My fiance has stood by me while I've discovered what T1 is. I was diagnosed at 14 and we started dating when I was 15, So, seeing as I am the only diabetic in my family, I had to seriously relearn how to live my entire life, dragging my family along with me. He stood by me while I messed up, sending myself to the ER at least five times in the first year that we were dating. He has offered support by gathering people for walk a thons, fundraising and simply letting me talk when I'm so frustrated with this stupid disease that I want to scream. (I have thrown my pump across the room many many many times, so frustrated that I just wanted to give up completely)
There was even a time that, even though he loved me, we separated for a few weeks to give me time to refocus on what's important. Even though I know that it broke his heart as much as mine, it was necessary for me to step out of myself and focus on my life. Because for a time, I was ignoring my health completely, and just "hoping for the best". He told me that he wants to be married to me and to have babies and to get wrinkles together- but with my assumption that I wouldn't live passed 40, the future with me was pretty bleak. (I've since gotten a much better sense of myself, don't worry)
I am a really strong person, but sometimes when I break, as it is necessary to do to grow, he is there for me with his bare shoulder, ready for my tears and fears. He is my strength when I am crying, because he also will point out what I need to research- and he'll research things for T1 that I didn't even think about looking for- baring the information like a gift.
Things he could do better: When I'm having a rough time with my diabetes and getting kind of cranky, he could gently ask that I test my BS, instead of getting upset that I'm moody.
Other than that, he's pretty darned perfect! Sappy, I know... sorry.
Yeah, pretty much everything you said applies to my husband.. he's been there since the beginning but he just doesn't "get it" and nothing I have tried to do to help him understand has really helped :(
I try not to make it an issue in our marriage, but unfortunately the fact remains that is is, and likely will always be.
I view the replies to this discussion as facts and not as criticisms. My hubby has his good days and his bad regarding my diabetes and treatment. When I'm not feeling well or need to discuss something new, such as a test result, doctor's appointment, etc, he's very supportive. But when I need to ruminate about my diabetes, doctors, treatment, diet, etc., his eyes glaze over. If I continue, he'll basically tell me to shut up.
I wonder if he just doesn't understand it? I know that my fiance has a hard time understanding my disease, and no matter how many times I've tried to gently explain it to him, for some reason it just doesn't "click". It took almost four years for him to finally understand that if I'm "high" then I DO NOT need food. haha.
My Wife is the BEST Top Notch 100% always there for me even sometimes when i am not there for myself!! She Rocks awesome gives all she has and then more I couldnt have found a better woman to support me and help me in ALL things in my life even this horrid disease! MY WIFE RULZ
well actually since it's almost my diabverssary i would like to thank my ex boyfriend for taking me to the hospital when almost went into DKA. He really did help me, even though we didn't know anything about diabetes he made me burgers and salad to eat because he was afraid i couldn't eat complex carbs, on the day before the hospital. He helped me write sugars down and helped cook dinners for me. Now my current boyfriend is always there to help me. I even let him give me a shot once! When i was feeling low he made me a pb and j sandwich. Though he isn't hundred percent involved or aware of my sugars he still tries to help remind me to take my medicine or get something to eat. He pretty much distracts me from overthinking my diabetes, but it makes me proud that he knows alot about diabetes and what to do in emergencies and he knows the medicine i take. The only thing i could ever ask from him is to continue to support me, because believe it or not i haven't had perfect sugars while being with him. So i know it means the world to him that i'm taking care of myself. As for my family... well they haven't really been around since i've been diabetic. My dad helps by finding out information or helping pay for test strips and my mom reminds me to take care of myself and offers to help when she can. My sister, who is 14, just asks me if i'm checking my sugars but i think she's ready to try giving me a shot. Hey she wants to be a nurse some day and she will be well versed in diabetes care by me!
Dh has always been on the overprotective side of me and my diabetes...to the point I wanted to harm him physically. One day I barked at him when he told me one too many times I shouldn't be eating this or that, and his eyes got all watery and he said "I just want to grow old with you"
Ever since then if he starts with his lecturing I stop him, give him a hug and say "I love you too".
Ah, it's so hard sometimes to get out of the "diabetes focus". It seems like everyone around us "knows" more about our disease than we do. I say "knows" in quotes because most people don't have a CLUE, but they definitely don't mind sharing their opions with us on what we should be doing better.
It's worse than taking weight loss advice from someone who's bigger than you.
So, I get that way too. Especially if my BS is high, I get really cranky, and if he says something, I will try my hardest not to snap at him... but if I do- like you do, I give him a hug too. Sometimes it's like an all-out warzone around my diabetes care.
I think it's just because he's scared... maybe morese than I am.