Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by elizabeth.redman178 on November 20, 2012 at 10:24am

Wow! Thank you so much!

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Permalink Reply by David (dns) on November 20, 2012 at 11:23am

Motivation is one of the toughest things there is. As a very smart executive once said, "You cannot motivate people -- that door is locked from the inside. All you can do is establish the conditions under which they can motivate themselves, if they choose to."

What that translates to is, everyone has to find their own personal key. For me, it was testing. For a long time I did the bare minimum in terms of management and had only mediocre control, which sounds very similar to what you're doing. Then two things happened: my A1c, which had always been somewhere in the sixes, climbed to 7.1. Right about the same time, I read a book that got me wanting to know how my BG was really behaving, as opposed to what I imagined it was doing, without any direct evidence.

So I started testing consistently and keeping a log. What I saw got me sufficiently worried to make me get off the fence and take action. I'll spare you the chapter and verse, but all the above happened last Winter and Spring, and as the result of what I began doing my control is now better than it has ever been. My last A1c was 5.7 and I expect the next one to be lower still.

Testing and seeing the numbers makes it impossible to pretend any longer. I know how my BG behaves now, I know what the long term result will be if I don't control it, and since there is still time to do something about it, I am.

That's what did it for me. You need to figure out what will do it for you.

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Permalink Reply by jrtpup on November 20, 2012 at 1:04pm

Elizabeth, good for you for posting here! It's a big first step for you to acknowledge what's going on and take the first step to change it.

I can't really add anything to what's been said, except to set small goals. Test every morning. Once that's routine, test before lunch. Baby steps, but huge satisfaction is accomplishing them.

What is your goal for yourself around D? Having a concrete goal makes it easier to take action.
You can do this!!

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Permalink Reply by elizabeth.redman178 on November 20, 2012 at 1:56pm

Thank you everyone...I went to see my endo today and A1C was 10.3. Very disappointing but I knew that was coming. We talked about some things I can do to get better control and best idea was to set alarms on my phone. I think this will work for a little while but somehow I feel like I will ignore the alarms after a little while.

Otherwise my mini goal for now is to check every morning for a week. Starting tomorrow morning. We will see how this goes. Hopefully it works. Then after that it will be checking and bolusing every morning. Then lunch etc.

Well my alarm just went off so time to go test. :)

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Permalink Reply by Leo2 on November 21, 2012 at 5:15pm

Elizabeth,
I'd like to see you do enough for yourself that you'll see a difference in the shortest period of time. Isn't that what you'd like? In 3 months of the right activities, you could have a 7 A1c!
I hope you will, instead, devise a plan that hits the activities that give you feedback and that give you direction for the insulin doses you need. Getting feedback quickly is what students need. You'll use it with your high schoolers. Use it with yourself.
It takes a routine, not one check every morning for a week. This is your body that you want to use for 30 years in a challenging profession! Get it in line by doing what's needed. Approach this with GUSTO!
You want both feedback and direction on doses. Did your Endo give you a team that will help adjust doses? If not, ask for one.

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Permalink Reply by elizabeth.redman178 on November 21, 2012 at 6:35pm

I mostly adjust things as needed and if I need help I can call them at any time.

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Permalink Reply by Leo2 on November 24, 2012 at 2:45pm

Elizabeth, I just got back from a trip, so just now saw your post here. Mostly adjusting things as needed and calling them at any time is not working if you have an a1c of 10.3. In my book that equals 250mg/dL. Get on a routine, learn your sensitivity, learn your i:c ratios thru the day and use them for every meal. You need someone looking over your food book, your test results, your doses given, and giving ideas. Get a CDE/coach who meets with you once a week for a few weeks. Do your basal test as well and ensure you're staying in target around the clock.

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Permalink Reply by Frank Olsen on November 21, 2012 at 2:22am

Hi Elizabeth,
I don't have much advice for you regarding motivation but your statement "I never feel sick" is what got my attention. I've had type 1 for more than 50 years and probably the first 25 I was like you, partly because we didn't have much or any technology for good control. My motivation was jump started with the invention of blood glucose testing, better insulins, pumps etc. I never cared much about diabetes control, just take one big long acting insulin shot a day, eat/drink anything, more candy when I felt hypo, but I was fascinated with these newer technologies that came along and I jumped at all of them, not exclusively because I wanted to improve my diabetes, I just always gravitate to new things and ideas. The better control just came along as a big benefit.

What I didn't expect was my 25 years of thinking "I feel OK" was abruptly contradicted. As my A1C came down, although A1C wasn't invented yet, I realized a whole, dramatic difference in the way I felt. Wow, this is how we're supposed to feel. What I thought was how us humans should feel was drastically false. I now look back and think how did I ever survive feeling SO bad, we just adapt. I also never thought I was depressed then but getting better control changed my mood, Wow, this is how feeling good is! I didn't happen overnight, it was gradual but dramatic.

