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Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on December 9, 2012 at 4:14pm

That's a good point. One of my other friends (the person who got me to pump, which got me online...yadda yadda yadda...) reminded me today about how we didn't go out to eat for a couple of years when junior was like 2-3 because it wasn't worth it. Which is sort of "minor league" compared to the disrpution that Kelsey will likely face...

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Permalink Reply by christy on December 9, 2012 at 4:24pm

While everyone is entitled to their opinions, I think we as a community need to support Kelsey. This is a HUGE life changing moment for any woman, planned or not, and throwing diabetes in on top of it makes this definately more scary. I for one can imagine Kelsey has spent countless hours and nights thinking about this. And yes it does mean a lot of changes, but it means a lot of changes to any woman or couple going through this. I think as a community instead of blasting Kelsey for her decisions, we should be encouraging of her to continue with her goals and plans in life. Yes it is hard, and it is certainly a challenge, but with love and support it can be done. Would everyone be happier if she just took the EASY solution, cause god forbid a young woman should try to take any personal responsiblity for a life changing outcome.

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Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on December 9, 2012 at 4:36pm

It would be a lot of pressure on junior to expect it not to mess anyone up though. I'd have to agree with Zoe that it would be more realistic to expect it to mess up. I was prepared for projectile vomiting but not projectile pooping! Eeek!

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Permalink Reply by Buckley83 on December 14, 2012 at 1:54am

Have to agree with Zoe on this.

My sister became pregnant at 17 and also had all the best intentions in the world and family support. She married the father at 18 and had another child the same year.

3 years on she is divorced, stressed, broke, tired and depressed and with two boys in a pokey flat, with two boys who are already displaying behavioral issues due to their home environment.

I couldn't deal with it at my age of 29 and having seen the toll teen motherhood has taken on her, I could not in my heart of hearts recommend or congratulate you on it as others have done.

Having a child is privilege. In my opinion to raise a well adapted, happy child is a HUGE undertaking at it cannot be underestimated. I also think it takes a maturity and understanding that it is just not possible to have at the age of 16.

It's very easy to want to prove everyone wrong and become defiant in the face of criticism, but I am afraid the statistics around this don't lie. I personally know about 20 teenage mums from the area I grew up in, all are now single and stuck in a cycle of debt, depression, low self esteem and so on..

It really upsets me and bothers me a lot, as I see it as a self fulfilling prophecy, kids having kids falling into poverty, domestic abuse, struggling the kids become teenagers and the cycle continues.

I too am a child from a similar environment and I think it is a toxic one for a child to be raised in. I am looking forward to being a father more than anything and all the work I have done career wise, health wise, emotionally etc has been towards making me a better father. I still have along way to go though ha :)

My advice is try to be rational, talk to professionals, don't get caught up in all the cute baby stuff (as it doesn't last very long, children quickly become less adorable when they start arguing back and developing their own personalities and views of the world) and make a fully informed decision.

You have all the time in the world to have a family, you should be building the skills and experiences that will enable you to do it right in years to come.

All the best.

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Permalink Reply by MyBustedPancreas on December 14, 2012 at 6:47am

Wow, couldn't have said it better myself! I became accidentally pregnant when I was 20 (I was on birth control and it failed...turns out that this sometimes happens). The best decision I EVER made was to not have that child. Sometimes, pregnancy termination is the best decision for everyone involved. I am so glad that I made the decision I did and don't have one single regret. Not only would pregnancy have been a HUGE toll on my body at that time, but it would have derailed my education. I was not financially stable at that point in my life. There was no way I could have raised a child, continued my education, etc. Just isn't possible.

Because of the choice I made, I was able to go to grad school and I have a wonderful career and spouse. I am only now (more than decade later) ready (financially, emotionally, and physically) to have a child.

Buckley83 is dead on - the statistics around this issue do not lie.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on December 14, 2012 at 9:49am

Beautiful post, Buckley! Mine apparently didn't come out as caring and concerned as it was intended but yours did. Well said.

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Permalink Reply by Buckley83 on December 14, 2012 at 11:14am

Well it did not seem fair that you were taking flak for such a sensible post.

I don't think anything you said was out of turn.

I was actually surprised that so many adults were offering congratulations, but perhaps it's the cynic in me. Never have been one for putting on the rose tinted spectacles.

Hope you are well and enjoying the winter season in that lovely dome of yours.

Have a good one,

Buckley.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on December 14, 2012 at 12:13pm

I'm good, Buckley, hope you're having a good winter as well. Hopefully people across the pond aren't as insane during the holidays as people here.

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Permalink Reply by Buckley83 on December 14, 2012 at 1:59pm

Yes just been watching the news, absolutely shocking.

Regardless of how many of these shootings happen, there never seems to be any sensible debate on the topic of gun control.

Heartbreaking.

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on December 14, 2012 at 2:47pm

Actually I was just talking about the "normal" shopping frenzies like "black Friday"! But in answer to your comment I think it's because the gun control lobbies are too powerful and supposed grown-ups have been watching way too many cowboy movies.

By the way I loved how many English musicians showed up for the "12/12/12 concert" that raised millions for Sandy relief. Mick Jagger said it was the most old English musicians he's seen at one time in Madison Square Garden. It was amazing.

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Permalink Reply by Buckley83 on December 14, 2012 at 3:13pm

Ha I wasn't sure if you were talking about Christmas shopping crazies or today's incident.

Yes Jagger, Nirvana, The Stones, McCartney what a line up.

I don't venture outside much in December, do all my shopping online ha. Even though I am currently residing right next to a "Christmas Market"...

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/shed-effect-turns-crud-i...

Reminds me very much of this article ;)

Permalink Reply by Zoe on December 14, 2012 at 3:24pm

I was wondering what a "Christmas market" was...and here I thought only Americans would pay for (read "charge") anything!
...+Eric Clapton, Roger Waters,The Who, Billy Joel, Eddie Vetter, Bruce Springsteen...anyone who wasn't one of the 2 billion who watched it I'm sure it will be repeated.

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