Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Leah D. Rogers on March 22, 2009 at 6:09pm

It's true. They don't get it. So many times people will ask "So how is Jillian doing"? Depending on the minute my answer will vary. Sometimes it will be that "she's doing fine" and other times I may just tear up and try to sputter out "oh... it's just been a bad day" and try to leave it at that. The response that people give when it is the latter of the two is "but I thought that she was doing fine". Well what they don't understand is that it is never going to be a solved problem. It's not like one day diabetes is FINE and will be fine from then on. It can change like the wind. It is frustrating when they just don't get it. I guess we can't really expect for anyone to fully get it unless it is something that they too are living with on a day to day basis. Wouldn't it be great if you could just tell the ol'body to just GET USED TO TENNIS again? It's as if she were saying to you that YOU just need to get used to it again.

Here's one for you. Jillian was diagnosed on Dec. 10, 2008, in ICU, moved to children's floor for 3 more days and to this day my sister has never even called me. She is a Ped's ICU nurse at another hospital in our town and knew what was going on and has never even CALLED me. Now that's enough to really piss you off!! Like you said...they just don't get it. Hang in there because there ARE people out there who DO get it. I get it!. Leah

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Permalink Reply by Diabetic_Iz_Me on March 22, 2009 at 6:13pm

It's sad but true "People Just Don't Get it". I honestly think it's hard for people who do not have diabetes to understand.

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Permalink Reply by Denise Bevard on March 22, 2009 at 6:15pm

I am so thankful my hubby and children do get it--now my boss--that a horse of a different color!

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Permalink Reply by Jason on March 23, 2009 at 12:32am

Tonight, my wife didn't know what I was talking about when I mentioned picking up my Apidra at the pharmacy.

"Oh, that's insulin?"

The solitude that comes with Type 1 makes me feel very lonely sometimes. I guess if there was something someone in my immediate family was infusing with a pump all day, every day, I might take it upon myself to know what it is called. I don't hold it against her, but it sure highlighted the isolation I seem to be perpetually stuck in.

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on March 23, 2009 at 12:57am

Sure is isolating & I'm grateful we have each other here.

Oneless, sorry that your wife didn't know what your Apridra is. That hurts. My husband is too involved. Annoys me no end when we're out with friends & he questions what I eat. Actually, it's more than annoying; it's humiliating. I'm quite diligent, but when we go out I just want a taste. Not a whole meal, just a bite of something. I'm thankful he cares, but it's more of a control thing than anything else. Every step I take, every move I make he's watching me.

My sister, among others in my life, doesn't get it either. I keep trying slowly, patiently to explain it to her, but she doesn't really want to understand. She thinks it's simply taking injections, so what's the big deal. She treats me like it's all a matter of willpower when I'm not up for doing something, just like Karen's sister.

I have a Type 1 friend (was before I diagnosed). He has since moved away. I wondered if I ever said or did anything ignorant. I asked him & he assured me that I was fine, but I do feel terribly that I didn't take more of an interest of what he dealt with 33 years.

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Permalink Reply by Kristin on March 23, 2009 at 1:11am

I hear you Oneless. Had a similar experience recently. My husband cares for me a lot and I am grateful. But when something like this happens, it reminds me that the diabetes is mine and not his. But it would be easier if it could be "ours".

Even the differences in vocabularly can make you feel so isolated. Basal. Bolus. Hypoglycemia.

I feel for you Karen. Know that when no one else gets it, we do.

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Permalink Reply by Brigitte on March 23, 2009 at 1:44am

I live the same experience in my family. One of my brother doesn't know what are the names of my insulins .. My brother knows I'm type 1 since he was 20 years old, 42 years ago. He saw me with my insulin pens but no question about them. That's sad story. I'm sure it's hard for anyone else than a diabetic to understand what it is a life with diabetes. And I'm sure we are all alone with our insulins, glucosemeters, highs and lows.

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Permalink Reply by Manny Hernandez on March 24, 2009 at 12:19am

Hey,
Why don't you ask her to join the community? There's lots of spouses of members in here. I am sure it would help her and you too.

My two cents, man...

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Permalink Reply by Karen on March 24, 2009 at 7:16am

Manny,

That is such a nice thought, but, omg, my sister also does not get my internet friendships. Even though I have had many meetups over the years. :(

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Permalink Reply by Christina Luis on March 24, 2009 at 7:52am

Hi Oneless, I am sorry to hear that your wife doesn't know what your insulin is. How long have you been married? My Hubby has been insulin dependent for quite a few years now, I am so into his diabetes that its not funny it is often a source of conflict for us. Now my 14 yo has type 1. She doesn't like how much I am into hers either.
Maybe you could talk with her and ask her for more support, maybe a little knowledge.
Sorry. The one thing I try to do for my family is not to make them feel isolated. I would gladly take on this disease than have my child have it.

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Permalink Reply by Domo! on March 23, 2009 at 11:53am

maybe you could play tennis again, maybe talk to your doc about your lows. start out small. You could always write her a letter to explain how you feel, she won't know unless you break it down. In the end we are in charge of our diabetes, everybody else can either support you and try and understand or they can get out of the way.(mean it in a nice way)

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Permalink Reply by Terry Keelan on March 23, 2009 at 12:29pm

I don't blame my family or anyone for not 'getting it.' Hell, there are plenty of people WITH diabetes who don't 'get it.' The disease is not visible and it doesn't hurt. If it resulted in a giant blotches and daily pain, lots more people would 'get it.'

My view is that it's our job - my job - to give them a clue. I have no issues with my immediate family (my wife is my pharmacist, by bil and sil are Type II) but my brothers and sisters don't know. Of course, they live far away. I had a low when one of my brothers was visiting and he said "Oh. I thought you were over that." I wish. That was a moment to educate him.

On another occassion my mother called to say "I didn't know you were Type 1. I thought only kids got that." Another education moment. I mailed her a bunch of material.

I find it hard to blame them for not 'getting it.' Before I was diagnosed I didn't 'get it' either.

Add to that the fact the most people are very, very, very uncomfortable around disease and the subject of disease in general and complicate it more by the fact that diabetes isn't visible and doesn't hurt. AND they have their own lives. As much as I'd like them too, they don't spend as much time thinking about ME as I do.

Finally, add to the mix the fact that many of us are always throwing up the example of Gary Hall and Team Diabetes and Nick Jonas to say "See? Diabetics can do anything YOU can do!" and of course they're not going to 'get it.' We can't have it both ways and say 'we're just like you' and at the same time say 'but we're SPECIAL, so watch out for our feelings."

Part of taking control of your diabetes (my diabetes) is helping people understand the disease and what it means on a day-to-day basis. We have to give them a reason to understand

So, maybe you can lighten up on your sister a bit if you can AND try the tennis. You might enjoy it again.

Terry

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