My blood sugars are high and I'm having a panic attack

So my blood sugars were 204 an hour and a half after lunch, so I gave myself 30 units in the muscle and figured that would take me down pretty low (but at least I wouldn't be high).  I might have given myself more, but I'd run out of insulin, and I'm at work, which is a long way from home.  Anyway, my blood sugars just keep going up.  I'm now 241 and they're staying steady.  I just keep testing every 2 minutes, and I'm 224, then 234, then 238, then 240, then 241. 

Anyway, I'm having a panic attack and crying, because this makes me so mad.  I know it's just for a short period of time and that I'll go home and give myself a couple hundred units of insulin to make up for this, but that doesn't make me feel any better now.  I don't want to be 240.  I want to be IN RANGE! Or at least low.  I'd exercise, but, first off, I'm at work, and secondly, my blood sugars always shoot up really high when I exercise while high. 

I just wanted to complain to people who'd understand.  I'm completely panicking, even though I keep telling myself it's no big deal.  How can people stand to have high blood sugars?  I just don't get it.  Okay, I need to go find myself a paper bag to breathe into before I start hyperventilating.

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My situation... when I was sick it is contrary to what you are saying.
Day before I went to a GP my blood pressure was normal for me approx 110/70 with a random glucose test (I had not eaten in a few hours) was 90.
Next day I went to the GP. My FBS was in the 180's and my BP was elevated. I can't remember the exact number but I know 140 range was one of them.
I probaby had a systemic infection but still the numbers do not match what you are saying. Why would that be?
It is very easy. You can not derive relationships from single measurements. This is true for most biological systems. The blood pressure is constantly adjusting to the current situation. There are always peaks and valleys. This is why only 24 hour BP measurements will allow to determine the need for medication if you have been measured on the borderline of 140.

Let us assume for a moment that the blood pressure is connected to the blood glucose. Have all the pharma companies overlooked this? They invented complicated blood needing catalytic measurement methods for something that can be determined with an external device? I am sorry but in todays competitive markets this is simply impossible.
*Usually when I give myself a hundred units or so, I think
*have to down a 6 cans of soda or something just to remain
*conscious, but I figure that's better than being high.

This is a truly extreme example of the rollercoaster of REACTING to bg's, instead of making little PROACTIVE adjustments. I mean, truly extreme.

I mean, truly truly extreme. It's possible for some to get wrapped up in the little twisted loop of diabulemia, being so concerned about weight and food that they purposefully go into DKA. But you're at the other extreme and in almost complete certainty way more dangerous (e.g. fatal) because you're wrapped up in the little loop of food/insulin/bg that spins so fast and so wildly, that it's dangerous.

I recognize that sometimes I get wrapped up in little loops of negative self-reinforcing behavior but usually I can snap myself out of them. But this... wow.
No offense, but it sounds like you have no idea how to treat yourself. See a doctor and take some classes. The way you treat yourself is a danger to yourself, and those around you.
Yowza, injecting in your muscle is perhaps a way of getting a fast insulin response, but it can have very unpredictable results. You need to step back and take a breather. I don't know your insulin sensitivity, but for most, 30 units in muscle would be a bit extreme. And it never makes sense to test every 2 minutes, test every 15 minutes at most.

I know you want to be in range and everyone here feels the same way, they want to quickly get into a good blood sugar range, but you need to do this safely. Your feelings about this appear out of proportion. You are in a panic over this and you feelings over this are extreme. You are a T1, sometimes stuff happens and your blood sugar goes high. You need to safely and smoothly respond to the situation. If you abruptly bring your blood sugar down you can go to low, and that can be much worse than being a bit high.

I looked at your profile and you have an HbA1c of 5% (even 4.8% apparently). I guess I would ask you whether you really are being too harsh on yourself about this level of control. In order to stay at this level, you usually need to severely limit your carbs and take special care with your insulin, bolusing and often correcting. You are exposing yourself to high levels of stress dealing with these variations and I would be very concerned about overcorrecting and having a harsh low. Just be safe. Step back, take a breather and treat yourself with cold careful logic, not panic.

