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Permalink Reply by nel on November 14, 2011 at 9:01pm

I know of a gorgeous looking 23 year old , who died several years ago ...I don't want to read repeat stories ...tough love maybe required !!
Abby ( my short form for Abigail ) please get therapy if that's what it takes !!! ...
On the side I have been taking insulin for almost 30 years , now at age 71 ; my genes likely not the same as yours ...just thought of this : considered a pump ?? My weight was more on 4-5 shots daily , then when pumping ,...hope I don't sound too simplistic

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Permalink Reply by Melitta on November 14, 2011 at 9:02pm

Hi Abigail: I am so sorry for what you are going through. Have you seen Diabulimia Helpline? I met the young woman who runs it, Erin, and she is incredibly compassionate and knowledgeable. I hope you will consider reaching out to her--Erin is someone who has "been there." Also, there is a Diabulimia Support grooup here on TuD. And I would agree with MyBustedPancreas, hypothyroidism is SO common in women with Type 1 diabetes, and hypothyroidism can cause weight gain.

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Permalink Reply by VikkiToria on November 15, 2011 at 2:22am

Hi Abigail, my heart was so sore when I read this post. I have been a type 1 diabetic for 25 years and have also struggled with my weight. Our bodies are such intricate things. I was diagnosed with an under-active thyroid and Hashimotos at age 13, Fibromyalgia age 22, Thyroid cancer age 27 and now Diabetic retinopathy caused by the cancer and high sugars. Perhaps you should ask your doctor to check your thyroid, as this could also contribute to your metabolism. I'm not saying that this will fix everything, but there are so many things that could be causing your weight problems. Sometimes it's better to start at one place and go from there. Perhaps speaking to a therapist would also help. Being a type 1 diabetic makes controlling your weight that much harder, I know. But you should really try not to compromise your diabetes for being thin. I know this is not what you want to hear, but that is what I did, and I thought there could be nothing worse than being fat, until I lost all sight in my left eye. A beautiful person is not what you see on the outside, its when you see how beautiful their heart is, and only someone that sees your heart should be allowed into it. You are such a brave young lady for carrying this disease, do not let your weight control who you are. You were created in God's image and he loves every part of you! I will pray that God eases your pain and sends people on your way that will help you.

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Permalink Reply by Abigail.C. on November 15, 2011 at 3:26am

Thank you so much for your replies.Honestly I feel ye are sincere people who really ubderstand where I am coming from.I am going to atart taking my boluses for one meal at a time and I will try exercise with glucose tabs rather than food.To answer your questions I am a type 1 diabetic..I use novarapid insulin on a pump(are there any other insulins that would cause less weight gain??) I am normal weight now I am 5 foot 4" and I weigh 138 pounds. 2 months ago I weighed 161 pounds.

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Permalink Reply by VikkiToria on November 15, 2011 at 3:36am

So glad to hear that! I am not sure about the insulin, perhaps it will be better to ask your endo. Take each meal a step at a time. I write down everything I eat, that also sometimes helps. And I test my sugars about 7-10 times a day. Maybe keeping a diary will help you see where you can improve and take better control.
Please keep us updated and shout if you need anything.
My heart goes out to you.

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Permalink Reply by jrtpup on November 15, 2011 at 1:39pm

WTG Abigail! You took a huge leap of faith posting your story; I'm confident that you posted to the right place :)

Starting with one thing at a time (boluses for one meal, glucose tabs for exercise) is a really good plan. Trying to change too much at once, IMO, is a recipe for failure as can be so overwheming.

I totally agree with others who've said to find a counselor who specializes in eating disorders. It would be such a great support for you. Consider that as your next 'one thing' ;)

Oh, and welcome to the TuD family!

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Permalink Reply by Meghann Faye Tinker on November 15, 2011 at 4:06am

Hi, Abigail. I applaud you for being so brave and honest. The truth is, I also have been struggling with diabulimia since my high school years. I've had T1 since 1990, and I can't stand the thought of gaining another pound. I go back and forth - taking excellent care of myself, counting my carbohydrates, and taking my insulin regularly (through insulin pump or syringes).

The problem is, the more insulin we take to bring those high numbers down, the easier it is to gain weight. So, while we are thinking that withholding the insulin will make us lose weight (and initially, it does), it will actually put more weight on! The better controlled our diabetes is, and the less insulin we have to use to correct our blood sugars, will actually help us maintain and or lose weight. You just need a support buddy - I can be that person, anyone on this website can be that person. We can see one another through this.

And who wants to feel crappy, anyway? I hate how I feel when my blood sugar is sky high and I don't take my insulin.

Do you happen to have a thyroid issue? I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, and I know that makes my weight go up and down. My menstrual periods are irregular as well. My endocrinologist suggested trying a Gluten Free diet - I try my best to stay away from processed foods and try to limit my starches and sugars. I walk 30 minutes a day, and I am fairly active in my job.

If you need an online buddy, please do not hesitate to reach out - we are all here, and I relate to the struggle you are going through.

I came across this article, and wanted to share: http://www.dlife.com/diabetes-food-and-fitness/weight_management/co...

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Permalink Reply by Abigail.C. on November 16, 2011 at 5:04am

Hi!:) I just want to say a huge thank you to alll of you who replied to me on this post...I am now taking all my insulins again...bt I am still tempted to go bc to my old ways..ye are so right I need to talk to someone!One last question I have is when I wasnt taking my bolus insulin how much of my food was I absorbing?

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Permalink Reply by VikkiToria on November 16, 2011 at 5:31am

Is there not perhaps someone close to you that can also help you, someone that can be your advocate through all of this? I do believe that you need an advocate that can help you with your diabetes. Please do not go back to your old ways, as hard as it may seem, you can do this :-)
Perhaps this is an answer to your question:
"Failure to administer insulin places the body in a starvation state, resulting in breakdown of muscle and fat into ketone bodies and subsequently ketoacids, while at the same time making the body unable to process sugars that have been consumed, so the sugars are excreted in the urine rather than being used by the body for energy. This places the patient at risk of a life-threatening condition known as diabetic ketoacidosis. Prolonged failure to administer insulin results in long-term complications such as diabetic neuropathy. Insulin restriction is associated not only with increased rates of diabetes complications but increased mortality risk as well. Diabetics who restrict insulin die at earlier ages on average than those diabetics who use insulin properly."

This is what I did, and now I am completely blind in my left eye. If someone had only told me earlier that once you are blind from diabetes they cannot fix your retina, it's damaged for life. No glasses or contact lenses or anything else will help, I am blind. I am saddened by this, please, please try and speak to someone who can help you, before you get all these complications. You are so young and have so much to look forward to. You are too precious to God to allow yourself all this pain and frustration. Speak to your mom or anyone who you are close with, that will help you.
My prayers are with you.

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Permalink Reply by Abigail.C. on November 16, 2011 at 8:48am

Viki I will not go back to my old ways...I did nt have ketones when I wasnt giving my bolus insulin just high blood sugars.I reckon I was consuming 2000 kcal a day and I wonder how much of this I was absorbing?

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