No Words to Speak and Nothing to Say... I'm a T1 Diabetic.

I'm a newly dx'd T1 who as a professional communicator can find no words to express how I feel. It's been a little over a month since being told my BG was over 600 with a subsequent A1C of 15+. I can't come to be angry because there's no one to be angry at and I can't come to cry because there's nothing to really be sad about. That said I'm just stuck at a point of confusion wanting aswers where apparently none exist.

As a former elite distance runner who's now 38, I've seen ups and downs and am no stranger to adversity. The crazy part is I haven't found the nerve to tell my family and if I hadn't been admitted to the hospital after finding out, I'm not even sure what I would've told my Fiancee. I know I have no reason to be or feel ashamed, but as someone who's always been seen as the cool, calm, and collected one I'm just haven't found the words to say, "I'm a T1 Diabetic".


NewT1Brotha

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Hi,

I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it difficult to tell family. I am someone who, while not in the best of physical shape, was almost never sick. Once a year, maybe. So I find that I am unwilling to "label" myself as a diabetic. My sister knows, and one other friend, but I haven't told anyone else. I also don't want to be viewed differently...

I think (and this is just my opinion) that as you grow more comfortable with your new reality, you will find the words to tell other people who care about you. It will just happen naturally.

Best wishes,
Ebirdy
Thx for the thoughts Ebirdy. It's only been a month, but I'm feeling more comfortable daily.

NewT1
Well, NewT1Brotha, you've started on your journey to communicate a challenge that now presents itself to you. Yes, you can expect anger directed at nobody in particular and everyone at the same time. It's the old "Oh why did this disease attack me"? Just what did all the good work I have done to take care of myself mean in the end? Why do I have to suffer and that "obviously out-of-control person over there seems to be free from this "monster?" Those are just a couple of questions you will come up with over the years. Since there are no outright correct answers, we just keep searching and researching. We all do this just because we are creatures that need to know things: the who's, what's, when's, where's, and how's. You may not feel ashamed right now and I say ....GOOD! Keep that pride but don't let it keep you from asking and searching. We are all here for you. Although it is mostly not professional answers, we have gone through varying levels of this struggle and can advise you better than a professional at times.

I could go on trying to encourage you, but I think a little bit at a time will be better. Start with pamphlets from the DR's office or the nurse educator and then graduate to other things like "The Dummies' Guide to Diabetes." (A really cool book.)

Get your rest and comfort from those around you and from within. Travel the road at a speed good enough for you to absorb the changes that you are going to have to make in your life.

God bless and keep you.

Lois
I'm feeling more comfortably by the day. Thx for the words of encouragement Lois.
Nice to meet you! Speechless is a good way to be. People who don't have diabetes won't likely even differentiate between T1 or T2 and probably will largely be very clueless about what it means to you or any of the rest of us. You can still be cool, calm and collected though...

and, while we're at it: http://www.tudiabetes.org/group/diabeticswhorunmarathons
Nice to meet you too Acid. I appreciate the thought and you're right about my cool, calm and collection!

Unfortunately I don't run anymore due to a military accident, but I do some coaching and will definitely checkout the group.
That's too bad. It can also be a bit challenging to be calm, cool and collected when your BG is in the 30s. It will likely be then that the people who are clueless will all of a sudden pay attention to you? Any coaching you can do ahead of time will likely help everyone's level of cool calmness considerably!
T1Brotha,
We share a couple of things. I'm a type 1 diagnosed in my 30s and I'm a professional communicator (I teach now).

I was lucky in as sense...my mom was diagnosed with type 1 in her 30s and I grew up with an awareness and an excellent role model. Still, I hid it from people as much as I could after I was diagnosed. I was mainly worried about job discrimination. At one point I was working as a food journalist and my editor encouraged me to "come out of the diabetic closet" to do a feature on working as a diabetic restaurant reviewer. It was one of the best things I ever did.

It takes some getting used to....but you're not alone and you've joined a great community here.

Lora

Lora
Hi Ms. Lora...

Thx for your thoughts. I really don't feel like I'm embarrassed or ashamed, I think it's more that I'm not in a position to educate others with questions at this point. I'm doing a lot of research daily and feeling stronger with the information and insight I'm collecting.

Your story definitely helps and I will keep your experience in mind as I continue to get comfortable with poking my own skin.

Regards.
i was diagnosed a few weeks ago so i sympathize. i've found that the best solution is to be very matter-of-fact about it, recognize the limitations it's put on me, and understand what it doesn't limit me from doing. the most important thing to do is to avoid being alarmist. it's not a death sentence and is eminently manageable, especially with current technology. i'd also learn to cook if you don't know how already.this will vastly expand your flexibility to eat delicious, healthy food, which i've found to be really important for keeping my blood sugar down and helping me stay upbeat.
Thx for the tips Ultra. They are truly appreciated.
You've come to the right place to communicate with others who understand how you are feeling and what you are going through. Take things one day at a time. As you learn more about diabetes and how to care for yourself, you may find that you are more comfortable with the thought of telling others. If you have questions (about anything) just ask - SOMEONE here is bound to be able to help :)

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