You might want to sit down and talk with your endo or CDE about your blood sugar targets and management strategy. Tight control is all fine and dandy, but using high levels of insulin to bring down highs and then high levels of glucose to recover from lows is a total recipe for disaster.
Hey, now. It's been at least a month since I passed out from a low. Since I used to average a couple a day, all of my healthcare workers are terribly proud of me. Anyway, yes, I refuse to go high. Today, I told myself that I was going to be okay with it, but then it happened, and I just started panicking. As soon as my sugars go down, I know I'm overreacting and being completely ridiculous, but while I'm high, I just can't think about anything but the high and how awful it is. (I never have any logical reasons to explain why it's so awful, I just KNOW it is.)

But, yes, to stay at my 4.5 to 5.0 A1c average causes tremendous amounts of stress. I constantly think about my blood sugars, where they are, where they're going, and I don't really like it, but I'm obsessive, so I tend to obsess over my diabetes.
Anna...I totally agree with everything bsc said and I think he said it in a very understanding and tactful manner. I will probably not do as well. I'm shocked by your post and the risks you are taking with your well-being. Taking massive amounts of fast-acting insulin and then having to "gulp six cans of soda" to avoid passing out from the consequent hypo, is possibly worse for your diabetes than being high to begin with. Not only are wild swings in blood sugar found to put us at risk for complications, but over-treating highs to the extent you reported is putting yourself at risk for seizure, coma and death. I understand the desire to avoid complications but if you kill yourself what is the point??

Your description of your reaction to the occasional high blood sugar makes me think there is something else going on for you other than just the desire to maintain a good A1C or avoid the risk of complications. There is something about seeing the high numbers that seems to be affecting your very sense of self and putting you into a panic. I strongly encourage you to get a referral to a therapist, preferably one experienced in working with people with Diabetes and to work through this issue before you put yourself at any more risk.
#$^#&@$%@%ing insurance company denied me. And my appeal. And my appeal of the appeal. I hate insurance companies. (And, no, I promptly fell 100 points in about 20 minutes, so I didn't get to 242. I feel much better now.)
Sit back and use the experience to make a plan. ok, you've done that before! Haven't we all!!
Figure what would have helped you this time if you'd had it around? A punching ball, weights, anger management friend.
Your plan: insulin with you at work anytime away from home, tester with double the # strips you'll need. A reminder of how far down 1 unit takes you. A reminder of how far up 1 gram takes you. Wow! you're taking 15 x the amount of insulin I'd take for that! You're only reducing 100 mm/dL. Does 1 unit take you down only 3 mm/dL? I'm learning so much from you!
Your list of never eat this: a list of foods and amounts that put you up there. But no! a refiguring the grams of the foods since they'll be in the menu tomorrow..
Your list of how to react when (not if) it happens again: sit back, count to 10, look around for that insulin and your reminders, calculate the insulin amount on board.
I hope you realize I'm trying to make you laugh at all my idiocy. Seriously, I'm commisserating with you. And I hope you didn't overreact with that 30 units. Overreaction without the math can breed overcorrection as a repetitive action.
There is so much to learn from each one of us. Cheer up! And move on! Put it behind you!
Dude. You're making it sound way too complicated. It's so much easier to just shoot yourself full of insulin and know that you're going to be 40 or so in an hour. Trust me on this. And now I can look at it logically and develop a plan, but the next time I'm high, I'm gonna be reaching for a 50 unit syringe and filling it full a couple of times.
Anna,
I have little else to add but these two comments:
* Anxiety and stress will also elevate your blood sugars, so that is one factor that is within your control (and costs less than insulin and test strips to manage), that will help you avoid some BG highs.
* BSC said it: you have a pretty low A1c, so your averages are pretty decent (granted that we can have good A1cs as a result of combining highs and lows). Try to not be so hard on yourself.
No honey, it's not easier to overdose yourself. If a little is good, a lot is not better. Know you hate highs & no one likes them.

Since you're concerned about highs, you should be equally worried about what crashing down too fast is also doing to you. To me, one of the worst feelings is plummeting after a high. Makes me feel awful. The swings between high & too low is extremely damaging.

I'd be dead within an hour from a 30 unit correction. Hope you weren't serious about giving yourself a couple hundred units of insulin to make up for this. There is no "making up for it."

Know you've written here about your lows & fears of highs. Please, please stop taking revenge on your body. Come here the next time you're high & talk to us before ravaging yourself with too much insulin.

With your history of persistent lows, it's surprising you weren't approved for a CGM.

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