There doesn't seem to be a "just general" category on here. I almost never post anything that isn't at least marginally diabetes related. But I feel as if you are all a part of my support community and I've written on here before about my amazing 18 year old survivor cat, so...
I've nearly lost Lula many times (both literally and figuratively many times over her life. Then she was diagnosed with chronic renal failure in September 2009 so I knew it wouldn't be much longer. Because of that I've spent every day appreciating her being a part of my life and letting her know it. She, of course, is a cat and so has taken full advantage of that fact! And I think when you live alone there is an added level to the bond with your cat friend.
I thought she would start to get sicker and then I would know the right time to put her to sleep. But it didn't happen that way. She had a heart attack last night and just like that she was gone. I was in shock and beside myself. But then I realized how much better that was then slowly getting worse and suffering. She was her normal self all day yesterday going in and out, sitting in her spot in the sun outside; jumping up on the hammock with me, getting her treat "tunie fish" I gave her twice a week in addition to her kidney diet. She sat in my lap while I typed around her on my laptop. Then it happened and she was gone. The vet said she didn't even know. So much better. When i worked with AIDS patients in SF during the height of the epidemic in the 80s people started talking about someone having "a good death". Lula had a good death....though right now it doesn't feel that way. I keep looking up at the sliding glass back door to see if she is waiting to be let in. I couldn't sleep last night because I'm used to her sleeping on my pillow (she always left me a corner!) Death - whether of a beloved pet, a friend or family member almost never makes any sense.
All I need is a picture and any wording you want. You don't have to create anything. When my art guy gets in I'll have him get me an image I can post. The one I have is way too big. I'll message you some contact i9nfo so we can go over details.
If Randy's option doesn't work out, there are also lots of online resources for pet memorial items. You might be able to find something that way that would fit within your budget, but also be a beautiful memorial to your relationship with Lula.
Thanks, Shawnmarie, that's probably what I'll end up doing.
Wow, thank you, Randy, that's amazing! I was trying to find the energy to start searching the internet!
When it stops raining here I'll finish the roll of film in my camera and develop it to see what shots I like.
Speaking of rain, whenever it rained Lula and I would have to go through this ritual where I'd open the door and say, "See Lula, rain-rain!" and she would peer out then look at me like I was nuts as she did a u-turn. Sometimes though she'd go out anyway and then I'd have to wrap her in a towel when she returned before her muddy paws got all over me or the couch.
Winston was mostly an indoor cat. Howrver he did like the covered patio (thus the term "catio"). Janet was always afraid to let him run. Shortly after he was born his mother stopped feeding him and Janet found him almost dead. She brought him back and bottle fed him until he was weened. He always had some quirks that she attributed to possible brain damage. He would go behind a piece of furniture and meow until you made eye contact so he could find his way out. More often he would just stop in mid stride and just stand there until you said his name. It was like he was in a trance. She always worried this would happen if he was out roaming the world and he would not be able to figure out how to get home. After living with him the last 4 years I'm pretty sure she was right. He was such a beautiful cat that she also worried some one would just take him. I agreed with her on that one too.
I think it good that we talk about what matters to us in our lives. Grief is so different for different people. I know you hurt. I would like to talk about cats, yet, I feel its probably inappropriate. Death sometimes does that to us: it should bring the good things in us together because we care. I care that you care (who else works with AIDS patients than those who care?) You are a good person and we are sorry about Lula
Sounds like you were wonderful parents to Winston, Randy. You took such good care of him and were in tune with his quirks and there to support him. He was so lucky Janet found him and brought him home!
Zoe, I am really sorry for your loss. Animals are very special and once you bond to your own special friend you form a true and loving relationship. I know you miss her very much and are hurting. I am glad that it helps to talk about it. Sending peaceful thoughts your way.
Yes, you both are so right. Non pet-people don't understand and so we don't talk with them about these things. Relentless, I know myself and I know I'm capable of pulling way to far into myself. That's why I make sure to reach out to others, especially when I hurt. It doesn't take the pain away, of course, but it let's me feel not so alone, and prevents my mind from getting too dark inside.
So sorry about your Lula.
Thank you, Christy!
Zoe, so sorry to hear about Lula. I know the loss you feel is immense. There is some peace in knowing she went gently. She was lucky to have you has her human.