Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by jrtpup on May 3, 2012 at 12:10pm

You do nothing Timmy. Their problems are theirs, not yours. You did nothing wrong, I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle. If your mom has an issue with his doc, she can talk with his doc. If your dad is angry because you told your mom, let him know that you don't want to keep secrets and to please not tell you anything you can't share.

Oh... and big virtual *hugs*!

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Permalink Reply by Benjamin McLaughlin on May 3, 2012 at 12:22pm

I'm sorry about this Timmy, there absolutely nothing good about that situation. I do find it crazy from a diabetic standpoint that she tries to justify him being on meds because he wants to eat burgers. That in itself is a diagnosis of diabetes. Any normal pancreas easily takes care of burgers, fries, and just about anything else you put with it. If she has the knowledge that his body can't handle that food, then she has the knowledge that he is indeed diabetic. You are in my prayers...

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Permalink Reply by TimmyMac on May 3, 2012 at 6:24pm

yeah, when mom said that, I just did that typical teen aged "Whatever" eyeroll and walked out of that conversation. Theres just no reasoning with her!

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Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on May 3, 2012 at 6:34pm

Does your mom have some sort of science/ medical background so that she'd have an opinion or facts, even if they are wrong? If I were you, I'd stay out of telling either of them *anything* about the other one. If there's an acrimonious divorce, or even a jolly one, anything that's said can be used against everyone. Any little tidbit will serve to affect the "value" of one's claim against the other and, frustrating though it may be, I think staying out is the best policy...

Re the diabetes, it may be ok to help yr dad but I'd say only do it ftf until the dispute(s) are resolved.

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Permalink Reply by TimmyMac on May 3, 2012 at 6:39pm

she has none at all.. but that does stop her from having opinions. (ex: she thinks the reason I had strep 7 times in 1 year was because it was "hiding" in my privates! then she got mad when the doctor gave her a o_0 look lol. thats probably TMI, but you get the point)

and I've kinda learned not to tell them things, but I figured the diagnosis of a serious medical condition was important info!

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Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on May 3, 2012 at 6:54pm

I would wait until it's settled. Anything you say can be used against them, by each other and will likely only complicate things, delay resolution and, possibly, your mom may use it against your dad? Not that maybe she's not entitled to but if you are "dragged in" as a "witness", I would think that'd be at least a bit uncomfortable?

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Permalink Reply by NatalieHodge on May 4, 2012 at 6:59am

yep that's definitiely wacky,and I am a pediatrician, your mom definitely has some underlying issues, are you type one? sometimes with a chronic illness, a child 's mom has an intensive fear of loss, and thus develops " vulnerable child syndrome" meaning your mom would be EXTRA worried about everything that happens to you even when it is not diabetes related, I see this a lot in my practice...

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Permalink Reply by TimmyMac on May 4, 2012 at 2:05pm

thats just the thing, she does get EXTRA worried about EVERYTHING that happens to me. She always has to know exactly where I am at all hours of the day. If I have to stay at work an hour extra, I'll have about 10 missed calls from her! but as soon as I DO injure myself or get sick, she tells me to stop complaining. "You see? you only tore it [my bicep] a little, so theres no need for these pain pills the doctor prescribed you!"

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Permalink Reply by Teena on May 3, 2012 at 7:19pm

Hugs Timmy...so sorry you are experiencing this. Let your parents settle their issues for now. You did nothing wrong and you just care for them both. Im sure they are just caught up with certain emotions right now but they both also care for you.

When they have both settled...then maybe that's the time they can deal with the diabetes issue.

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Permalink Reply by Emmy on May 3, 2012 at 8:05pm

I'd stay out of it if I were you. My parents put me in the middle of their battles most of my childhood. By the time I was a teen I had ulcers.

I'd recommend that you tell your dad about TuDiabetes, there are groups for type 2 here that he can join for support.

I would not discuss your dad's diabetes with your mom at all, but you can certainly talk about diabetes with your dad, when you are alone and your mom isn't there. There's no point in bringing it up when she's around right now.

You might consider telling your dad you're sorry for telling your mom, under the circumstances, he probably didn't want her to know that he'd told you. Hopefully it'll all blow over and some over issue will take center stage soon.

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Permalink Reply by Aimee on May 7, 2012 at 12:26pm

What a horrible situation to be in. I am so sorry! When people are in the midst of divorce they are so crazy that they sometimes bring others into it. My husband and I were separated for over a year and there were times when I did things I am not proud of. I love my kids and they have never done anything to deserve any of it, but I know there were times during the separation where I put them in the middle by talking about their dad in front of or even to them; or even arguing with him while they were in the house.
Your parents are hurting and they will probably say and do things to hurt you during this divorce. I hope that you will take comfort in knowing that it is not your fault. I hate to say it, but it probably doesn't matter how you handle yourself, you will probably be dragged into some of the unpleasantness anyway. I hope that you can do your best to remove yourself from it and make it THEIR issue.

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