Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Marie B on April 8, 2009 at 6:36am

hi, Christine! We had a discussion about this a while back, called "are you the chosen one?" There were 215 responses. btw, I am the only one in my family with type 1.

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Permalink Reply by Jessi <3 on April 9, 2009 at 8:56pm

I am the first in my family and to this day some extended family just does not get it. luckily i have had 3 other diabetics marry into my family in the last 10 years so there has been a better overall understanding and others to talk to, however they are all type 2 or 1.5. It is not always hereditary, and type 1 often is not, it's autoimmune, type 2 is hereditary most often. I was lucky enough that both my mom and my dad are physicians so they were able to take it a bit easier... but my mom does blame her self some, but because although my fam has no history of diabetes, it does have a history of thyroid conditions and other hormone inbalance ... and those do deal with similar body systems as diabetes

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on April 9, 2009 at 9:23pm

Renee,

Here's one more person telling you IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. You didn't do anything, or not do something, or let something slip between the cracks. Understand mothers feeling responsible for everything, but there's no blame here. You're an incredible mother.

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on April 9, 2009 at 9:24pm

Christine,

I'm Type 1 & the only one in my family on both sides.

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on April 9, 2009 at 9:44pm

Oh honey:( Incredible loving & devoted mothers can't be & aren't responsible for everything. Lots of people who aren't an ideal weight aren't diabetics. Realize this won't shake loose your blame, but we can't control other people's behavior regarding their weight or anything else.

Can imagine how horrible it feels, but you DIDN'T give this to your son. It happened, but not due to you.

If you insist on blaming yourself, please find a way to forgive yourself.

Love you, too. Can't bear knowing how you're beating yourself.

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Permalink Reply by Ellie on April 10, 2009 at 7:50am

Renee, gonna post again on this. Things I have learned in my life include that I do not have the power, and never did, to force any result with anyone outside myself, mother or no (in fact I often don't even have that kind of power over my own self!).

I have often said that I would love to put my kids back inside and start all over and do it right this time knowing what I know now. But...I am some comforted knowing that as parents we did and do the best we can/could with what we knew at the time. That is all we can do, except to move on being the best mothers/people we know how to be. And I know for sure you do that.

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Permalink Reply by Ellie on April 10, 2009 at 7:45am

Renee, I can understand your feelings, as my daughter has severe debilitating fibromyalgia, and I always feel there should have been something I could have done to prevent that. But...blaming ourselves at this point does no good. Like you, I would be glad to change places with her, so that she could have the kind of full life she was meant to have. On the other hand, both of my kids work to convince me that the things that are part of their lives have helped make them the total of who they are, and they have grown with and through their challenges, if that makes any sense. Sometimes it comforts me.

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Permalink Reply by Kitty Dremann on April 10, 2009 at 8:48am

I don't know how old your son is, but I think that he will have a better time in life dealing with his diabetes than someone my age that has had a life time of bad eating habits. Its hard at age 53 to find out that you have type 1.....my life as I knew it .....chips, chocolate and pasta was over and I now have to think and count everything that goes into my mouth. Your son has you to teach him and create a life of healthy eating which I consider a precious gift.
Keep up the good work Renee !!! You are a good Mom

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Permalink Reply by nel on April 9, 2009 at 9:20pm

My Mom is gone a long time ago ...1972 ...and I keep on saying to my Hubby , how proud she would have been , if she had known I was living with type 1 diabetes for over 26 years and all I have been able to accomplish since ...THANKS TO MY MOM and my upbringing ...I pray your MOM gets this resolved .
All the BEST ..N.

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