blood sugars were all over the place-either hypo or hyper.I would sleep in in the morining's and miss my early lectures.I hated socialising with the opposite sex as I had ZERO self confidence..I was fat and I really hated that.When I saw the photos from the previous night I would die a little inside.I wasn't eating that much at all.I was going to the gym almost every night in college.But I wasn't losing any weight.I tried this approach for 6 months but no change in my weight.Then I tried a low carb diet and wile my bgs did improve slightly I gained weight and it wasn't muscle.People were commenting on how I should exercise more-basically calling me fa indirectly.I had the WORST year of my life last year..I would't wish it on my worst enemy.I felt lonely ugly and very different to everyone else.I couldn't take it anymore..I wasn't achieving anything.So I decided to skip taking my boluses and my weight has come down a lot.My life is so much better..I enjoy socialising...I get attention from the opposite sex and everyone is saying how goos I look.But I know I am causing irreversable complications..I would love to start taking my insulin again but I CANNOT live being fat.Is thaere anyway I can lower my bg without gaining weight?What if I ate a low calorie diet and exercised as much as I could??Please dont tell me that I am selfish and I am killing myself beacuse life as a fat person is the worst thing ever.
Which solutions are more likely to achieve a positive outcome? I know that "in the long run, we are all dead..." but a lot of the challenges of diabetes come from balancing things other than insulin. While you are balancing insulin too. Even if you aren't taking insulin, you are still balancing insulin in a way.
I am inclined to agree that it's important to take insulin for many of the reasons you do but sometimes a more positive approach will get better results? Coming to a community is a big step and taking insulin is probably a big step. Other stuff can follow and if there are other issues, I would be inclined to follow Lee Ann's advice and take a more measured approach.
I'm not her therapist, but I am a therapist, one who treats people with diabetes who are struggling with the copious emotional issues that can accompany this disease. As such, I maintain that a supportive approach encouraging her to get the appropriate mental health care she needs from a service provider in her community is the most helpful thing this community can offer her. No one, regardless of the struggles they are facing with this disease, comes here to get the message board equivalent of a slap in the face. Most of us, regardless of the struggles we face, get enough of that elsewhere.
This brought tears to my eyes. So, so true.
No one, regardless of the struggles they are facing with this disease, comes here to get the message board equivalent of a slap in the face. Most of us, regardless of the struggles we face, get enough of that elsewhere.
I read the now-deleted posts that you were replying to yesterday. I thought about stepping in but you were doing such a good job I decided that it was better I stayed out of it. There was enough confusing information going to Abigail without adding to it.
Now, on re-reading, it looks like you are criticising a quite different person who offered good advice. In the continuing thread you occasionally appear to be talking critically to yourself or others when in fact you were responding to posts which have now disappeared.
Moderators, when a person deletes all of their posts in this fashion, is there a way you could flag the space to show that it has been deleted to stop weird consequences like this please?
Cheers, Alan, T2, Australia.
Everything in Moderation - Except Laughter.
Indeed. Although, I think it's for the better that those posts were removed, this discussion doesn't make sense anymore. A 'placeholder' that indicates a post was deleted is a good idea, Alan.
Sorry but, just because you haven't gained weight doesn't mean all Type 1s don't. That is a huge generalization. It would be nice, but I know LOTS of Type 1s who have gained weight over the years; whether it's from the insulin or something else doesn't really matter, it still happened.
What you just posted here is not helpful in any way.
The OP said they know they are causing complications and risking their life by running their sugars high. Clearly there is something deeper going on, or else they would stop. I don't know much about eating disorders, but I DO know about the frustration of diabetes and weight gain (being overweight myself), and it is not easy. Everyone's body is different; some people have never had an issue with weight, other people struggle with it. How can you possibly comment on what someone must be "doing wrong" if you have never had experience with weight issues yourself. If it was as simple as using temporary rates and eating less then none of us would be overweight.
I wish the OP the best of luck and am glad they felt open enough to post and ask for help here. I agree with others that it sounds like therapy of some kind would help, but connecting with people here for encouragement is never a bad thing, either.
I've been on insulin for years and have never gained weight - insulin does not cause weight gain..in fact, i have a hard time keeping weight on.
You're right, I don't, but I was basing my comments on this which you posted above.
And it seems we want similar things for the OP, but they already said (twice) in their post that they are aware of what they are doing to their body. I don't think just yelling at them over and over again about something they already know is going to make them change anything or feel very welcome here.
Yelling might be the wrong word to use online, but your post came across as harsh and criticizing instead of knowing and understanding where the OP is coming from. That may not be what you intended, but that's how it came across to me and (seemingly) to others as well.
If I was posting to a new forum asking for help, reading a post like yours (when I bet every endocrinologist the OP has seen has told her the same thing) would not make me feel very good about posting or very welcomed by the community. In fact, I've posted to diabetes forums before and gotten those types of responses ... those are the ones I no longer visit. I don't think that's what anyone here wants.
It IS a lethal combination. It's also a complicated one that requires a delicate approach. That's all we're saying. She likely knows what she's doing and has heaped guilt trips upon guilt trips on her head.
Here's something else. Taking an immediate "Fix it or DIE!" approach can cause more harm. I don't want to go into the science and mechanics of it here, out of respect for the OP's journey ahead, but there is a definite argument for taking a slow and steady approach, the first step of which is coming to a safe space like this and looking for help.
I know how you feel. Have you had your thyroid checked? Your difficulty in losing weight may have to do with a thyroid disorder. Quite a few type 1s also develop Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, another autoimmune condition in which the thyroid becomes underactive due to a similar autoimmune attack. An underactive thyroid will create extra weight gain and make it difficult to lose weight. PLEASE get your thyroid checked if you haven't already. I've known a couple of T1s who had Hashimoto's and they went through hell until it was finally diagnosed.
I don't have any other advice for you other than to hang in there and try to find a treatment method that works. You should not be having so many lows that you are out of control and gaining weight, nor should you be skipping your insulin and risking complications. It's a tough balance, I know, but you have to find it.
I agree w/ BSC that the OP was very brave to post their story here. I'm not totally familiar w/ the condition but I am hoping that some of the more constructive suggestions like MyBustedPancreas might help?
I think what we all need to remember that there is no size fits most advice or diagnosis for any of these VERY complicated and individual emotions, issues, etc.. What we do need to do is be kind to one another. Abigail please find a therapist tomorrow who can help you before it is too late. You have an entire life in front of you. My guess is if you can find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and a good endo doctor to guide you through this journey you will be able to be happy and healthy.