Hey everyone! I'm sure some of this ground has been covered, but I want to get all my fears and feelings of failure out there. I was recently diagnosed type I. I'm trying not to obsess over my numbers, but I feel like I'm failing miserably... Can you fail at being a diabetic? (Haha).
Here's the background: They originally thought it was type II and gave me Metformin, which I think squeezed my pancreas for all the insulin it had left because now that I'm on Humalog and Lantus, I have to take a ton of insulin... At least of the Humalog. I take one dose of Lantus in the mornings that is steadily increasing (at 15u this morning after I went up 40 points overnight). I have a really low carb ratio (meaning I take a lot of insulin for a little bit of carbs) and wonder whether or not it has to do with my basal. The only thing is that up until recently my basal was fine at 13 and I'd wake up at the same reading as when I went to sleep. Up until recently, I was doing an okay job with keeping my sugars in check using a 1:7 carb ratio, but last night I decided to try a 6.5ish and gave myself 7u for 46g of carbs (my reading was 105 before dinner) and before bed it had spiked to 252. I gave myself 3u to just get it into a more manageable number right before bed, woke myself up at 1:00am and it was 141 (much better), but in the morning it was 184. I guess that means my basal is off? Then what's really freaking me out is this morning I ate probably 10g of carbs for breakfast and took a whopping 8u just to see if it would bring my 184 reading down and account for my carbs, and three hours later it was 194. I've been having panic attacks at work, partially because I'm scared the insulin won't work for me and partially because higher blood sugars make me feel like doom is imminent (haha).
Basically, I was wondering how long it took you guys to get your BG under control. I want it to be perfectly under control because I've always been the kind of person who excels at things, but I know that's unreasonable. I just want to know if I should feel like a complete and utter failure for consistently getting at least one reading in the 200s per day. It's only been three months, but I hate myself whenever I get readings like that.
Also... Is it possible that insulin just won't work for me? It sounds like a dumb question, but it's my biggest fear right now (apart from the medley of diabetes complications I keep reading about lol).
Lastly, how many times a day should I test? My endo haggled with me when I said I wanted six or seven times a day and gave me five, but it's stressing me out. I feel like it's way too little. He told me to test waking, before lunch, before dinner and before bedtime, so that only gives me one extra test a day... I've been trying to experiment more with my insulin, so I've been going a low at least once every few days, and I'm stressing out because I feel like I'm using way too many test strips. :/
Sorry for the length. I just want to stop feeling inadequate. I'm killing myself trying to figure this out and having panic attacks pretty regularly. I know stress can make your readings higher, but it's a vicious cycle: I stress about not being able to get lower readings, which in turns raises my readings further, which in turn makes me stress. Ughhh. Diabetes is fun, no? /endrant
Hi, I'm also new to type I (17 years of 1.5, 1.5 years on basal insulin, 3 months on prandial insulin, 2 weeks on the pump), but being a doctor who cares for people with diabetes (albeit as a psychiatrist) you would think I would do better with this. I'm scared and confused a lot of the time, and my endo also wont prescrigbe enough strips. She tells me to test before and after each meal, at bedtime, and every 15 min if I'm high or low....and thinks this adds up to 150 strips a month.
I'm lucky, though, and was able to write my own prescription, but then I was afraid the insurance company would balk so I had my internist, who has better math skills, write the prescription for ten strip a day, thank goodness. I was surprised when I started to come on here to find that other endos have the same arithmetic problems mine does. they seem to feel that we are trying to get away with something-maybe selling those strips on the black market?
Your doctor's advice to test four times per day seems more appropriate for a Type 2 diagnosis. I don't understand his reluctance to write for whatever number you want.
I've been at this game for 28 years and my doctor writes me a prescription to test 16 times per day. In addition to some of the testing schedules included in previous comments I would add these: testing before driving and at least once per hour for longer drives; testing one or two times after giving a correction dose; testing a second time to confirm a very low or high number that necissitates more extreme treatment (a high insulin correction dose or a large amount of corrective carbs); testing when not feeling well; testing before, during, and after exercise; and any time you darn well think you may need it!
Testing only four times per day for a T1D is like taking a blindfolded drive on a crowded freeway and only allowing yourself to peek once every five minutes! Some people may get away with that but I'm not one of them. Of course, "your mileage may vary."
As the grandmother of everyone on here and of a lot who aren't:
1. Insist on an Endo who gives you a CGM, Dexcom by name. It's how you learn what different types of carbs are doiong to your BG and how fast. Devise your food record to hold your time, test record, food by name with grams/estimate, and # units each type insulin.
2. You take charge by saying you've got to test 8-10 times daily right now while you're getting it under control, while you're testing out small amounts of food and their effect on your BG, while you're doing extra trial and error.
