Got some good advice a while back on why I need almost double the insulin when I work late and have to eat dinner at my desk. Last night was one of those nights. Except this time, instead of being high even with nearly double the insulin, I dropped to 50. Pretty sick and tired of this crap. How am I supposed to know if my body is going to demand 1:10 or 1:6? Should I just 'play it safe' and be very high afterwards? Should I play the odds that I will need the 1:6 9 times out of 10, and accept that on that that 10th time I will go very low?
I hated MDI b/c my levels were pretty crazy. But honestly, they are crazy on the pump too. I no longer believe there is a way to stay even. I am going to be up and down all the time no matter what I do. My insulin:carb seems to vary on a whim.
Let me also slam the pump for other reasons. They tell you the pump site won't bother you. Utter bull. Half the time it gets irritated for various reasons, including accidentally yanking on the tubing, you banging it, other people banging it, etc. They tell you it won't interfere with your sleep. Well, when the site is irritated, I can't sleep on that side. The tubing gets in the way as I toss and turn, etc. When the site is irritated, taking a bolus is painful. The pump is also annoying to carry around in my pocket - I think the bulge looks terrible. I think it looks worse clipped to my belt, and I don't always wear a belt anyway. I don't want to strap it to my leg b/c then I can't easily access it. In short, the pump is just a gimmick. I hate it. I have nothing nice to say about it other than when necessary, I am able to skip a meal. That is the ONE thing it's good for.
I am told I should exercise more, but that's going to mean even more wacky insulin:carb swings. No thanks.
I want one day off. I am raging right now. So mad at diabetes and my useless doctors. I give so much time and effort to this disease, and I feel it gets me no where. Maybe I should stop giving a shit.