Because I had adopted these new control technologies so early, I started pumps in the late 70's and was one of the first pump users, I had been invited to speak at a few ADA groups demonstrating/showing this new pump treatment. I was contacted by a woman who was struggling with probably the same motivational issues your experiencing. At that time I hadn't been emphasizing the "feel OK illusion" that I'm sure most type 1's experienced back then. We didn't have many tools for good control back then. This woman couldn't believe how much of my time was taken up taking care of my D control. She told me she was shocked by how much of my time was devoted to my D, she called me obsessive about it (which I know I am) and she was unwilling to change. She commented "your whole existence is taking care of your diabetes!" Yes, it does take lots of time, can be extremely frustrating, but I've learned, and keep learning that we have to accept "the hand we've been dealt". We have to "think like a pancreas" and it becomes the normal, no big deal. I don't dwell on the time I spend on D, it's the normal, like breathing.

The sad conclusion to this young woman's story is that she died a few months later at the hand of some snake oil salesman who convinced her that he could cure her diabetes by praying it away and convinced her to stop taking insulin, she was dead in a couple days before anyone in her family new what was going on. It still haunts me today.

I was also lucky because both my two siblings are also type 1, all diagnosed about the same time, all 3 of us more than 50 years now. This was my support group and also our family normal. Get involved with anyone you can, especially socially. My involvement with the ADA helped my motivation, just meeting and talking with others in the same boat.

Embrace the tools we have now days, you'll reap the benefits of good control and years from now you'll look back and know you're better for it. Even though it hasn't always been an easy trip sometimes I think I'm better because I have D and have overcome its challenges.

Good luck Elizabeth, you've already got a good start by just thinking and asking about it,

Frank

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Permalink Reply by lotsofshots on November 21, 2012 at 4:34am

I was the same way a long time ago. I was Type 1 and when I was young I did the same thing for a while when I would get sick of diabetes. I always took my insulin, but didn't check or keep track of my readings, or eat properly. I did a lot of exercise back then and was in good shape and felt pretty good, so it didn't seem to matter.
After a while, the highs and lows started getting to me. I got depressed and started feeling sluggish. Then I found TuDiabetes and asked for help. I read all the information here on the links and in the groups, forums and blogs. Slowly everything fell into place. I made great friends over time that I would have never met without diabetes. 
I used to have a hard time with work and diabetes as well. I used to put off the diabetes care all day because I was too busy at work and then wonder why I felt so run down at night and on the weekends and crabby.
I learned more here on this site than anywhere, and now I am doing really well with a low carb diet, checking BG all the time, and having good control. I never think that much about diabetes now, do things pretty automatically.I feel really proud about having conquered something difficult, like getting discipline over diet, timing, planning, being responsible with insulin and exercising.
I think diabetes kind of gives us an advantage over other people because they take their health for granted and we have to work for ours. We can relish our victories. 
I wish you the best of luck, and I think you are going to enjoy learning new things to make yourself very healthy and be looking forward to a long happy future soon.

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Permalink Reply by Josephine A Ni Dhomhnaill on November 21, 2012 at 5:15am

As someone earlier mentioned the effects of neglecting control take a long time to show but once they start it can be quite terrifying. This time last year I was ill, this year I hardly recognise myself. I feel like I've been given my life back. You may not feel ill at the moment but you can avoid a lot of pain and fear if you take control now. Also you won't feel bad about ignoring it. Taking control is the most massive pain in the bum sometimes but it's better than letting it control you. Also agree with Frank there, if this is how normal feels it's amazing. I didn't know what health felt like.

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Permalink Reply by MyBustedPancreas on November 24, 2012 at 2:55pm

You've gotten a lot of good advice here. It's up to you to use it.  Every one of us has probably gone through spurts of what you're going through.  It's a common experience for T1s. This disease is demanding and frustrating and time-consuming.  Unfortunately, I have read some posts on here from T1s who did neglect things for too long and ended up with irreversible complications.  It's sad, and all I can tell you is that it happens.  And once it happens, there's no going back. 

One thing to remember is that --- YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! Many of us have been where you are, and many of us understand how you feel. 

Start with changing just one or two things, like testing first thing in the AM or counting the carbs accurately for at least one meal.  Once you've gotten one or two of those changes under your belt, tackle another one. 

You can't make every day perfect.  Yes, there are some meals that I totally SWAG for and sometimes when I skip testing before a meal.  But I make these the exceptions, and no the rules!

You mention that your job is playing into your inability to find a routine.  Yes, then finding a new job might be a good idea.  But you can also find a schedule within your job.  It's possible.  Many of us work crazy hours and are able to maintain decent control.

What is, in your opinion, the most significant contributor at this point to your high A1C?  What is one thing you're doing or not doing that is leading to high BGs? 

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Permalink Reply by elizabeth.redman178 on November 24, 2012 at 6:26pm

I was pretty much ignoring the fact that I even had diabetes. Pretending it wasn't there. Since my last apt. and since posting on here I have been in pretty good control. 7 day average is 143. I am SO happy with that. It's frustrating that it has only been 5 days though and it seems like I have been working like crazy to keep my numbers under control. But then when I REALLY think about it, it's not that bad really. I am so thankful for all of you supporting me with this struggle.

Thanks so much!!

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