3. This isn't your Dad's diabetes. You can get it under control and miss all the complications with the gadgetry that's available. As a college student, a pump is #2 and should be getting ordered now. If Endo isn't giving you these things, shop around. You're too young to miss these electronic helps. Get with a university or the best Endo group in your city - e.g., CDEs on his team.
4. Feeling inadequate for the job is par for the course. You can take deep breaths and let them out slowly. You've reached out here, and we all know what you're feeling. Hey, getting it under control is better done slowly than faster. Doing it ultra rapidly comes with its own set of symptoms which you don't want.
5. It isn't failure to have a reading in the 200s. It's knowledge that you can then deal with. Know what a unit reduces your BG, know what insulin is on board, get Walsh's Using Insulin and Pumping Insulin. Know what 7 grams of different kinds of starch does to your BG. Know what 7 grams of veggies does. Know what 5 grams of protein does and learn to give some extra insulin for protein and recognize when it's taking effect. Know what you want off your everyday foods list and keep it off. Cheers for the rant!
"insist on an endo who gives you a CGM" -- just FYI, Marie, it's not always the endo who makes it hard to get a CGM. Mine wanted me to get a CGM when I was planning a pregnancy, but the insurance company turned me down TWICE because my control was "too good". They didn't even respond to a third attempt. I've since switched insurance companies, but haven't bothered trying again yet (even though I now AM pregnant)... I just asked my endo to up my prescription for strips. He gave me 12/day, which is pretty awesome.
I've been at it for 5 years and have a slightly different perspective from most who answered here - although I am in Tim's general camp.
It is going to take time for your body to settle down. If you have a stretch where the numbers don't make sense, call your endo or CDE and ask for help. I was allowed to email my numbers to a CDE every three days for my first six months and for the first four weeks I was called back with an adjustment to my basal and bolus every time.
Yes we all need CGMs and should test 12+ times a day but not all of us do. I test around 10 times a day and do fine. For the first 3 months, I was testing only four times a day, at about 6 months I was up to about 8 and I didn't start testing 10 times a day until I started pumping at a year and a half. If testing only five times a day makes you anxious, ask for my more strips as a means to make you more relaxed. That might work with your doc. You know - it's me not you. Your endo probably has a clue but might like to break clients in slowly. It's probably not a good time to go shopping.
One doesn't have to be perfect to make very good progress. For the first six months my insulin regime was a mess. Too much basal, too little bolus leading to frequent mild lows and a very inflexible routine. On the bright side, my A1c dropped below 6. My A1c actually went up for six months after I fixed the regime and learned a lot more about carb counting and insulin management. Eventually it came back down.
Don't take what you read here for gospel. I would regularly try out things I "learned" on line such as it is important to prebolus for almost all meals and found out that my experience was different more often than not. Of course, don't take this comment as gospel either.
I was told at the Joslin DOIT program that it takes about a year to learn what you need to know. That seems about right from my experience.
Thanks so much for all the support! Just to update you, I had my endo appointment yesterday. My doctor put a lot of my fears at ease. We determined I am extremely carb sensitive. In the morning, my I:C ratio is either 1:4 or 1:3. Not sure yet. This number was scaring me, but he explained it's not about being a "bad diabetic". It's just what my body needs. He said if the doses are working for me, then they're working for me. Simple as that. That being said, my very first A1C since finding out I was diabetic with a 9.6 A1C was an 8. I can honestly say I'm pretty happy with that given the past three months have been a roller coaster ride from hell. Haha.He said I'm right on track to be getting this under control and told me a 7 the next time we meet will mean I'm getting everything nailed down.
He also mentioned something that sort of flattered me but freaks me out: the pump. Already!? He laughed at my obsessiveness multiple times during our appointment (in a nice way) because I came in with a chart of times I wanted to test to ensure I got the test strips I needed (he ended up prescribing me 10 a day! Waahoo!). We intelligently discussed the dawn phenomenon, insulin resistance, splitting my Lantus and accounting for the time change I'll undergo in July, and my fluctuating I:C ratios. I have to owe a lot my knowledge to reading topics on this site, as well as several conferences I've attended to understand this thing. He thinks I'm some little diabetic genius or something already knowing so much, but I've always been the sort of person who needs to find out everything there is to know about something. That being said, he recommended I go on the pump because judging from how much I know about diabetes I'll be able to handle the switch. I'm nervous and excited, still not sure when I'll convert just yet since I will be studying abroad in England for six weeks this summer. I want a pump so bad. Shots don't give me any flexibility whatsoever, and I'm a college student who doesn't want to plan out every meal and snack three hours ahead of time. Haha. And at Oxford, we're apparently going to have five course dinners every Monday night and I want to eat them somehow or at least eat a little bit from each course.
