I'll try to keep this short, but basically I'm looking for some cyber-support about an appointment I have with my nurse practitioner today.
I'm WAY overdue for this appointment... can't tell you how long it's been... I've been putting it off. I've also missed appointments with my endocrinologist because I just can't face it.
As a result, I've been, well, a bad patient. I know we hate the term "noncompliant" - but that's what I am. I can't bring myself to type what my last A1c result was, but you can probably imagine.
I am forcing myself to go to this appointment today, even though I have no numbers, no progress, no ANYTHING to show. I am forcing myself to face the music and get on a path to doing the right thing (not just for me but for my two amazing kids...).
Any words of advice/comfort/empathy?
(And don't bother with the scolding... because I've done enough of that at myself.)
Thanks for clarifying, Aimee. I didn't know that it communicated the blood sugar reading! I like to know at least a little bit about the other pumps.
You must have Harvard Pilgrim Healthcare, they made me switch to the Freesytle strips but said anyone with a pump was exempt from the strip switch. It's fairly easy to get your doc to authorize and once it is done it is done for life.
We cant wait to hear how well you do! keep us updated!
Hey!! So I know you have already had the appointment and all but I wanted to respond anyways! I have been D for 27 years! I have, as I'm sure most have, gone through ups and downs! 3 years ago I was in a similar experience...not wanting to go because I didn't take care of myself! Well it didn't go so well for me! I was recently seperated with two young kids and ended up in a coma. I was out for 8 days! It was a horrible experience! Needless to say I got my life back on track and started to take care again! And then...stopped caring again! I have no idea why...I just din't like my dr and it made it hard to go and see him...and well I dont know why, but anyways ended up back in the hospital with ketoacidosis! Thats when I met the most amazing diabetic educator, she said you know the past has been rough but we can't change that! All we can do is work to fix the future! If I have a checkup with her and I have a bad week oe two...she doesn't make me feel like a failure! She just keeps saying lets keep going! I think that is what every diabetic needs to hear...we can't change what has happened lets just keep going forward and make the best of what we can! She told me we are diabetic and can't expect to be perfect all the time! And those two kids love you more then you know! They need their mommy! My kids are constantly asking if I'm low or if I have taken my blood...sometimes it becomes annoying lol but I know they do it because they care!
So it seems like I am rambling, so I'll stop now! Just know that we are here to support you no matter what!!
Lissa if you need testing supplies in a hurry go to walmart. They have a meter that is only $9 and test stripes that are $37 for 100.
That's what I ended up doing. I picked up a box of 25 strips for about $30 (seems outrageous) and my doctor is sending in a prior authorization form to the insurance company to get my brand of strips covered. Ugh! :-)
The strips will almost surely be approved. When I went on a Cozmo pump 4 years ago, BCBS wouldn't cover the FreeStyle strips without prior authorization. But when they approved, it was for my lifetime. Of course the Cozmo meter and the related strips are now off the market but....
I'm as "compliant" as can be and yet my BG got to 209 last Sunday, and over 145 two days in a row of late. I think my honeymoon is over. Happy D day, "two years old", for me was July 10. Hope just getting back on the old meds will be enough. I blame my stupid pancreas,never me.
One time I was seeing a specialist for something not related to db.
He was looking on my chart and saw that my A1C was 6.9. He said "that's pretty good - you know, we in the medical profession know that diabetics are NOTORIOUS for not taking care of themselves".
Say what? Do you want me to whack you upside the head?
Well, the appt ended badly, with me crying and getting defensive and telling him he had no idea how hard it was, blah blah blah.
It has only been within the last 5 years (T1 for 38 yr) that I've found a care team of people who really get it. Now I don't worry about being judged or scolded or threatened with stories of going blind. And what difference it makes.
I always used to say I didn't have my calendar with me and would call later to reschedule my next appt. Before I knew it, months had gone by. Now I schedule a new one when I leave and promise myself I'll keep it.
Wow I just happened to come across your Post and you sound a little like me. I am usaully terrified to go to my Endo when I'm being bad (A1C 10.0 currently)because sometimes I get a scolding when I'm not prepared with my weekly log sheets but as my Endo told me 3 months ago when I was actaully being good with everything and she praised me for being one of her more organized Patients (these past couple of months I gave up and was scared to go to my appointment last week).But long story short she said "that it's not about her when patients are not doing the right thing it's about the Patients doing the right thing by themselves".
I identify with you on your post because for me I do not want this anymore, I want to wake up one morning and put on a new pair of shoe's so to speak and never look back.
Now I know since you posted this in July im sure you went to your Nurse Practitioner and things most likely went well for you I hope. They can only help educate and inform you of things.
Anyway do it for yourself and use your Kids as a great motivater.