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Permalink Reply by Sarapova24 on December 26, 2012 at 6:13am

Great job getting your A1C down! I wanted to address the boyfriend thing - I have been with my fiancé for over 2 years now and he couldn't be more supportive. That doesn't mean babying me or feeling sorry for me, but it means being strict and telling me to check all the time, almost incessantly. I've had a lot of trouble with highs in the past and I am just now regulating myself to the point where I am in the 6s. Because of him, I am in better control and we want to make sure that I don't have complications so that we can see as many anniversaries as possible. I believe he is probably the best type of partner to be with, but it takes a lot of time to get there. Before him, I dated guys who didn't understand at all and made me feel like such a burden. Of course diabetes is a scary thing for those who don't understand it (and even for those that do) but there has got to be a better way for your boyfriend to handle your diabetes. He should be reading about it, asking people about it and wanting to know as much as possible so that you both are as healthy and happy as possible. Personally, I think it is impossible for "normal" people (and most type 2s for that matter) to understand what we go through, but for those who are close to you, it needs to be a matter of importance to try and learn as much as possible. It will make both of your lives easier and one day, diabetes won't have to dictate your conversations or your relationship. I once was dating a guy who said that diabetes is too much trouble to deal with for the significant other (I dumped him shortly thereafter). I went home, straight to my laptop with tears in my eyes to google "dating a diabetic." You can find everything on the Internet these days, even a forum for people who date diabetics. Don't wander over there through because most of the posts say that it's too much trouble to get involved with a type 1 diabetic. What I gathered from that site was that it is ok to date a woman with 8 kids and another boyfriend, but type 1s are waaaay too scary to be with. If your boyfriend continues to give you a hard time about even having diabetes, he needs to find Octomom and see how much of a burden diabetes is then. Just like MyBustedPancreas said, for every man out there who thinks type 1s are a burden, there is at least one person who would love to help you both make it to live to 100 so you can hold hands on your front porch in your rocking chairs with your meter nearby and your pump tucked into your bra and your CGM beeping like there's a burglar in your bloodstream. When your significant other finds that romantic, you'll know he's a keeper.

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Permalink Reply by rick phillips on December 25, 2012 at 8:56pm

I have been diabetic for 38 years and married for 35. I realize I am an old fart but here are my observations on the relationship for what it is worth. First Diabetes is not you but it is your passenger. When you move in so does diabetes. Rotten deal, inconvenient you get, but it packed its bags as well. You are inseparable.

When i got married my wife and I had not lived together, but we had been through several lows and she was still ill equipped to handle the lows. She felt constrained, embarrassed and inept in the face of the lows. We had to figure it out and it was not perfect. As we lived more and more together She took a more stepped up active role in my management. Today she handles the lows if she is home, calls 911 if needed, and scolds me for highs and lows.

My point is it does not occur overnight. Both of you have to hit a stride. You have to show your vulnerability, and frankly he needs to step up and say yeah I get it we can figure this out. If he does not see himself in this role and you cant blame him if he don't, he needs to move down the pike. I hate saying that, I know you have high hopes, and I have high hopes for you. But lets face it, you did not choose insulin, neither did I. I suggest a frank conversation and cut it off if it will not work.

It worked for me but not ever time. I dated a girl once who was appalled by my diabetes. She wanted nothing to do with it. I broached it on the first date, and we never went out again. She did not wish to be part of it. I get it, hell I didn't want to be part of it. I grew up with the disease, (my mom had it) so to me it was like second nature. But I also saw people who would not take care of diabetic children because they were scared, and invariably some of those people ended up at my house and my mom watched them.

Now none of those people were bad, none lacked courage, but all of them washed their hands of people who used insulin. Chances are this is your first serious relationship that might be ruined because of diabetes. Talk it out, be frank and tell him you understand if he needs to drop it.

Then consider something else, think abut some therapy, I always say this and people say hey I don't need therapy, well neither did I until it nearly broke me 20 years into my marriage. I was angry, in denial and just plain mean about the disease. I wish i had those years back, I would be better off today.

Finally, if your current BF walks, I will promise you 100% someone out there is looking for you. He will learn about the disease, learn what to do and put your health front and center. I found that and I told my wife before we got married I did not think we could because I was not sure she was strong enough. That shows how dumb I am, because she is tough. I mean really tough. I wish you the very best.

Rick Phillips

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Permalink Reply by Prince on January 15, 2013 at 5:26pm

What I do, since I live alone, is keep my favorite hypo foods (pixie sticks, oatmeal bars, grapes, and kool aid) right by my bed. I usually wake right up when I feel myself going down. Just so I don't have to go tearing through the fridge.
That is the only thing I hate about night time.
Anyway, 3% is awesome. You are doing really good I think. Don't give up. :0)
Also, don't be down on yourself. Just teach your boyfriend about your condition and what he should expect.

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Permalink Reply by Jenna470 on March 14, 2013 at 8:41am

I can relate to that same feeling of being a burden on your partner, I have been married for about 4 years now and it has been a roller coaster for us due to my uncontrolled diabetes at time. I feel like I can really relate to your feelings and issues that you are coping with. I want to start utilizing this site more often for support and advice.

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Permalink Reply by Stuart on March 14, 2013 at 6:32pm

See if you agree with the the original post ???

http://www.tudiabetes.org/group/diabetesvets/forum/topics/583967:To...

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