I guess diabetes is about small victories, but I just have to say this: I hate this. I know you all can relate, so I'm just saying it bluntly. I HATE having to think about everything I'm eating. I hate people trying to pacify me with "at least you don't have cancer" types of arguments. I hate that I'm not handling this perfectly. I hate that I'm being judged for the times I can't help but cry over this... And I hate that even 5g of carbs spikes my blood sugar. Last night my blood sugar was 85 and dropping before bed, so I had a small bowl of cereal with almond milk and this morning I woke up at 180. I'm having less and less 200 readings, so I guess with some work those 180s will become 160s and then 140s (ideally).
Thanks again for listening. Hopefully one day I'll be able to be stoked about my right to bring food with me everywhere (like Disneyworld and my college football stadium), but right now I just want to eat a piece of cake, take a shot of vodka and go back to being a carefree college student.
You know, mine brought up the pump within, like, MAYBE 2 months of diagnosis. I went home and cried. I was totally freaked out too. But it is AWESOME.
-- basal rates tailored to different times of day, esp in the early AM hours. No better way to beat DP.
-- you can turn down the basal before exercise. Fewer lows.
-- you can eat little bits of this and that ALL DAY LONG. When I was first diagnosed, I really tried to only eat 3 times a day, with carb free snacks in between... (They'd SAY that I could have up to 15g without bolusing, but yeah right! 5g has a noticeable effect on me, too.) I was miserable. That's not how I eat. Now, I bolus like 8-15 times a day. I eat like a normal person, when and how much I want. It's not a shot, just a few button presses. 5 course dinner? Bolus 5 times!
Congrats on your A1c!! And I hate everything you hate, but it is what it is. Keep learning. That is the very best thing you can do. Find foods that work well for you and listen to your body. It sounds like you are well on your way to taming this tiger. Tally Ho!
Sounds like you're doing awesome. Congrats!
Side note: who the heck says something like that.."At least you don't have cancer"!!! The nerve of some people! Did you punch them??
--> ...right now I just want to eat a piece of cake, take a shot of vodka and go back to being a carefree college student.
Love that last line. Ha!
A slightly different perspective here: I'm fairly new here, and I have seen in my short time here that there are those who like to flatline and uber-control their numbers. More power to them. That's not me -- too stressy! I realized long ago that I would either send myself crazy counting stuff (back then it was the Exchange Diet I was on...) or just be 'smart' about what and when I ate. So much has changed since those days 30 years ago -- now you got pumps and CGMs and all sorts of OCD-directed doohickeys. Personally, I love my Dexcom CGM (it is what brought me to TuD after all), but I manage on MDI, as I always have.
Directly to your stress point though -- my sugars are all over the map, though the CGM is REALLY helping me see trends and step in as necessary in front of huge spikes or extreme lows (that's SO awesome, I have to say), but, that said, I see 200s all the time. I also see 300s occasionally, as I do the 30s and 40s. Some will scoff and say I am just not in good control. Whatever. I've been doing this for 30 years now and I have no complications. That's not going to be the same for everyone, obviously, but you have to settle down and just live your life to some degree. I will say this with some need for emphasis -- STRESS in and of itself can certainly eff with your sugars! So, just worrying about your numbers can mess with your numbers! Seriously -- that is such a PITA.
So, do yourself a favor and let some of this slide. If you're at 240, it's not because you are a bad person. Likewise if you're at just 40. Sure, maybe there are little lessons to be learned along the way, and you will reel those in and do with them what you will, and maybe you will get better and better (I expect so). And then, alla sudden, one fine day everything will change on you! That's always a fun one -- when you get things dialed in, and then your body decides to completely change up on you and send you either soaring or pitching down into the hypoglycemic abyss. Again, whatever. That's the nature of this beast -- never the same twice.
Learn to live with the ups and downs and don't kick the snot out of yourself if you see high or low numbers.
Learn to live with the ups and downs and don't kick the snot out of yourself if you see high or low numbers.
Love that Reply, Michael. It is my 43 years with type one diabetes attitude that I grew into. works great for me.
Hi Marie, welcome to TuD. :) I was just diagnosed on February 10th.
Just wanted to say I have heard the 'at least it's not cancer' comment a dozen times or more... which, I feel may be a manifestation of relief from a few of them that were really worried about me. The big D sounds much more manageable to them (and I can agree) even if it is a PITA.
But it is still VERY annoying. Hang in there!
And.. just fyi.. I have learned how to squeeze in a small piece of cake or a cadbury egg without everything going haywire (well, just slightly haywire every now and then)... considering the chocoholic I was before, I need a little bit occasionally to keep me from going overboard all at once! Also.. an occasional Jameson (whiskey) and coke zero does not hurt either, but I had lots of time to experiment on a trip to New Orleans.